It took a week for my mother to be discharged from the hospital.
But my mom, who always saw me depressed, told me to go up after four days and said I was okay.
"What's wrong?"
"....just..."
"What's going on? Mom, I'm okay now, so go up."
There was no time to think about this or that.
When I came to my senses, I was already on the train to Seoul.
We hadn't been able to contact each other for four days.
My whole head is filled with you.
Where should I start talking about this?
How much time will it take to turn back the distance between us?
It wasn't until dark that day that I arrived in Seoul.
And I contacted the voice actor and found out the location of the female protagonist.
If I couldn't contact you because you told me not to,
Am I a loser...?
From what I've heard, you seem to be drinking alcohol you can't even handle. After all this time together, it's easy to imagine how much you'd be drinking. You must be in a lot of pain.
A bar in front of the school that the voice actor secretly told the female protagonist about.
When I got there, I saw your profile picture drinking alcohol.
And the green bottles piled up in front of you.
You're probably so drunk you can't even walk properly.
No matter what our relationship is now, I thought I should take you home.
At that time, it was not me but Hwang Min-hyun who appeared in front of the female lead.
She was the senior in the female lead class that I hated so much.
When I showed my back to the female protagonist and made a gesture to lie down,
You said something that I couldn't hear, got up drunk, and walked out alone.
When you came out, I unconsciously turned my body and hid from you.
I couldn't figure out why I did that.
Each unsteady step seemed precarious.
Your senior who will take you to the end.
Even in the midst of all this, I frowned at that senior.
You took a few more steps, and I stood in front of Hwang Min-hyun, who was following behind.
"I'll do it now. Just go."
Hwang Min-hyun, dumbfounded by my words, said something to me, but I couldn't hear him. My nerves were on edge from the moment I heard those precarious footsteps.
I just followed you.
Should I carry it or hold it? What should I do?
After mulling over a thousand ideas, I finally decided to quietly follow you. I'd follow you secretly, catch you if you ever lost your balance, and pretend not to notice if you turned around.
So I went all the way to your house.
After you went into the house and made sure the front door was locked, I headed to my house.
I was so tired and exhausted that my whole body felt like it was crumbling to dust.
I was so tired that I couldn't even move my body.
I think it was because I had stayed up all night for two nights and only slept for a few hours yesterday and today.
Even when I'm so tired I feel like I could die, I think of you, I worry about you,
Sleep didn't come.
I hope tomorrow comes quickly, and tomorrow will be a brighter morning.
With all my heart...
The next morning, the girl I ran into at school had a sad expression on her face and told me that she wanted to break up with me.
"Should we... stop...?"
I felt resentful that I had let those words come out of your mouth.
I was going crazy because I couldn't stand the timings that seemed to be trying to tear us apart.
Stop the sounds coming from your pretty lips..
Where on earth have we gone?
"Just... say you were just bored... I'll just let you go..."
Saying it was boring is nonsense.
Every moment I saw you, Yeoju, I felt a thrill, my heart pounding as if it were about to burst. You meant the same to me now as you did five years ago.
I couldn't express the countless sincerities I felt inside. I was so unwell I felt like I could collapse at any moment, but I couldn't bring myself to worry you again, so I mustered every ounce of strength I had to hold on.
At that moment, even standing and keeping my eyes open was something I had to endure and hold on to.
So, even more so, I couldn't convey my true feelings.
Your voice was moist, and as you left me, I couldn't move, and all I could do was stand there and feel my heart ache.
The tears that had formed at the corners of my eyes fell weakly.
I can't do without you... Yeoju... Come back...
I ran towards you, driven solely by the thought that I wouldn't let you go. I couldn't tell where that strength came from, but it was the best I could do.
But, contrary to my heart, you were growing further and further away,
My vision was becoming increasingly blurry.