We decided not to cross the line.

Episode 65. Rage

[I'm sorry. I got a new girlfriend...]



After reading the email subject

my hands were shaking so badly.




I couldn't decide whether to click it or not

I couldn't make up my mind.





I had clearly told him.

When filming, with someone who gives you a good feeling

to date, and even get married...

But what am I doing now...





But,

I couldn't help being angry.





First I logged out and closed the laptop.

For a long while, with my hand on the mouse,

I couldn't move.





'What should I do...Should I open the earlier emails first..

Or should I just not read them..'





As I kept thinking it over,

tears welled up.





I was so angry I wiped away my tears and

jumped up from my seat.





"Park Hunji!! It's really over now!!"




Just like when Hunji tossed his phone away then,

I felt like throwing my laptop away too.




'What's wrong with me...

What a bundle of contradictions...'





My heart and my head were like two completely different people.


I paced around the house for no reason.


I opened the refrigerator, took out some water,

filled it with ice,

and drank a whole glass in one gulp.



I flung the window wide open.



The dazzling, radiant Spanish sunlight that had once been

so bright it made me squint today glittered enough to make me wince.




'What should I do...'




When I had calmed down somewhat,

I opened the laptop again and logged in.




I couldn't bring myself to open

the very last email,

so among the emails Hunji had sent me

I clicked and opened one.





[I went to that cafe.]




'That cafe? Does he mean the cafe in Gimpo?'


Looking at the subject, I pictured the cafe we had gone to together.





[When I think about that day,

a very warm feeling comes back to me.

I don't know why, but

even when I briefly fell asleep,

I think I felt good.

I didn't even read the book you handed me and told me to read,

and when you saw me falling asleep,

you didn't think I was pathetic, did you?ㅎ

It had been a while since I had a day off today,

and I suddenly remembered that day,

so I took the you gave me

and went to that cafe.

Today I didn't doze off, and

I read the whole book right there in my seat.

Just as you empathized with the heroine Paul,

I think I read it while relating to Simon.

Why did Paul go back to Rose...

Why couldn't she accept Simon's feelings....

Maybe Paul, like you, couldn't find the courage

to do it?

.....

But still, I won't give up like Simon.]





'This person sent an email saying they got a new girlfriend today

...?...

That's really...ridiculous...'





My once-calmed heart

started boiling again.

The first thing that came to mind the moment I read that subject was

not congratulations, but anger.

The words new girlfriend kept circling in my head.





'Could I actually be jealous...'




This boiling inside my heart

was so confusing I couldn't tell what it was.





Even the chain of thoughts that kept spiraling

even made me think maybe I should just meet Miguel instead, which was absurd.

The thought flashed through my mind.





That night, without getting a wink of sleep,

I greeted the dawn.





By daybreak,

my head felt blank.




Now, with no emotion at all,

I just wanted to face it quickly

and put it away.





I clicked the email and opened it.


[For a month, every single day without missing one

I sent you an email.

I sent them thinking you might not read them,

but...

Now that I see the first email has been checked,

I got greedy and wanted to talk to you like this

at least.

But as expected...

you aren't checking anything after the second email.

So...

I'm sorry, but I had no choice but to write the subject like this.

If you opened this email

then that means there's still

a part of you thinking of me, right?

Isn't that so?]





'Fox....'




I was angry that I had fallen for his trick, but

all the time I'd spent worrying and getting angry all night

was unbearably embarrassing.




'How could I even think this far...

I really can't beat him...'




On the other hand, I even found myself laughing at his scheme.

Whether that was relief,

or lingering feelings, I couldn't tell.



Anyway, in that moment,

whatever had been weighing on my heart

seemed a little lighter.




And then, until morning came

I opened and read every one of his emails, one by one.



After reading every email,

before I had time to think, I was writing him back.




"I miss you too."