_The reason for sadness is not pain, even if it hurts
w. Eonhyang
After the treatment, I returned to Yoongi oppa's hospital room. Seeing Yoongi oppa lying still with his eyes closed, without moving, a part of my heart ached. The more I looked at him, the more my heart ached, so I kicked open the hospital room door and went down to the first floor. I felt like the dark clouds in the gloomy sky and the rain that had started to fall heavily were guiding me, so I walked forward without an umbrella, gazing into the rain with unfocused eyes. I walked in the rain like that, without a destination in mind, just following my feet.
As I continued walking, I found myself in an alley. As I was just walking aimlessly, I bumped into a group of students, all dressed in their school uniforms, smoking cigarettes. As I tried to walk past, the student removed his umbrella, which was obscuring my view, and grabbed my right wrist, saying,
"Oh, f*ck. Excuse me, if you bumped into me, you should apologize before you go."
"sorry."
Eager to get out of this place filled with the smell of cigarettes, I nodded my head in apology. Seeing me, the student let out an unspeakable curse, then gripped my wrist even tighter.
"You're being so insincere when you apologize. Don't look at me like I'm a woman."
I frowned at the tightening grip on my wrist, along with a growing sense of irritation.
"Stop letting this go. I'm not feeling well right now."
"This woman is real!"
The moment the man raised his right hand to strike me, someone grabbed his arm. He looked up and saw Park Jimin, his face hardened, glaring fiercely at him. He tried to force his arm free, but Park Jimin wouldn't let go, so he hurled a curse at him and turned away. Park Jimin watched them walk away, then turned to me, his expression softening. He brushed back his bangs, placed the umbrella over my head, and spoke.
"What are you doing here? You're not even using an umbrella."
When I saw Jimin, tears suddenly welled up in my eyes and I rushed into his arms. As I continued to sob, unable to stop, Jimin dropped the umbrella from his hand and placed it on my back. His warm touch made me cry even more. We held each other for a while, and then, as the tears finally subsided, I mumbled something in his arms.
"It's my fault. It's because of me that Yoongi got hurt..."
When I spoke, Jimin patted my back and spoke to me in a soothing tone.
"It wasn't your fault that Yoongi-hyung got hurt. So don't blame yourself."
Those words made me cry again, so I held him in my arms a little longer before returning home.
-Hurry up and wash up and go to sleep. You'll catch a cold from the rain. -Jimin
I arrived home in the car Jimin had dropped me off in. When I entered the front door, I smiled faintly at his well-timed text and went to shower. To relieve my fatigue, I decided to take a half-bath for the first time in ages. I filled the tub with water and added a little bath salt. Then I lay down in the tub and closed my eyes briefly. I lay there for a bit before getting out and rinsing. Even while I was showering, the only thing on my mind was Yoongi oppa. Yoongi oppa kept appearing before my eyes, so I squeezed my eyes shut tight, worried that I might not see him if I closed them. But even with my eyes closed, I could still see him, and I let out a deep sigh. Then, suddenly, my head started spinning, I lost my balance, fell, and my ankle started to hurt, probably from a sprain. I quickly washed up and sat on the bed. I opened the first aid kit next to the bed and roughly applied a patch from it. Without even drying my hair, I lay down on the bed. I fell asleep.
**
As soon as I woke up this morning, my ankle was throbbing. I looked down and saw it was noticeably swollen compared to the day before. With a pounding head, I reached for the thermometer and measured my temperature, which was 39 degrees. I considered resting at home today, but realizing that I had a pile of paperwork to deal with from yesterday, and thinking of Yoongi oppa lying in the hospital at my company, I got up with a frown. My ankle was tingling, but the irritation and annoyance washing over me just left it at that. I limped into the bathroom to wash. After getting ready to leave, I stood at the front door, contemplating what shoes to wear. I couldn't bring myself to wear heels, so I put on my sneakers and headed outside. As I left the apartment, I saw Park Jimin's car, so I limped towards it, hiding my limping feet. Park Jimin noticed me, came out, opened the passenger door, and I got in. And that was it, we headed to work.
I got out of the car, greeted the staff, and walked straight to Yoongi's hospital room, hiding my sore ankle until I sat down on the chair next to the bed. Park Jimin followed me, so I sat down and looked at him.
"Do you have a cold? What's wrong with your ankle?"
"...I just have a slight fever. My ankle is from falling while washing yesterday."
Still, it seems Park Jimin's eyes can't be fooled. At his worried expression, I gave him a small smile as if to say, "It's okay," and turned my head toward Yoongi. Park Jimin then told me not to push myself too hard and left the hospital room. How long had I been staring at Yoongi? The hospital room door opened and Seokjin came in. He glanced at my ankle, touched my forehead, lifted my right sleeve, and saw my arm soaking wet with blood before speaking to me.
"Yoongi will wake up soon. For now, take care of yourself first. Jimin was really worried, so he told me to get you treated. If you keep doing that, you'll end up ruining your body."
Knowing full well that Seokjin oppa wouldn't let me go just because I was stubborn, I followed him without a word. Then, for a moment, my vision began to spin, and I fell headfirst to the floor.