How to love your blue

#14. Grab the lifeline

The festival was over.

Even the once-busy booths were gradually being tidied up.

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김여주

You were really good in today’s performance!?

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한동민

…(scratches head)

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김동현

Right? haha

김운학 image

김운학

Good work today, guys!

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김운학

This time was totally legendary, and they said way more people came to this performance than last year!

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김운학

I knew it was a good idea to ask the guys for help

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김동현

Of course—Han Dongmin is the school’s main attraction

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한동민

…What are you even saying;

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김운학

It’s true!!

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김운학

When we advertised that Dongmin was performing with the band club, all the kids who’d been cheering for the soccer club came running to watch the show!!

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김여주

Wow.. he’s popular

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김동현

It’s practically a fan clubㅋㅋ

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한동민

…;;

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김운학

Anyway! I’ll head in first!

…

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김동현

We definitely contributed a lot.

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한동민

Quit puffing yourself up a little..-

I smacked Donghyun’s back as he was acting all smug.

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김여주

hahaha

Srrrk-

When I came into the classroom, it was quiet inside.

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김여주

Looks like everyone left

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한동민

Well, the seniors probably studied on their own and headed home ages ago

김여주 image

김여주

The festival was fun though..-

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한동민

Try doing that for three years and you’ll get sick of it

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한동민

The booths are basically the same every time, too..

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김여주

It was my first time though

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한동민

…Ah

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한동민

…That would be new

I can’t say anything in front of this guy

김여주 image

김여주

But,

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김여주

But, I kind of thought it was a little disappointing that you weren’t there..

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한동민

?

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김여주

I meant it would’ve been nice if you’d been there too..(mumbling)

I said it in a barely audible voice.

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한동민

…

Rustle.-

Dongmin searched for his bag for a moment, then brought something out.

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한동민

Hey, close your eyes

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김여주

?

Yeoju obediently closed her eyes.

‘What is it?’

‘Why are you suddenly telling me to close my eyes..’

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김여주

Can I open them now?

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김여주

Huh?

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김여주

I’m asking if I can open them..!

…

Dongmin’s silence made me strangely anxious.

Should I open them..

“Tap tap.-”

Then one finger tapped on my shoulder.

”Waaah-!“

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김여주

Aaaah!!

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김여주

Y..you scared me!!!

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한동민

hahaha

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한동민

How was it, were you surprised?

Dongmin burst into a grin behind the mask he’d taken off.

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김여주

Ah, seriously;;

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김여주

Where did you even get this from..;;

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한동민

I got it from a junior who was running the haunted-house booth

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김여주

…No wonder, it felt familiar (muttering)

Han Dongmin got me again.. seriously..

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한동민

You guys went to the haunted house too?

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김여주

Of course, we had to get our money’s worth~

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김여주

You probably went to every booth here, didn’t you?

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한동민

…Ah~

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한동민

You probably went to the art club’s booth too

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김여주

Huh?

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김여주

How..?

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한동민

Because you had a big mole on your face

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김여주

Wha..a b..big m..mole..?!?!

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한동민

It was face paint?

Dongmin poked his own cheek and snickered, trying to hold back laughter.

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김여주

Hey!! Where on earth do you see a big mole here!!!?

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김여주

It’s a heart?! A heart!!!!

Yeoju felt a surge of irritation at Dongmin’s provocation.

No, how is this a big mole, seriously;;

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한동민

hahahahaha

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김여주

…

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김여주

…Hey, come here.

With a determined look, Yeoju stepped toward Dongmin.

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한동민

..?

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김여주

I’ll show you what face paint is.

…

In the end, both of their faces were covered in scribbles.

Given Han Dongmin’s personality, he wasn’t the type to take it lying down.

When Kim Yeoju pushed back, he lunged at her like it was all or nothing and refused to back down.

Both of them are ridiculously childish.

Drer.-

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김동현

What are you two doing..

Donghyun, who had grabbed his bag from the neighboring classroom, came inside when he saw no sign of the two coming out.

And the sight before him was so absurd it was almost beyond belief

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김여주

…

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한동민

…He started it first

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김여주

Who told you to scare me first.-

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김동현

…

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김동현

…How old are you two,,

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김여주

…

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한동민

…

Their eyes met.

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김여주

…

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김여주

…hahaha

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한동민

…hahaha

Seeing each other’s faces, they burst out laughing.

They didn’t even think about the fact they still had to go home like this

“Hey, let’s go separately”

김여주 image

김여주

?

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한동민

What do you mean

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김동현

So embarrassing, both of you

Somehow, having two faces drawing everyone’s attention at once made it impossible not to be the center of attention.

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김동현

Hey, I’m not with them, okay?

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한동민

How heartless of him;

I snarked at Donghyun’s quick retreat as he pretended not to know us and strode off.

김여주 image

김여주

hahaha

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한동민

..Stop laughing

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김여주

…But you just look too funny..ㅋㅋㅋ

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한동민

…You’re no better

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김여주

..haha..

Somehow, it felt a little easier.

Being alone with Han Dongmin didn’t feel nerve-racking anymore.

I had thought I’d die of awkwardness just seeing his face after that day,

but thanks to those pointless jokes, I got used to it in no time.

If only it could stay like this

Let it become natural for you to be by my side

…

..

.

“Wow, damn…”

김동현 image

김동현

So it can be done..

김여주 image

김여주

?

한동민 image

한동민

What is it

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김동현

They were picking people for the survival audition this time, so I sent in an application

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김동현

And it got picked?

김여주 image

김여주

What, an audition!?

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한동민

You, of all people, actually did something like that..

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김동현

…Oh, but

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김동현

That wasn’t me

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김여주

Huh?

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한동민

?

Donghyun showed a video and said it.

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김동현

Of course I submitted it under your name

The video Donghyun showed was Han Dongmin’s performance at the festival.

Dongmin was momentarily speechless at that utterly shameless attitude.

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한동민

…What?

김여주 image

김여주

Ah.. so that’s why you told me to film it then

Only then did Yeoju realize Donghyun’s intention.

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김동현

I put you in half-joking, half-serious

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김동현

Didn’t think you’d actually get in

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한동민

…Huh?

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한동민

What kind of thing is that to say;;

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김동현

Let’s just go for it while we can

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김동현

Who knows if you’ll win

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김여주

What, Han Ddongmin is becoming a singer..!?

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한동민

No..;;

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한동민

Fuck, …where should I start tearing you apart?

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김동현

Ah, n-no, wait a second

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김동현

Seriously

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김동현

Think about it, after you graduate, what are you going to do?

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김동현

If you do this and get your face known, huh? You could even become an influencer

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한동민

Influencer my ass;

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한동민

Who’d fall for that?

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김동현

..Ahem

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김여주

Still, what a waste..

김여주 image

김여주

Didn’t you even pass the document screening?

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김동현

Now all that’s left is to pass the final interview

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김여주

Wow.. so you’d be on TV!?

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김동현

Yeah! I’m telling you~

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김여주

Wow, you’d become famous!

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김동현

Right~

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한동민

…

Are these guys in on it or something..

What audition is he talking about..;;

You got in just from doing one festival performance at school..;;

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한동민

Anyway, I’m not doing it.

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김여주

What? Why~!

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김동현

Do you know how hard it is to get inㄷ

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한동민

Enough,

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한동민

I’m not going.

Thud.-

Dongmin left the spot decisively.

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김동현

…Haa,,

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김동현

I feel like he’d do well if he tried..

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김여주

…

“Weren’t you into music?”

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한동민

?

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한동민

What, when did you follow me

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김여주

Just nowㅎㅎ

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한동민

…

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한동민

…You’re fast on your feet too

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김여주

But are you seriously not going to do it?

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한동민

…Do what

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김여주

The audition

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김여주

I think you’d do well

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한동민

…

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한동민

What would I even do it for..-

김여주 image

김여주

You like music, don’t you

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김여주

Writing lyrics and composing as a hobby at home~

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한동민

…It’s just a hobby

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김여주

That still means you’ve got talent

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한동민

…Ah, seriously;

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한동민

If you’re just going to keep trying to put me on some impossible pedestal, save it

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김여주

It’s not a pedestal-3-

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김여주

You always start doubting the moment someone says you’re good

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김여주

You’re basically a suspicious cat.

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한동민

What.. cat..;;

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김여주

I don’t lie

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김여주

Everything I’ve said to you was sincere..-

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김여주

If you’re good at something, I say you’re good. What else would I say?

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한동민

…

Maybe I was just scared.

A new beginning

Because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to handle the turning point coming toward me

After falling in the place I believed was the right path, it was so easy

to collapse miserably over what I’d lost, like grains of sand disappearing in a handful.

When I rose back up, what was left behind was a snapped lifeline, leaving behind despair and frustration.

The lifeline that had been lowered to me, even though I knew grabbing it meant falling

At one point, I even wanted to cling to it.

I reached out like I was struggling just to survive.

The moment I thought I’d grabbed it, the sky laughed and dropped me along with the rope.

I became prey for a hungry tiger where I fell.

The lesson I learned from the flesh that was torn away was the limit placed on me.

In the end, it was the result of my own greed.

Even knowing that, it was my fault for stubbornly clinging to the rotten lifeline.

What I learned that day was reality.

But then

One day, that mocking sky lowered a new lifeline to me.

A new rope, impossible to know whether grabbing it would make me fall, dangled before my eyes.

Having fallen before had turned into hesitation.

Facing the new lifeline laid out before me, there I was, frightened.

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한동민

How do you know I’m good at this

김여주 image

김여주

Hey

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김여주

I do have eyes and ears, you know?

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한동민

..What?

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김여주

No matter what anyone says, I’m your No. 1 fan

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한동민

What are you talking about..

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김여주

I mean I don’t doubt your skill

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한동민

…

Who are you..

On what basis are you saying you trust me..

I can’t even trust myself

Who do you think you are

김여주 image

김여주

I can’t lie

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김여주

I’m allergic to lying. If I lie, my stomach starts churning and it feels like ants are crawling inside my body. Huh? And also••• (rambling)

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한동민

…

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한동민

…haㅋㅋ

Laughter burst out.

In front of you, my doubts vanish like they were nothing.

I end up forgetting that ridiculous talk in no time.

I was pushed forward by that reckless certainty.

Were you the one hanging from the lifeline and reaching out to me?

While I was standing by, doubting the lifeline, you reached your hand out to me first.

Maybe what I grabbed was your hand after all.

김여주 image

김여주

So what I mean is!

‘Grab’

Dongmin grabbed Yeoju’s hand in one swift motion.

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김여주

…Huh?

For a moment, Yeoju was at a loss for words, her face shocked.

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김여주

W..why are you taking my hand

Even her words came out all jumbled and broken.

Why is Han Dongmin suddenly acting like this, and why the hand? Suddenly?

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한동민

Don’t like it?

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김여주

Huh?

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한동민

You said you can’t lie

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김여주

…Y..yeah, I, uh..?

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김여주

…I like it(?)

You like it? Like what??? No, what am I even saying

For a moment, it felt like my language skills had regressed.

It seemed like I’d been about to say something, but I’d forgotten it in the space of a second and got distracted by the hand he was holding.

Since I couldn’t say I didn’t like the hand he was holding either

and there was no taking back what I’d just said,

maybe Han Dongmin had aimed for exactly this

If it was this guy, who was good at thinking on his feet, he must’ve already calculated a new variable

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김여주

…

My mouth, closed tight as if doing silent practice, had gone bone-dry.

I couldn’t even lift my head and looked down instead.

My face was already on the verge of exploding

한동민 image

한동민

…

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한동민

…I’m done for soon

Dongmin led Yeoju by the hand toward the classroom.

As we trudged along

why was this

making me tremble so much?

I didn’t want to show it, but my fingertips twitched against my will, and I felt stupidly irritated at my own pride.

Even though I was scared the small hand in mine might break in a breath, I couldn’t let go.

…

..

.

-

-

…

To be continued>>>>

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