My gaze was always on you.
10 | My eyes were always on you, so why aren't you there?
At that moment, Taehyung's expression darkened. It was probably one of the things he'd been concerned about. It was something anyone would find strange. It was like hurting someone because you liked them, only to hear them say they liked you back.
But, it was just too good. That the person I liked liked me.
배주현.
Why are you bringing that up?
이지안.
Just curious? If you like Jimin-sunbaenim and you're seeing Taehyung, I'd ask you this question any time. That's just now.
His and her expressions reacted to my every word. It was clear she was hiding something. Taehyung probably doesn't know the truth I know yet. I'm about to begin my attack. It's my turn to attack, having always been on the defensive.
이지안.
Kim Taehyung, aren't you curious too? The guy who hurt you a few minutes ago is asking you out?
배주현.
Stop it, Lee Ji-an.
김태형.
What on earth is this that only I don't know that makes you guys act like this? Joohyun, tell me. Why did you ask me out?
Her trembling pupils brought happiness back to me. We were once friends, so why would I want to ruin their relationship by doing something like this? It's just a difference in how we love. No matter what anyone says, I'll try to think that way.
배주현.
It's true that I like you. But the biggest reason I confessed to you that day was because of Lee Ji-an.
Watching them fall apart made me so happy. That was until she continued. I had no idea the unthinkable would unfold. No one could have imagined it.
배주현.
After I fought with Ji-an, I came to you and told you I was upset. I saw Ji-an standing behind the door. I wanted to protect my relationship with you two, so I pretended not to notice you even though I liked you. Because Ji-an likes you.
김태형.
Huh? What is that...
이지안.
Bae Joo-hyun, what are you doing?
배주현.
I'm at my limit now. Didn't you know that what you were trying to blow up would lead to this outcome?
김태형.
What does this all mean? So, Joohyun, are you saying that Ji-an pretended to like someone else because she liked me?
배주현.
Yeah... Back then, my priority was my friends, not myself.
Why is it that even this moment of light shining on me is so fleeting? Why does every time I try to be happy, it always gets shattered? I thought I was finally in a position to feel a little bit of happiness, but this event only strengthened Joohyun and Taehyung.
이지안.
Why... why aren't you looking at me?
Finally, the words that had been swirling in my mind every day burst out. It was so unfair. Why do I always lose in every situation? I just quietly thought of him in my mind, and every time he pierced my heart, I felt a brief thrill. That was all.
이지안.
My gaze was always on you, so why not you? Why am I the only one who feels so pathetic in every situation?
김태형.
Lee Ji-an...
이지안.
Don't call my name... Please don't shake me. If you like Bae Joo-hyun, don't do that to anyone but me.
This incident probably completely tore the relationship between the three of us apart. A relationship that could never be restored. It's like the sub-female protagonist being abandoned by her couple and her inferiority complex and jealousy. I can't say exactly what it is. The other sub-female protagonists are always trying to sway the male leads.
After that incident, my gaze no longer turned to him. I simply returned to my original role. Not as a supporting actor sandwiched between the main characters, but as one of the supporting actors studying in class. This was probably my original position.
The wounds I'd been carrying slowly began to show themselves to me. I'd been looking only at the person I loved, ignoring the wounds and pain I'd inflicted. But now that I was left alone, I could truly feel it. I realized how much I'd suffered.
이지안.
after..
Who could have predicted that we, who had never been apart, would end up separated, going to and from school together every day? But now that we're apart, I can see how much they've been a part of my life.
김태형.
I know you're uncomfortable, but eat this first. As a friend, I can't stand seeing you skipping lunch because you're uncomfortable. Come back anytime, I'm always open.
Friends... That was our relationship. Friends we'd known each other for a long time. A relationship that couldn't go any further than that. What meaning could there be in this behavior? Could I really be arbitrarily assigning meaning to it?
이지안.
Taehyung, I told you... Since you chose Joohyun, we can't be friends anymore. Because I'll see you two every day and it'll be hard, I'll be sad, and I'll start to hate you both.
김태형.
You know you're really stubborn, right? If it really makes you uncomfortable, I'll stop. I respect your opinions every day.
His presence in my dull life has made me happy. Even now, when my heart feels empty, my heart races when I see him. I want to hope that something special will develop between us. Even if the odds are slim, I want to approach him just once more. Because he's a light in my dark life.