Please hate me

Episode. An Excuse for Me

Please hate me_One day

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전원우

"Hmm..."

지여주

"Wonwoo, are you awake?!"

전원우

" you... "

It wasn't until the afternoon of the next day that Wonwoo came to his senses. After that, Dr. Ahn came and made a big fuss about not taking sleeping pills anymore. He then left and handed him a plate of food as he looked out the window.

지여주

"Let's eat first."

전원우

"I have no appetite, I won't eat."

지여주

"Can you feed me something?"

When I scooped up rice with a spoon and chopsticks, put some stir-fried anchovies on top, and brought it to my mouth, only then did he open his mouth with a displeased expression and start eating. Would it be strange if I thought his pouty face was somehow cute?

From now on, I will do anything to protect you.

지여주

"Why don't you eat when you eat so well? Why don't you eat?"

전원우

"..Aren't you going?"

지여주

"I'm not going"

I won't go anywhere now. I'll be by your side.

For you, no, maybe for me, I decided to stay by your side. Well, honestly, it was an excuse entirely for me and for my heart. An excuse that you would probably find horrifying.

전원우

"You...are you really not going?"

지여주

"I told you I'm not going. Have you been living a lie? Go lie down quickly."

전원우

"...go to sleep."

지여주

"Okay... good night."

The next day, after being discharged from the hospital, I returned to my new home with Wonwoo, where I had promised myself I would never return. Surprisingly, I was secretly surprised to find all my belongings still in their original places.

Why am I doing this? Am I expecting something?

지여주

"You shouldn't do things like that..."

I kept holding onto my heart that kept beating fast and fast, holding onto my expectations. I had no right to have such expectations, but I started to hate my heart for keeping them. How could I have the shame to expect anything, when I was no different from that person's pain?

I quietly opened the fridge to find the ingredients to make porridge, prepared them, and ate them. It was fortunate that I didn't have to chase him away. In fact, I was doing this because I didn't have the confidence to face him.

Because there are excuses, there are excuses to face him.

전원우

"Ugh...I don't like it...don't do it...no, don't do it!!!"

지여주

"Wonwoo, Wonwoo!!!"

전원우

" ah. "

I knew Wonwoo's wounds were deep and profound, ever since I discovered those countless drugs and sleeping pills. But I didn't know they were eating away at him and his heart to this extent.

I was startled by Wonwoo's seizure, which was the first time I saw him with a pained expression, so I shook him awake.

My father's sins are killing you like this...

전원우

" ...get out. "

지여주

"Wonwoo, are you okay? This,"

Clang-!! Crunch-!!

전원우

"Get out, get out!!! Get out!!!!! "

I fell down at Wonwoo's screaming voice and hurried out of the room without even thinking about cleaning up the broken dishes.

How much...how much pain...how much fear...

1277_A