The struggles of EXO's coordination

Someone's circumstances

김여주

"Now is not the time to be doing this. We have a music show filming coming up soon. If you could just let the rehearsal pass, we could at least film it properly…"

박찬열

"hey."

김여주

"···."

박찬열

"I hope you don't make the arrogant mistake of thinking that just because we appeared on a broadcast once last time, we'll continue to do so in the future."

I somehow managed to get through the last Radio Star shoot, and while I was at it, I even made some music show schedules. Seeing those who refused to go, I couldn't hide my bewilderment.

I heard Chanyeol's sarcastic remarks, but I couldn't properly refute them. Just because they left the show once didn't mean they'd continue.

I was so complacent. I didn't realize that maybe I was just being arrogant.

김여주

'···But the schedule is already set.'

Still, they couldn't cancel their already-established schedule. In the case of music shows, canceling a schedule would result in significant losses for both the broadcaster and the agency.

김종대

"And this is something I've been wanting to ask since last time: If you got a job as a coordinator, you should do coordinating work. Why are you acting like a manager?"

김여주

“…They declared a hiatus from activities and fired everyone, including the manager and everything. There’s no one else who can do it but me.”

김종대

"So, you can leave too. It was your fault for arbitrarily scheduling things without even asking our opinion. We somehow got away with it last time out of consideration for the fans, but that won't happen again."

I wasn't sure how to react to Jongdae's words. Yes, I hate to admit it, but this was clearly my mistake. After all, they were the ones who had to manage their schedules, and I had arbitrarily decided to do so.

But while these circumstances are their own, I also have my own. While they created their circumstances through their own will, mine were determined by fate.

My younger brother is about to undergo major surgery. This is the blinding reason I can't give up on this.

김여주

"I'm sorry for arbitrarily scheduling things. But I want you to know that I have no intention of backing down. I'm just as desperate as you are."

엑소

"···."

김여주

"I know it must have been hard for you. But it's not just you. Everyone has their own circumstances, and most people work to overcome them. I'm no exception."

엑소

"···."

김여주

"But what are they doing now?"

The members looked as if they'd been taken aback by my words. While I was certainly at fault in this case, if we were to be specific, it wasn't solely my fault.

There's something wrong with people whose job is to sing not singing.

김여주

'I also feel sorry about Koinator's suicide.'

It's truly a shame that their former coordinator, who was so close to them, passed away. But they needed to let him go.

It would be foolish to dwell on a past that's already over and ignore the present and future. Furthermore, just because things are difficult, you can't just sit back and struggle forever.

To create a better future, we need to make an effort to overcome this situation on our own.

김민석

"Okay, let's go in and see. What's so urgent?"

김여주

"···I have a sick younger sibling."

김민석

"···."

김여주

"They say if you don't have surgery right away, you could die."

김민석

"···."

김여주

"As a mother responsible for a child, I have to earn money for my younger sibling's surgery. It's the last straw for me in this harsh reality, you guys."

I didn't expect them to fully understand my circumstances.

But I thought I could empathize to some extent, and even if I couldn't empathize, I would at least feel pity and pull the last line given to me a little closer.

But I soon realized that it was another arrogant mistake.

장이씽

"So what do you want us to do? We're having a hard time, aren't we? It must have been so hard for us that we declared a hiatus. We're having a hard time, and for the sake of Yeoju, we can't suffer any more here."

박찬열

"Why are you saying such nice things? It wasn't worth hearing in the first place."

김여주

"···."

박찬열

"In the end, you tried to bring us out into the world by bringing up fans just for money. It's natural for people to die, but you're just trying to stop that. Seriously…"

I felt like tears were coming. I was so sad. It felt like a crack had formed in the place I'd been holding back, and all at once, all my emotions were surging out, exploding.

As soon as Chanyeol finished speaking, I lost all sense of reason and slapped him across the face. With all my might, with everything I had. The members looked shocked as they watched Chanyeol's neck snap quickly. Seeing Chanyeol chuckle in disbelief, I quickly blurted out my words.

김여주

"How can you be so twisted in your thinking? Your younger sibling can live if you just have surgery. And you're just going to watch over someone who could live if you just have surgery? Don't you know how hurtful it is to tell someone who could live if you just have surgery that they're going to die anyway?"

박찬열

"···."

김여주

"I don't know about you, but to me, you're the only family I have left. Chanyeol, you'll never understand how I feel even now as I talk to you."

박찬열

"···."

김여주

"Chanyeol said the harshest words to the person who is most precious to me."

After I finished speaking, I couldn't stay there any longer and left the room.

As soon as I stepped outside, tears began to flow as if they had been waiting for me. I didn't make a futile effort to stop them. I knew they would stop on their own once I calmed down.

김여주

'···Why won't my tears stop flowing?'

But once the tears started to flow, they wouldn't stop easily, and eventually, I went up to the rooftop alone and cried until I could barely breathe. I tried screaming, I tried sobbing like a child. But crying didn't change a single thing about my tragic reality.

김여주

'It's the worst of the worst.'

In the end, EXO's schedule was not carried out that day.

After EXO canceled their music show schedule and I got yelled at by the CEO, I couldn't bear to see EXO again. Even if I scheduled them, they'd just refuse to go and get all worked up. But I couldn't just give up.

It was difficult to find a clear answer as to what exactly was expected of me.

김준면

“…Excuse me, do you have a minute?”

At that time, an unexpected guest appeared to see me.

When I saw Junmyeon sitting on a chair in the company hallway and asking if I had time, I couldn't help but let my embarrassment show on his face.

But that expression soon vanished, and he nodded. I don't know what he'll say, but it was all for the best. I needed to spend some time with the members and have a conversation someday.

김준면

"First of all, I'd like to apologize for Chanyeol's rude behavior last time. The other members are members, but Chanyeol is especially close with the former stylist, so it was even worse."

김여주

"What kind of relationship were we in..."

Do you hate me that much?

I swallowed my words and focused on Junmyeon's words.

김준면

"Lovers. Chanyeol and my ex-coordinator were dating. They were secretly dating, so no one knew about it except the members. That's why everyone was so confused by his sudden death."

김여주

"···."

김준면

"My former coordinator always comforted us whenever we were having a hard time, and he always worked hard for us. That's why we all cherished my former coordinator so much, to the point where we had to announce a hiatus from activities."

I couldn't hide my surprise at Junmyeon's words. I knew they cared deeply for their former stylist, but the fact that Chanyeol was in a relationship with his former stylist was beyond my imagination.

I began to vaguely understand the incomprehensible behavior of these people. I had already been confident that I fully understood that they had their own circumstances, just as I had mine.

김준면

"I've decided to accept you, Yeoju, to a certain extent. That's why I'm here to tell you this. As the leader of a group, I'll try to persuade the members. But the outcome is in your hands, you understand?"

Junmyeon's words made me feel like my fading hope was being revived. I don't know why Junmyeon suddenly changed his mind, but I think it was probably because he understood how I felt.

Anyway, I had a terrible experience of losing someone precious to me before, so I guess you understand how I feel now.

김여주

"···thank you."

김준면

"···."

김여주

"Compared to Cody, I'm nothing, but I'll work hard to make sure EXO doesn't get hurt."

Junmyeon smiled faintly at my words. The impossible was slowly becoming a reality.

No one in this world is without circumstances. Everyone has their own unique circumstances, and those circumstances are perceived differently depending on how others perceive them. However, once you understand those circumstances, the only thing that remains is the word "together."

I finally realized that fact.