- why don't you stay? Don't you find hard to return to an empty home? - I asked to Suga, he wanted to leave immediately after we decided that we should stop working. The song we have to arrange would be the latest to be published meanwhile we are doing our stuff as soldiers. Jin will have to add his voice alone we couldn't get it fixed on time...
Any arrangement was making it look... we never found a reason to talk about love, but lately all have our hearts full of questions... was correct the way we loved in the past? We changed? Love is another thing nowadays....
Even I was struggling, my problem with Jenny, the possibility of me being in love with another man or with the members of my group, was published every day. What happened tonight surprised me... what if someone else wanted to be on the same position as Jin? He almost destroyed his life for a feeling of love.
My solo album was turning into that... my doubts, my concerns... what if I ... that's how started all the questions in my head and then wanted to comfort those that love but for a reason or another is not like a fairy tale, perfect, acepted, permanent... what about those still in love with an ex?
- Nah... I prefer to go back, feel like I'm disturbing because I am not... I don't know how to distract my mind from worrying about Baika, sometimes I don't know what I should feel, wanna frozen myself until she comes back so she will find exactly the same dude she saw the last time.
- she is going to start over and love whatever you are, as long as you still love her - Jungkook says
- Baby's changing too... I don't know what is going to come back, if she will love me the same, can't go and rescue her by myself, can't be a prince... even can't promise to be the same if she is not ... see you around, take care...
- just don't forget how to love, every day, even when she is missing - I said
- Have to solve it by myself, but thanks Taehyung I will try to remember your words - Suga was about to leave, he was dealing with his shoes when Jungkook hurried towards him.
- aren't you going to tell me what you two talked about ? - I asked to Jungkook when we arranged his room to share and rest.
- I didn't wanted he would go home thinking about me and Baby in a wrong way - he answered, so he secretly feels something?
- Are you in love? Wanna try something like Jin did?
- I don't know... I get bored easily when I get what I want... in the process the things I pursued so hard lost their value and shine. Furthermore would feel horrible if something happens to their relationship, they are married aren't playing around, wanna be parents... that's not just some sex and dates like we do - he says
- Ar least Jin hyung broke the rules and the only thing she cannot forgive him for is...
- she never stopped loving him on her trems... he did whatever he wanted, stepping over her... never asked what she would do about his feelings... everything he did was by himself, he didn't respect her... she told me - Jungkook interrupted me.
- then wanna share your thoughts? I am here bro - I said.
- Suga... he asked Jin and I to help him with Baika... I thought she was like a super heroine... he showed us her less shining side... think like, I see her more real... she is like any woman, someone who needs someone - he says
- But they are married, she always put a line... why is so complicated for you and Jin to understand?
- I understand, I see the limits clearly but Suga comes with a brush and erased the straight mark and draw another thing nowadays that have pieces missing... and that is... I don't understand what he wants - says
- And you? what do you want? Because if was something just physical like I tried, she said no and that's it... nothing extraordinary happened she wanted to be loyal and I see how well it is for them, their relationship is nice... not like I feel bad about myself.
- Has to be her to satisfy this.... I don't know what is it - he said rubbing his body
- What do you mean? What does she have that other girls wouldn't?
- I don't know... the thoughts are killing me because Jin doesn't stops me, when he passed all that troublesome feeling before me... Baika doesn't even knows and Yoongi, he makes me more confused.
- why?
- Because that can kill him, make him insecure and ruin everything but since she only tried Yoongi's love... is like... she haven't chosen him with enough experiences, because he loved several times before and she just him... I don't know , I've never been so confused in my life.
- wow... why you or Jin? Why not someone he doesn't even know... I mean, if he would permit a small affair - I tired to understand
- that's it he doesn't want anyone or an affair... he wants something safe and good for her... he doesn't really loves people easily and he loves us... trust us with his life... maybe he sees more potential for it on us... I don't know, I'm scared to ask him actually - he looked to the ceiling
- ah... I don't know why is like a pang in my heart... I am nice, or not?
- you are nice... she thinks can't handle you, that you will overpower her, you are very persuasive and knows what to do to win all the time, even if she loses her happiness and respect for herself... I asked when she she took a picture of you and cursed... you are handsome, don't feel bad if she says no to you.
- you are softer then? Or Jin is also that bland? - I asked confused trying to pickture her point of view.
- no... we are the truly shy ones... are scared to hurt the one we love, even those night stand girls... we are the doting ones.... I don't know, we always ask first and are more careful, are the most protective and kind heartedly but she seems to notice the difference between each individual... that she can't control her feelings about Yoongi... has a voice in her head telling her go for him, please him, don't be scared, tease him, be yourself good and bad is fine... Yoongi can manage you, savage.
- Isn't that Jiminshi? What about Hobi? - to me he was the softer one then Jungkook and Hoseok... the list is different in my head.
- it's four a.m. what do you want? Hope is important or I will take revenge - Jimin says over the phone I turned it into a video call
- we have a question, about your thoughts Chim - Jungkook says and he automatically softened his expression and seemed ready to hear us.
- Baika... you love her? - he asked.
- why should I? I mean she is a good girl and obviously she is family now... but why that question? Something happened, they found her?.
- no... no, we talked to Yoongi earlier and have some questions in our heads... we asked for your honest thoughts... really can't love her? - I explained.
- Probably there exist hundreds of girls like her, just we haven't met one similar yet... as long as Yoongi is happy with her, then she will be my favorite from all the girlfriends he had... nothing extraordinary, why? Aren't you the same? - Jimin says
- that's not it... how is your relationship with her?
- my relationship? What relationship? I mean we are friends, I appreciate her and everything but my loyalty is with Yoongi, in case those ever happen to go separated ways. I had spend time with her and she is amazing and everything but I can't see what is so special on Yoongi's eyes, as much as he explained to me, still can't get it... we have different tastes in woman.
- last question, I promise... If you were the only one that was close to her... I mean, imagine yourself being her boyfriend - Jungkook says
- Well now that I know her better... yeah would be nice to sleep with someone that sexy... but she irks my insecurities, dances well, can do and learn new things easily, nobody can be indifferent about her, men think badly just because is not from our country and so dark skinned... wouldn't be able to dress up for me outside home, never will use heels... would have so many stupid things to call forbidden for her that maybe because of that, she will lose herself and I will be the horrible husband sleeping outside on her back and giving her all my bad to endure but nobody should think we aren't the same perfect couple as Yoongi and she are.
- that's sounds horrible Chim, how can you imagine something like that? - I asked.
- says the dude that secretly has been trying to taste those lips, Taehyung, don't make me open my mouth because you think so highly about your loving habilities, you would snatch her to your bed and fulfill your ego just because she never tasted a man before she arrived to our lives, think that would be enough to marry her? Would you marry her if she answered to wait for it as she did? Or would be happy hearing the gossips about her in the agency? Be honest... I am curious, Jungkook already call her Bunny and that means "she is mine, don't dare to try anything with her, I'm the only one that can" - Jimin said and Jungkook felt teased about it.
- I am curious, it's a game... I don't have interest for her, not enough to get into a formal relationship or ask her in marriage. I don't imagine her being the same for me, Suga and I don't even like the same food, less the same kind of girl - I said and was surprised that I actually didn't loved her more.
- she is not mine, we never ! - Jungkook protestested
- Happy to heard that, but Jungkook... you're on the limit already, Jin have gone crazy because they have been together... I mean, if she wasn't glued to Yoongi, Jin was all the time calling her, looking for her, teaching her everything... he was more like a lover than a friend... you are falling for her, you can tell us, we will keep the secret - Jimin says
- maybe... I don't know, she never gave me the impression that... Yoongi always have been her target and probably loves us too but nothing will ever happen... I am sure - he said, that may be but I doubt it was totally honest... seems like he said that because Jimin would hate her if she is not loyal to Yoongi.
- okay... let's sleep... Chim Chim, don't be so rude with Jungkook, you know he loves more the company and the nice treatment that explosion of passion, he never tried to win over someone we were seriously dating - I said
- I know... but he doesn't see the wrong idea it can become, I mean Jin has gone insanely in love, an impossible achievement, by himself got burned... I don't want to see Jungkook feeling horrible like he experienced when he couldn't stop those sentiments. He would think Yoongi was unfair and should handle her to him like... she is a person who has her own feelings so don't start thinking on a relationship with her, Yoongi hyung will die if he learns you want her... always thought he should give you more, because you are youngest... and he loves you.
- you are his favorite - Jungkook says to Jimin.
- because I will stop when he had enough of my stunning self - he laughed
- yeah, lovely... have a good night - I cut the call short.
- ta~da! - answered Hoseok
- oh so energetic at this hour! - we noticed.
- have to be, guys I'm next to enlist, RM must look alike, he says that wanted to go on the same dates as me.... why are you guys calling?
- How do you feel about Baika? I mean seriously we are talking because we have been with Yoongi and he... well, is the husband - I said Jungkook wasn't really comfortable asking him when we got that answer about it from Jimin.
- ummm, she is sexy and a nice girl... but dress like... depending... can't stand it. Why the question? He revealed another of his lovely thoughts about her?
- we know that... imagine if you were on Yoongi's place?
- I don't know... there is a lot about her that is fine because she is just a friend and not my woman, but doubt would be able to get her back... she will return full of trauma... I don't know if I would have the patience to arrange all that got broken, when it wasn't my doing... don't even think I would fall for her if she wasn't on perfect condition from the very beginning... I tend to not let go of imperfections that can't be molded to something comfortable or acceptable for me.
- aish hyung... don't even wanna ask about us - I said.
- you know I love you guys, but sometimes I would imagine a train passing over you, but thats fine, we always work on or relationship so I can admit some irrelevant things.
- thanks... know I understand why Yoongi doesn't fuss much if you look like struggling - Jungkook says
- He is worried... internally.
- Well, that answered a lot but Hobi... love us more would you? - I said Before hanging up.
- Never! - he teased me.
- something happened?
- no just a question, do you like Baika ?
- surely, why?
- no I mean honestly - I asked
- uff, I don't think about it... she is fine, I guess, I am more into badass girls you know? But is sexy as hell, I mean if she is anything like her sis, definitely would like a taste.
- Enough to ask her in marriage like Yoongi did? - Jungkook finally asked.
- mmm, maybe, she is loyal... maybe that would work for me, she never asked Yoongi to be exclusive or loyal, she does because is what feels right for her and he just can't, he has to be perfect or wouldn't be able to continue with his life if he can't be sure that when he returns the door will be open for him... I am quite unfair even if I love seriously... can't miss any opportunity, that is quite inconvenient to have a marriage and family if I find someone appealing even when I shouldn't... I don't know if I will respect the fact that must be loyal and fair, imagine if my wife would behave just like me... what a disaster!
- Do you think Baika would be fine if Yoongi cheated on her?
- yes, she is fine as long as they get to certain compromise beforehand, but doubt she would accept to do the same... think she is one of those that can only be happy being exclusive... I don't know... I am closer to Lily that is... almost doesn't knows what morality means. It's my taste on girls.
- Horrible hyung, but if you were Yoongi?
- I wouldn't survive... she was the one repairing his broken soul, he always adviced us, Jin would put the touch of practical reality when he just star thinking on all the possibilities and different things that can be done. I am worried about what will come back, because he promised to be more protective and then ended this way... hopes everything is for the better. I have never seen him so in love with someone and his past and surrounding is what have hurted her the most... I don't know, hopes he doesn't does something crazy like going to DMZ to find her - RM says
- Jin said they are serious about looking how to find them, I trust him, he wouldn't lie about it - Jungkook says
- yes, definitely... you have been with Suga? That's why you called ? - he put more attention to us and we saw there was a naked woman sleeping next to him.
- mmm, yes... Brother and her girlfriend or whatever she is too, there was a conflict because I have a picture of Baika in my apartment and they teased me.
- and? Something happened, something I should know? - he insisted.
- no he seemed fine but sad, I explined to Taehyung that, just before she was kidnapped Suga was talking to Jin and I to help him, because she really was scared of another dangerous situation, and he felt like we were the right ones to ask for help.
We couldn't understand his reasoning or his behavior tonight, so we have been calling the others around - Jungkook admited.
- and? Have you cleared up your ideas? - he relaxed
- I wanted to be one of those chosen ones to be closer to Baika but I realized we love her less than what we might say - I admited.
- It's okay, usually nobody can be so amazing to have we all of us on the same line as Yoongi is, or Jin is or you Jungkook... I haven't said anything, but you called dibs on her as soon as you started to call her bunny, maybe never crossed the line but something inside you already found... I don't know what exactly, but you are falling for her, you aren't Jin that gives up when he is not happy with something. You are a fighter a warrior, you go for it not matter the obstacle, Yoongi has imagination so he creates his own ways... think twice before going on fighting mode, Yoongi could be the one becoming a crying mess.
- I haven't done anything hyung - Jungkook says
- not yet, but if she ever is in a low momentum, you will and aren't going to regret it... just don't knock her pregnant before he can ... I caught him thinking on the possibility since... well... they haven't replied the miracle yet and he faced Jin to try and win her over because... well he can't be happy knowing Jin loves the same person, he always thought so highly about us his members... he would love us even if it kills. Just think Jungkook because Yoongi can't anymore.
- why? - I asked, was I missing something?
- Taehyung what do you need to live?, water, food... things like our Fandom... Yoongi can't handle losing Baika now, the sun raised because of her for him... he would never admit something so corny, but for you to understand easily... think he will accept if she chooses to change and abuse that love he has for her now.
- I'm not doing anything particular hyung - Jungkook says
- I know, just in case... bye... I am busy.
- Busy... I wanna sleepTaehyung, I have heard enough.
He didn't actually waited for an answer, the next morning, I was alone in the apartment
Baby's P/V:
I was pissed... money... they are making me carry their money, just now I understand why they hit me any time I try to lose them. We don't have shelter, useful tools, transportation or food and varely something to drink... they are full on alcohol... and know that they are looking for us, feels like we are running in circles.
At night we got closer to the river, it was quite big and the waters seemed cold as hell... but have to take the risk. I started to take my clothes off.
- what are you going to do? - Asked Lee that was pointing a girl with his gun to force her to open her mouth and do something awful for him... that coward... he has to keep me alive so he knows a gun wouldn't stop me from killing him if he tried anything on me.
- clean myself, my days started... it was a lie but soon will become a reality.
- here... you will die if you tray to go in - Gi seemed to be ready for this but was hiding all the good stuff, probably because as soon as Jena saw the items robbed them to herself, she started bleeding in the morning and her man just kept carrying her around he was exhausted from the extra weight but didn't protestested as long as she pleased him.
- don't worry the cold will make it stop for a few days - said, put my clothes in a plastic bag, where they made us have all that can lead to us... wasn't much on mine, since I wasn't given anything I washed the extra food that can't be storaged now that was wet. Observed them and at the firt opportunity got into the glacial water to scape, I tried to be fast, but couldn't see anything under the water and going with my head out was making me feel the cold more severely and also they started to open fire.
GI tried to reason with them but Jena tried him and Seo well... he must not love her because he didn't failed... Lee was abandoned with his money and a group of almost naked and abused girls that tried to run away.
I run away without looking back, walked in a straight line trying to not get lost and be found by someone that would actually not be part of their criminal association. It was dark to advance quickly but I didn't stopped for a moment... they followed me, and didn't knew whom I will find out on my route, friend or enemy because some soldiers are part of the gang.
My body was burning after the frozen bath and my clothes were almost dry, so I was fine to keep walking in the dark, even my feet were warm compared to before that where so cold that almost couldn't feel them.
Again running away for my life and going back to Yoongi, what a nightmare and actually this time I didn't seemed to be so scared, maybe because I wasn't scared of Lee, just was tired that things like this occur to me.
It was day time when I saw someone, it was a woman, probably an official but she was walking alone so that gave what to worry about, if she was part of any center for newcomers would be more people around so I stopped and tried to take a breath.
The trees here weren't that big so I got seated behind a rock, was so tired that my body trembled and probably will not be able to move until I get enough rest.
- have you gone crazy? What are you gonna say if the lieutenant discovers that you take a gin from the center? Come we have to be present on the next round or they will suspect about us - A man suddenly approached her
- could you talk with them? Why are they so slow to get the point we marked? - she said... so in the basement at least two of them are criminals
Tried to memorize the faces but she has a very common and would be difficult to be certain about her identity later... the clothes don't have a name or something I could use to distinguish them from any other soldiers.
It's true that since they kidnapped me we haven't stayed long on any of the hidden spots, the fire with so many people inside must have caused a big commotion too, but didn't know if they would continue looking for me with hopes of finding me alive... I tried to leave traces of me but I already lost the notion of time and don't know how long they got me rolling from one place to another.
Just know when is day or night thank to the sunlight, I tried to guide myself with the stars but actually, I don't know if I was doing anything straight because I don't know anything about the stars... Yoongi says that I don't have interest for anything because I don't deeply interested on anything, just certain amount of knowledge will suffice my curiosity and I will put my attention on another thing... specially him.
Yoongi.... my Yoongi.... I feel so tired... would do anything to have you here... I miss you so much, what are you doing love?
Are you waiting for me?
SUGA'S P/V:
- mmmh... I don't know how to say this hyung. I am not trying to create problems or anything... but you have to talk with JK, he is drinking too much and isn't advancing with his album... at this rate we would be lucky if he can release a single before he can't postpone the date of his service - Rm said to me and I didn't had an answer, I didn't knew what was Jk doing because have been a few since last time we were together. My phone rings
- sorry, just tell me... if you think I can help him, I will do anything - I said after cutting the call of my manager.
- I will be short, you are busy - our lider said.
- Have to go and choose my outfits for my tour... I have been delaying that... I am too maniatic to choose by myself, I don't know in which moment the only one I want to look good for is not even myself or my fans... just wanna hear again...
- what thing? Aish hyung you always make me burn to hear the gossips - RM admited
- my wife... last time... the most I cover myself, the dirtinest suggestions would leave her mouth about taking them off... I am even scared that I was the culprit she learned all that stuff, imagine my kids if that clean soul already knows how to have me on my knees for her... no... they will do whatever they want with me... I am a softy.
- I'm glad to see that smile and that you have found a way to not be depressed, I can't imagine how many worries you have... we all are learning from you, how powerful a good love can be - RM said
- ahh... sometimes is really difficult to get out of bed, or sleep or just enjoy my food, she must be in need meanwhile I can have whatever I may desire... even someone waiting for me in my bed. But I don't wanna be that kind of person... I imagine her coming back and still loving me, I don't have the heart to break the magic between us... I just can't.
- what if the trauma is so big that she, can't be the same girl, to give you the love from the past? - He asked
- ah... I truly try not think ahead, I know she is strong... I have been reading this and trying to prepare myself for the worst... even... I believe that wouldn't be able to live with myself if we don't end our relationship on good terms... well in case really I can't imagine how to be together forever, being lovers.
But you came to talk about Jungkook, tell me your concerns, maybe my new knowledge can serve of something today.
- I think he... Don't think that our baby has said anything, it's just my impression... I think that Jungkook like Jin is developing feeling for your wife that shouldn't exist. I think he might be noticed his own feelings for her because she is not there anymore... he acts like I you when you couldn't be together some years ago... you living i seoul and she in another city, you were so obsessed to be able to go there and make her yours... was kinda comic but she is not in a safe place able to take a call or do a videoconference to tame his demons, plus he knows that she would never stop loving you, Jin couldn't win her over even being so handsome and nice - Namjoonie explained
- I really was scared... you know that I am perfect to damage relationships around me... also couldn't say Jin to stop those feelings... because they are so beautiful... when you are in love... is the best feeling in the entire world. Nothing can compare and she always was the one choosing me over without hurting him. I put that responsibility on her hands and tried to understand him, I love her too, I'm glad that others would see what I see, instead... people always say the worst about her when they don't even take the time to see if she is a good girl or not.
- But Jin went crazy anyways, I don't want to see our youngest following his steps. Jin is very foolish sometimes but his true nature is different, he is a very capable man. He couldn't manage it without hurting himself... I can't see Jungkook doing or feeling so bad... I can't.
- Then why are you here, I'm Baika's husband... what are your thoughts... what do you want me to do.
- I don't know hyung... Tae-tae and Jungkook have been asking me weird stuff... about love... what shit do I know about love if I fuck anything that throws herself to my bed? Or any of us? You are the only one with a relationship that works and is beautiful.
- Haven't been a paradise, I have done enough for several lifes to pay for my issues but even if I think that I can do better nowadays, I don't have regrets that doesn't let me sleep.
- are you going to help me?- RM asked
- what exactly do want me to do? Because I suspect that my help and your idea of helping Jungkook is not the same
- Forvade him to try anything with her... or tell him the things he wouldn't like about Baika... I don't know. - He says walking around stressed
- Suga... oh, sorry, I will come around in... ten minutes? - my manager said and I nodded briefly.
- forget it - I sincerely said, I started the flame and did it on propose... I am not going to stop anything but I will help him if Jungkook let me... probably is not the case since he never tried to talk to me about my wife.
- why? - he asked on the berrge to get mad at me.
- Because he is not a child anymore and can see wrong from right perfectly well. I don't feel bad about it, I will not treat him as if I should have power over his persona or his life but will talk to him if you think that I can be of help.
- Tell me something... you knew it before I said a word? - Namjoonie wanted to know.
- More or less, Jin talked to me straight forward, about Jungkook can't be sure he... those words never left his lips so I am not going to imagine things... maybe that is not the case, maybe he is just worried about her... he knows from my wife her fears about being in danger again, Jungkook and Jin know that about her... I asked them to help me make feel safe because the notice of Lee hiding from justice and girls that demanded him desapearing, worried her.
- Though you wanted to hide that from her...- he didn't knows
- The police called when they confirmed Lee was the connection between some of the girls missing, the others seemed to end in a somewhat traffic of people to sell them as sexual... you know, something nasty.
- and he is related to those too? Because he is that kind of man, what he did was just as horrible. - probably he saw more than me to say that with that conviction.
- unfortunately yes... had found traces of those girls and Lee, Jenna and my wife in the same places they are investigating lately. I don't want to think about it because I don't know what I will do if they touch my wife against her volunteer...
- Bro... let's pray for the better... hopes Baika will return soon and in good health. - RM tried to comfort me
- Thanks... I have to go but will find time to talk with Jungkook, don't worry.
- Okay, I will try not to think everyone is going to fall for the little princess... Lily will come from overseas and cut my ... if I look in your wife's direction - he laughed shyly, Lily doesn't leaves his mind even if he is a player.
- you love to watch her ass as she walks, so is a little late to say that.
- hey, I have some morality left - he said.
- Baika never let her guard down around you, she appreciates you so don't take it to her if she did with some of the members a little... you have different ideas about life and love than her.
- she is too romantic about love.
- no, is the opposite actually... never believed in a happy forever, no matter what I will say or do. She always have in mind that at any given moment I will change my mind and use her love against her on my benefit... she is ready to be on the loss end because she doesn't have the will to abandon me unless I abuse her.
- you would ever...
- I'm not a Saint Namjoonie, or the vivid definition of perfection... I do what I can to not be scumbag in her life... that's all. I love her the best I can, don't pressure me to be example of anything.
- sorry hyung, I didn't...
- 걱정하지 마세요, 제가 정국이랑 얘기해 볼게요. 저한테 맡겨주세요.
진의 P/V:
- 저기... 야간 사격 훈련에 대해 들어봤어?
- 아니요, 낮에 그들이 그렇게 위험한 짓을 할 거라고 생각하는 것 자체가 위험합니다. 우리는 훈련받아야지 죽임을 당할 게 아닙니다.
잠자리에 들 준비를 하고 있을 때 룸메이트 몇 명이 화장실에서 이야기하는 소리가 들렸어요.
"- 병사 번호.... 김석진 님, 부디 참석해 주시기 바랍니다...."라고 방송 시스템에서 안내 방송이 나왔다. 나는 서둘러 그곳으로 향했고, 다행히 군복을 입고 있었다.
- "우리가 구조해야 할 여성의 사진을 보여주세요."라고 상사가 말했고, 나는 시키는 대로 했다.