The restaurant was quickly filled with laughter again.
The parents continued talking about something else as if nothing had happened.
But nothing reached my ears.
"Every time an exam ends, we argue about who is first in the whole school..."
That was the only thing that kept swirling around in my head.
I fiddled with the water glass for no reason.
Second year of high school.
That day came to mind.
-
Kim Yeo-ju.
The homeroom teacher pushed a report card in front of me.
I stared down at the score with a stiff face.
2nd in the whole school.
There were also only a few wrong answers.
A grade that others would consider quite good.
However, my gaze turned to the name at the very top.
Kim Do-hoon.
First place in the whole school.
also.
It was Kim Do-hoon.
The homeroom teacher glanced at me for a moment, then cautiously opened his mouth.
"Yeoju."
"yes."
"You're having a really hard time these days, aren't you?"
"...are you okay."
It was a lie.
It wasn't okay at all.
Every time the exam ends.
Every time a mock exam ends.
Being compared, too.
Also, that he is always right below Kim Do-hoon.
entire.
"May I make a suggestion?"
"..."
"Why don't you consider the humanities?"
I didn't say anything.
With your current grades, you can definitely get into the university you want even in the humanities.
"..."
The competition in the sciences is so fierce, you know.
"..."
"There is no need to go out of your way to take the hard path..."
I didn't listen anymore.
I heard exactly one sentence.
You can't beat Kim Do-hoon.
The teacher might not have meant it that way.
but.
That is how I heard it back then.
-
As I opened the door to the teachers' office and stepped out, I couldn't breathe.
Even with the hallway window open, it felt stifling.
I just wanted to go home.
I didn't want to meet anyone.
Yeoju.
...
Why of all things?
today.
When I turned around, Dohun was standing there holding a camera.
"Is it over?"
"...huh."
That's good.
Dohun held up the camera once.
It's a photography club assignment.
Because we are short one model.
"..."
"Can you take a picture for a moment?"
Normally, I would have been photographed without a word.
It has been like that since childhood.
More often since joining the photography club.
Dohun whenever the seasons change.
Whenever the festival is held.
When flowers bloom on the sports field.
He always took my photos.
Back then, I just thought it was a hassle.
"...no."
It'll be over soon.
I don't want to today.
"why?"
why?
I wonder if they are asking because they really don't know.
or not.
I wonder if they aren't interested.
Yeoju.
Dohun took a step closer and picked up the camera.
Just one.
That remark.
wonderfully.
I hated it so much.
You're always easy.
Studying, too.
Grades, too.
People's stares, too.
I couldn't beat you no matter how hard I tried.
"...I told you I didn't want to!"
I pushed Dohun's arm away.
moment.
The camera strap slipped from my hand.
Thump.
Click.
The camera fell on the hallway floor.
"..."
"..."
It felt like time had stopped.
There was a crack on one side of the lens.
I'm ruined.
Dohun slowly picked up the camera.
After looking around here and there.
He didn't even sigh.
He didn't even get angry.
He just looked at me.
"...sorry."
He barely managed to open his mouth.
Dohun was silent for a moment.
"...are you okay."
It just needs to be fixed.
"..."
"don't mind."
I actually felt more sorry for saying that.
I went down the stairs as if running away, unable to say a word.
-
Since that day.
For the first time.
We are no longer childhood friends.
At school, I only said what was necessary.
Even when we ran into each other in front of the house, we only exchanged greetings.
Even on graduation day.
We couldn't even say a word of congratulations to each other.
The person who has been closest to me for 20 years.
I ended up becoming the most awkward person.
-
"...Yeoju."
I came back to my senses at my mom's voice.
Why are you so spaced out?
"...It's nothing."
I forced a smile and picked up my spoon.
Dohun, who was sitting on the opposite side, also remained silent.
Normally, I would have at least played a prank.
Today, like me.
I was just quietly eating my meal.
As I watched that scene.
I suddenly had that thought.
if.
I wonder if Dohun remembers that day too.
