After the math trip, a subtle change occurred between Taesan and me.
Our eyes met more often than before,
If we happened to pass each other in the hallway, we would give a light nod or a faint smile.
I was excited and happy all day long just from that little smile.
Even among friends
Words like, "You guys are acting a little suspicious these days?" started going around. I waved my hand and denied it, but
I was so happy inside that I didn't know what to do. But I was also worried that Taesan might be uncomfortable if he heard this rumor.
On the one hand, I was excited because it seemed like our relationship had gotten a little closer.
One day, when my happiness circuit was in full swing, I was heading to the cafeteria with Unhak during lunchtime.
There were an unusually large number of children chattering in the hallway in front of the cafeteria.
I peeked my head out to see what was going on, and Taesan was standing there.
And next to him was a girl with a pretty face.
It was Lee Ye-jin, a second-year student in class 7 who had just transferred to the school.
She was a pretty girl who had already been the center of attention for all the boys in school less than a week after transferring.
I couldn't tell what Taesan and Yejin were talking about.
However, a bright smile bloomed on Yejin's face, and Taesan seemed to be smiling at her words as well.
My heart sank. Until now, I'd thought Taesan's smile was my only privilege.
No, not to the point of privilege,
At least, I thought that there was no one who could receive Taesan's bright smile so nonchalantly.
It was as if cracks were beginning to appear in my world. I couldn't even remember what I had for lunch that day.
All I did was stir the rice grains with my chopsticks.
Over the next few days, Taesan and Yejin were often seen together.
Yejin naturally approached Taesan as he passed by on his way home from school, in front of the library, and even in the hallway of our class.
I also saw the way they spoke. Taesan responded to Yejin's words with his usual indifferent expression,
The sight of her smiling or nodding at her words filled me with great anxiety.
Maybe Taesan really likes Yejin?
"Hey, Chae Ji-ah. Why are you so depressed these days?"
Unhak asked playfully, observing my expression.
I tried hard to pretend like nothing happened.
"No, I'm just a little tired."
But my friends seemed to have already noticed that my expression couldn't lie.
I couldn't concentrate during class, and I found myself looking at Taesan for no reason.
I was worried that Taesan's gaze might be directed towards Class 7 where Yejin was, and I became gloomy without realizing it.
In the end, I tried to ignore Taesan for several days.
Even though I could feel his gaze, I avoided it and pretended to be okay, giggling among my friends.
But the more I thought about it, the more my heart ached. I never thought my feelings could be so easily swayed.
I realized too late that my love for Taesan was much deeper than I thought.
My heart was already turned towards you,
Your attitude as if you didn't know anything, or as if it didn't matter even if you did, made me even sadder.
It seemed like nothing would be the same again.
Is this how my first love ends, before it even starts?
Unable to control my wavering heart, I tossed and turned in bed every night.
Like an idiot,