The monotonous, pale sound of dripping IV fluid filled my ears. I was already used to the pungent smell of disinfectant. The IV drip dripped uncontrollably, the white liquid symbolizing death filling the room, accompanied by sighs of despair.
I am not far from death.
I don't even know how long I've been lying in this hospital bed. Three years ago, in that accident, I bravely stepped forward to save a girl's life, but ended up in dire straits myself. Now, all I have left is this consciousness.
I long for death, I long to leave this wretched body, I long for the next life, but these are just thoughts. The only glimmer of hope for living is my beloved girl.
I miss her, whether it's a cold winter morning or a slightly lonely night, because her presence dispels the darkness with light.
Snowflakes danced and swirled in the air, desolate and bleak. The earth, having endured the harsh test of the cold wind, was finally draped in a white coat. Even the bare sycamore trees along the roadside were adorned with pure white. Before my eyes, crystal-clear snowflakes fell one by one, covering everything in a silvery white world, where all things were silent.
That year, the snow was exceptionally heavy. I bundled myself up tightly, my face, red from the cold, standing out starkly in the white snow. My hands could only be kept warm by the warmth of my breath. Looking into the distance, the car hadn't arrived yet, so I ducked into the coffee shop behind it and bought a caramel macchiato to warm myself.
Everything before my eyes was white, like paradise, giving me a sense of peace and tranquility. Taking a sip of coffee, my whole body felt warm.
Suddenly, a splash of blue appeared, and gradually, she, with an angelic face, appeared beside me like a mystery. She wore a sky-blue wool coat, my favorite color, and her long black hair was studded with snowflakes. She held a book in her hand; upon closer inspection, it was Jane Eyre, my favorite book.
She sat down not far from me, her slender, fair hands opening a book. Her eyes, sparkling like stars, were fixed on the book before her. For some reason, I felt a pang of envy for it.
Many of the waiting cars had already driven away. The bright red sun dyed the clouds around me crimson, and a few streaks of red clouds appeared in the sky, but I was completely unaware, just watching it.
She smiled, quite suddenly, as if a beautiful white rose had bloomed on her face. A smile that could launch a thousand ships, indeed. Her lips curved upwards, and she let out a soft, melodious laugh.
She walked straight towards me, lowering her head shyly, though I could still see her slightly flushed cheeks. When she was right in front of me, she suddenly stopped and extended her hand. I was completely flustered, standing there dumbfounded, unable to react.
Perhaps seeing how slow I was to react, she suddenly looked up and, as if mustering her courage, said to me:
"Byun Baekhyun, hello! Can we be friends?"
"OK"
Without hesitation, I agreed. The moment my hand touched hers, my heart burned with the warmth she radiated—this must be what they call love at first sight. It wasn't because of physical beauty; it felt like destiny, we just clicked.
The love of youth is the most beautiful.
Unfortunately, we were standing at the bus stop waiting for the last bus to approach. She was in a hurry and didn't notice the icy ground beneath her feet. She slipped and fell in the middle of the road. As the bus drew closer, I once again pushed her away without hesitation, sending myself into hell.
I didn't tell her I liked her until the very last second.
While I was still conscious, I only remember her kneeling before me, stroking my face. Tears welled in her eyes, but they couldn't conceal the tragedy. I couldn't hear what she was saying, only see her lips moving. I just realized, her lips are beautiful too, making me want to kiss them.
But it seems like it's all too late.
I didn't fly to heaven with the angels in white, nor did I fall into hell with the little devil in my heart. I survived, but I'm as if I'm dead—a living dead. Something has sealed me within this body. I struggled, but to no avail; this outer wall is indestructible.