Legilimency
A spell to read someone's mind
From a young age, I possessed a special ability to read other people's minds. Of course, that only happened through physical contact. When I was born, no one knew. As I grew old enough to think for myself, my mother took pains to keep this ability hidden.If you look at it, you sent me to a remote place with only a few people to hide this one thing.
I was only eighteen. I hadn't even graduated from high school yet... I wasn't entirely happy with this place I'd been suddenly sent to. I was dissatisfied with everything, and I couldn't help but resent the abilities I'd been given. Fortunately, even in this remote corner of the country, there was a high school. After transferring, I heard rumors that there were only seven students in the entire school.… shit.
Life being like this, I think about it every single day, without fail. At least for me, this ability is less special and more like a curse, something terrifying and terrifying. If being able to read everyone's pretense and lies was what made me special, then I absolutely didn't want to be special.
“Was it tomorrow…”
My mom, perhaps worried about her daughter living alone in such a remote place, found me a small house near the school. It had one bathroom, two bedrooms, and a separate kitchen and living room. It was a bit large for a single person, but it was cozy in its own way. Since we didn't have much else going on, I cooked some cup ramen I'd brought and laid out a thick blanket to sleep.
“As long as we don’t touch each other… it’ll be okay, right?”
I knew full well that reading someone's mind at an unexpected moment was quite sad and unfair. This ability made me distrust people and made me doubt all hearts.Even the kids who approached me, even the ones I thought were okay, could tell what they thought of me with just a slight touch. In the first place, I wasn't allowed to make friends or like someone normally like everyone else.
I stared at the dark ceiling, half fear, half excitement, and squeezed my eyes shut. I didn't want much. If I could just blend in with people and smile, if just one person among them truly liked me, that would be enough.
🫧
After putting on my new uniform and carrying my bag, my first steps into an unfamiliar place were beyond words. As soon as my feet touched the school gate, I sawI was briefly surprised to see the rather large main building beyond the wide dirt playground, but as I opened the door to the teachers' office and went in, a man who appeared to be a teacher smiled faintly.
“Are you the heroine?”
“Oh, yes…”
"It might be a bit uncomfortable coming from Seoul, but I'll get used to it. Do you happen to know about our school?"
“I only know that there are seven students in the school.”
"That's all I know! As you know, we're a small group, so there's only one class. And there aren't many teachers. I'm your homeroom teacher, so if anything comes up, just come to me, okay?"
My first impression of my homeroom teacher was that she seemed friendly, but I didn't think much of her. I was far more curious about the friends I would be spending time with than the teacher. After a brief introduction, my homeroom teacher led me to my classroom. I entered, barely holding back my pounding heart.
I was nervous. Seriously. The downside of having a small student body was the increased likelihood of them all sticking together. Naturally, there'd be no room for me to intervene. And if that happened, I'd be... ostracized...?! That was the one thing I absolutely couldn't do. Being forced to transfer was already painful enough, and now I'm being ostracized. I lowered my gaze to the floor and shook my head.
As I was trembling with anxiety, thinking of all sorts of things, I raised my head and looked straight ahead at the teacher's words, telling me to introduce myself.
"hello…"
I was speechless. I knew the student body was small, but no one told me it was all boys! Their eyes widened, and they couldn't hide their bewilderment. They hadn't expected a transfer student, let alone a girl.
“…Kim Yeo-ju. Please take care of me from now on.”
"Yeoju... I think you should sit in the middle over there. Let's just say today's class is you guys showing Yeoju around the school. The teacher will be in the teachers' office, so come see me if anything comes up-"
So, seven boys and I, the transfer student, were left in the class. What kind of teacher was that? The homeroom teacher was so bewilderingly self-indulgent, I could only stand by the desk and blink. I desperately wanted to run away, but I held back and went to the empty seat.
Since I happened to be sitting in the center, it felt like seven people were surrounding me. The awkwardness was so suffocating that I put my bag down and stood up. The seven of them, as if they were all in sync, were looking at me.
“Do you have anything to say to me…?”
"No, it's the first time a transfer student has come to our school. It's a bit strange."
“I’m curious too. I thought there would be at least one woman…”
"Well, what can we do? Let's just get along since things have turned out this way."
“Okay, that’s all good, but what are your names?”
Only then did it dawn on me. I'd told them my name because I was a transfer student, but they hadn't told me. They took turns telling me their names, and I nodded and smiled at them. Their names were Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, and Jeon Jungkook. They were all pretty names.
After the introductions, we all walked around the school together. The biggest system they explained was that each person took a club class of their choice one day a week, and the fall festival. I think they said it was festival season soon…?
Strangely, I wanted to be friends with them. I don't know why. Seeing them joking around and laughing brightly made me want to join them. Maybe I was just jealous of them.
🫧
After about ten days, I was able to talk to them comfortably. I, who was shy and afraid of people because of my beggarly abilities, found myself smiling broadly in front of them. I simply liked them, and I thought they were good people, so I let down the walls I'd built. But I hadn't realized that deep inside, I was still filled with doubt and fear.
It was only for a moment. I showed them my fear and raised my voice. I had my earphones in, so I couldn't hear Jeon Jungkook. He briefly placed a hand on my shoulder.
“Hey, let’s go eat.”
widely-!I swatted away Jeon Jungkook's hand that had touched my shoulder, and the noisy conversation about lunch menus suddenly quieted down. It was a mistake. I definitely didn't dislike Jeon Jungkook's touch. I was just... afraid I'd read his mind. I liked you guys, but I was afraid Jeon Jungkook's true feelings were telling me otherwise. I was afraid Jeon Jungkook would be no different from those old friends... I was scared.
“What? Jeon Jungkook, what did you do?”
“… Well. What did I do?”
“Hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”
I tugged at the cord. The earphones fell out of both my ears, and I stood up and backed away from the group of people gathered around me. Now, I was scared of everything.
"Kim Yeo-ju, what's going on? You look so unhappy."
Kim Namjoon, seeing my face turn pale, hardened his expression and strode closer. It was only a single step. He noticed that my body was trembling violently as he approached, frowning and blocking the others who were trying to approach me.
“Hey, do you want to go to the infirmary?”
“Hey, don’t go.”
“The child doesn’t look well. We should take him to the infirmary…!”
"The closer we get to him, the more he starts shaking."
Among them, Kim Namjoon, the most perceptive, held back Jung Ho-seok with one arm as he tried to approach me, keeping his gaze fixed on me. Everyone froze in place at Kim Namjoon's words, and I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath.
“Well, I have a hard time when I touch people… I’m sorry, I’m really sorry…”
I ran out of the classroom, practically running away through the front door. I wanted to tell them everything. But I wondered if anyone would believe such nonsense, and if they thought I was a witch... I'd be so upset. Then, a thought crossed my mind and I stopped running.ah…
“It’s already over.”
A hollow smile settled on my lips. Now that I'd shown myself to them like this, I felt I'd never be able to become close to them again. I knew exactly what they thought of me. Not only had I slapped Jeon Jungkook's hand away, I'd also become afraid of them. I'd even run away without a proper explanation.
They certainly wouldn't like me. Everyone I'd met felt the same way. Thinking they wouldn't be any different, I bit my lip and hated myself for being born this way.
“I don’t need this kind of ability… I hate myself for being so unusual…”
Tears streamed down my face. I felt pathetic, unable to even cry out loud, even at school. And even then, I worried that those seven might be hurt. I even considered returning to class, but lacking the confidence to face them, I made up an excuse about being sick and took an early leave of absence.
🫧
I don't want to go to school anymore. Just a few days ago, I thought it was better than Seoul, but now I've changed my mind.I wonder if it wouldn't be bad to go back like this...Wrapped tightly in a blanket, I muttered for a while before picking up my phone and calling my homeroom teacher.
It was a lie. Far from being sick, I felt fine. I hadn't eaten anything since I got home yesterday, so I was feeling a bit sluggish. Thinking I might go outside, I got up, put on a hoodie, and slipped on my slippers.
“If a remote place like this doesn’t work, where should I go now?”
I started walking along the bumpy dirt road, past the front yard, and before I knew it, I'd arrived at the pavilion next to the school. I hit my head with my fist, wondering why they'd come here of all places. But what could I do? It wasn't even lunchtime yet, and I knew I wouldn't run into them at this hour, so I leaned against the pavilion, feeling relieved.
I leaned against the tree trunk and hugged my knees. The clear weather, the cool breeze, the gentle scent of grass, and the tickling of beetles tickled my ears. I felt my complicated mind gradually calming down.
“…I should have read it at least once.”
My head cleared, my heart at ease, and I finally regretted yesterday's actions. Instead of snapping at myself for touching Jeon Jungkook, I should have read it at least once, even if it meant sending someone away, even if it meant being a little scared. My belief that they'd all be the same was too strong in my excitement.
As I sighed deeply, regretting having kicked them out, the school next door began to bustle. It had to be them. Did they have any PE or outdoor activities in class today? I pursed my lips, pondering for a moment before rising from the pavilion.Just take a peek and come, you know.
I walked carefully, trying to make as little noise as possible in my slippers that squeaked on the ground. I peeked my head out from behind the school gate and saw them wandering the playground, each holding an ice cream cone. I was dying to know what they were talking about to make such expressions. Just then, they were walking toward the gate, and I saw my chance to hide behind it and eavesdrop.
“Why didn’t Yeoju come today?”
“Is it because you got hurt because of us that you’re not coming?”
“I don’t know. By the way, he was really shaking yesterday… I’m worried.”
“Hey, then should we go to Yeoju later?”
"Oh~ Kim Taehyung~~"
“Ha, was it awesome? It was awesome!”
“What the hell. Aren’t you Kim Yeo-ju? Or even her phone number? How can you go there without knowing anything, X-shin-ah?”
“…Then what do I do?! I’m so worried about Kim Yeo-ju!!”
“Are you the only one worried? We’re worried too.”
“We know so little about Kim Yeo-ju.”
"It's only natural, since we haven't seen each other for very long. We'll just have to get closer to the heroine in the future."
I almost burst into tears. I thought they'd figure it out on their own without me. I thought they'd go back to how they were before I transferred, laughing and chatting amongst themselves. But my expectations were completely wrong. Even if those worries were false, I'd never felt my friends worry in my life. I covered my mouth with both hands and sobbed.
“Really… annoying, huh-.”
I clutched my hoodie, already soaked with tears. The gray color made the tear stains all too visible, but that didn't matter to me right now. I wiped my eyes with my arm, my eyes bloodshot, and crossed the school gate to stand before them.
The seven, perhaps unaware I'd suddenly appear in this outfit, immediately ran towards me with wide eyes. Remembering my words yesterday about how uncomfortable physical contact would be, they only expressed concern and tried to avoid touching me.
“Guys, can I hug you guys just once…?”
I could see their confusion. After all, just yesterday, the child who'd run away in fear at a single touch suddenly asked if I could hug her. Even I would have felt bewildered and strange. But I wanted to confirm something with them, and if my choice caused a thorn in my heart, I would bear the full brunt of the pain.
I'm still scared. I'm still afraid. What if they're just pretending, what if they harbor other intentions? I... Anxious, I hugged them one by one. My body trembled, my eyes tightly shut.
… I was wrong. I was wrong.After hearing the sincerity of all seven, I bowed my head and shook my shoulders. The tears that fell from my eyes left circular marks on the dirt playground, and I sobbed.
“I, am… I, am… I’m sorry, I, am… I, am, you…”
“What are you sorry about, heroine?”
“Yeah. What did you do to us, huh?”
“I, was, mean to, you, my, heart… I, wouldn’t….”
They'll never understand why I'm crying so hard. I possess a power they don't, a curse they don't possess, so only I know why I'm sobbing so hard I could barely contain myself.
The moment I held them, I heard a similar, yet different, feeling in my ear: worry, panic, and a slight tremor. For the first time in my life, I was reading such pure feelings, and my heart raced. They were the ones who, for me, made me love for the first time the ability I had longed to discard, the ability that had felt like a curse.
Please be informed that the above text was written in CALLIOPE CM.
