Ep. My summer was always you - Hello, my long-time first love

A long time, whether long or short, has passed and we
I finally turned 24. It's already been 5 years since I last saw Choi Beom-gyu.
I can't completely forget it, and I think about it sometimes, but I live without really caring about it. When I first transferred schools, I was going crazy.
I missed you, but as time goes by, things are getting better.

Today, I finished my homework early and went out with my friends for the first time in a while.
I'm about to go out for a drink. I'm going to relieve some stress and catch up on stories. I've already gone to the bar, reserved a seat, and am waiting. It's already bustling with people coming in for drinks. What are they doing here?

Ding-

The door opens and the heroine's friends are smiling and the heroine is there.
I sat down naturally. Maybe it was because I hadn't seen him in a long time, but
It was nice to meet you.

"Hey~ How much is this?"

"Haha, how have you all been?"

"Sigh, what can I say~ The professor just gave me homework
Will it be there.. "

They started talking about various things and asking about each other's well-being.
While we were laughing and chatting, concentrating on the conversation, I felt thirsty and grabbed a cup to drink some water. However, it was slippery and fell, spilling water all over my clothes. Fortunately, it wasn't glass, so no one broke or got hurt. However, the wetness on my clothes made me feel uneasy, so I said I needed to use the bathroom and quickly left.

I scrubbed my clothes with toilet paper in the bathroom, trying to wipe the water off, but the water was still there. Even though it was summer, my clothes were thin and I felt uncomfortable, so I didn't think I could go out like this. But since it was a long time since we were all gathered together, I thought it would be a shame to leave just because of something like this, so I just washed the water.
I left the bathroom with the thought that it would dry if I stayed.

Even after coming out of the bathroom, I was still concerned about my clothes being wet, so I was rubbing them with my hand when my eyes met with a man sitting at the end table. He had black hair, was tall, and was handsome. The eye contact with the man lasted longer than I expected for a few seconds. The long eye contact made the female protagonist come to her senses and look away first. .. He looks like Choi Beom-gyu.

The man truly resembled Choi Beom-gyu in many ways, and that's why Yeo-ju was the first to turn her gaze. Thinking it was just a fleeting encounter, she was about to return to her friends' seats when the man she'd just met gently grabbed her wrist. Startled by the sudden touch, she turned around, only to find a familiar face staring back at her.

"Choi Beom-gyu..?"

"It's been a while, Seo Yeo-ju."

It was Choi Beomgyu. Choi Beomgyu, whom I hadn't seen in a long time, seemed to have changed a lot. What should I say? It was a unique dark feeling, in contrast to the bright atmosphere of his school days? He seemed to have grown a bit taller, his voice sounded low and deep, and although he was handsome back then, he seemed to have become even more handsome?

That's when Beomgyu called Yeoju. Yeoju flinched for a moment at the drastically changed atmosphere, but he tried to speak in a calm voice.

".. Long time no see. Choi Beomgyu"

"How have you been?"

"I'm doing okay, how about you?"

"I didn't do well."

" uh? "

What the hell is this? Why are you saying you're not doing well?
Rather, wasn't I the one who should have been doing worse? I tilted my head in confusion, but what was even stranger was that Choi Beom-gyu's voice was trembling slightly. It was nothing.
Even though I pretended, I could hear my voice shaking slightly.

I saw Choi Beom-gyu opening his mouth as if he had something to say.
I took him out. Of course, I told my friends that I couldn't drink with them today.

Choi Beom-gyu and Yeo-ju walked the streets at night in silence. The distinct smell of summer wafted in. Memories of a midsummer night. Memories of that time began to creep back. After walking for a while, Yeo-ju spoke first.

"The world is so small ~ How did we meet here?"

" .. That's right, it's really narrow "

After a moment of hesitation, Choi Beom-gyu naturally spoke. "I hope what you're saying isn't about that time. I wish you'd just asked, 'What's going on here?'" But as expected, his expectations didn't shine.

"..do you still like me?"

".. No, right now I wish I could meet someone who loves me, not someone I love unilaterally."

" .. okay "

Beomgyu gazed up at the sky, a bitter smile on his face. The atmosphere was awkward, yet mysterious. Even though it was awkward, it felt somehow comfortable. "Yeoju, I still like you. I shouldn't feel this way after hurting you so much, but I can't give up no matter how much I try. What should I do, Yeoju?"
Even if I don't feel like it, can't you at least give me a chance to approach you? I really don't think I can live without you.

Tears welled up in my eyes. I felt like I was leaving you behind.
I wonder if you, looking at me, felt this way too. I regret all my actions and words to you, the memories of summer.

".. They laughed and played a lot. It was nice to see, but on the other hand, it was heartbreaking.. Well, that's all."

" .. I'm feeling a little better now. .. I don't need to be in pain all the time
"No. You didn't care when I was hurt, but now that you're not interested, you're bringing up old feelings and trying to hurt me?

"..Why do you say that?"

"The kid who always says he likes me and asks me to look after him is like this
I'm so embarrassed I could die. I'm so crazy in love that I can't even see myself and only see you, so I feel like a fucking idiot."

".. I'm sorry about that time, I regret it a lot."

Suddenly, I was overcome with emotion and sweared without even realizing what I was saying. I hated and was so angry at myself back then. You didn't respond to my confession, but even that was because I loved the summer I spent with you. It was all in the past, and I didn't blame you.
Sam took out his anger on Beomgyu, who didn't exist. But when I saw you say you regretted it and apologized for it, all my resentment seemed to disappear. You and I... we're still the same.

".. I'm sorry about earlier. I was just overcome with emotion at the moment."

"It's okay, I would have done the same thing."

" uh? "

"I also resent myself back then, a lot."

On this night, the stars in the sky seemed ready to pour down at any moment. A hazy, inexplicable emotion began to bloom within my heart. Perhaps it wasn't an unknown emotion, but one I already knew.

"You know, the bus stopped running a while ago so we had to walk. What?
"It was a park near the art museum. Do you remember when I briefly held your hand?"

"Was that so?"

"Did you really know, or were you just pretending to know? You don't remember? No, are you still pretending not to remember?"

"Why is that?"

"If I hadn't let go of your hand back then, would we have been better off than before?"

I hope you're happy. I hope you'll stay smiling and bright like you are now. But there's also a lot of pain that follows.
I want you to know that happiness isn't easy. I want you to know that happiness isn't easy.

And when you realize it all, grow, and mature, then let's meet again. This is just my greed, but please close your eyes just this once. Let's meet again when we're both happy. So when that time comes, look into the love I've always had for you. You have no idea how much I loved and missed you. Even I can't fathom the depth of my heart.

I loved you, and I will love you. I will miss you. And, I dare to wish you happiness. My love is poison to both you and me. It's so sad. God is so cruel. I love you.
Let me whisper it again. Sorry.

But my summer was always you.