[Note]
The diseases featured in this work are fictional and do not actually exist.
Please note that this has nothing to do with actual medicine.
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Do people know?
That hopeless despair of someone with an incurable illness...
The "hopeless disease" I'm talking about is
The disease is called "Slok."
Slowly and surely, it drives people into darkness,
In the end, he dies in a horrible manner.
The disease affects 1% of the population.
That's one in every 100 people.
But what's even more cruel is that
This disease only affects neonates, that is, newborn babies.
Among the countless babies,
Why me of all people?
My parents didn't abandon me.
Thanks to that, I was given the chance to live.
But I think that opportunity
To be honest, I didn't like it.
Although I was originally a shy person,
Because of this illness, I have become increasingly silent in my life.
Six years of elementary school
I never met anyone I could call my "best friend."
"Mom... I don't want to go to school..."
"Huh? Why? Is someone bullying you?"
"...No."
It would have been better if I had been bullied.
That's still a more convincing reason for not wanting to go to school.
Just because I don't have any friends...
I can't tell anyone such a pathetic reason.
My mother is busy with work,
There wasn't much time for them to listen carefully to what I had to say.
Still, my parents were my only hope.
Although there were people I could rely on,
There was never anyone next to me.
A life without a shred of hope.
That's why I wish depression had come sooner.
--No, he may have already arrived.
I was so pressed for time that I didn't even notice it.
Taking medicine blindly,
Driven by the anxiety that "I don't have much time left,"
What on earth was I living for?
There's no one to contact.
Staring at the XTalk screen, I finally realized.
I'm... trash.
This is what a lonely social life taught me.
I was a hopelessly useless person.
And now――
24 years old.
At this age when I should be blooming like a flower,
I... quietly withered away like a flower.
(one)
Is it because of the sudden cold weather?
Or perhaps it's more due to cold interpersonal relationships.
My immune system just can't stand it anymore
It fell like dominoes.
That, to me...
It was a chance and an end.
"Mr. Gil Ah-won, please come to the examination room."
"……yes"
My voice echoed in the silent hospital.
"You're here again? Have you been feeling unwell lately?"
"Yeah, it seems like he's been getting sick a lot since it got cold..."
This year, we once again lost to the weather.
The hateful weather that keeps haunting me every time it changes.
Around this time last year...
"Patient, please wear warm clothes.
Please take your medicine properly so that you don't damage your health even more."
And now――
"Shall we do a thorough check today?"
"Yes, please."
The doctor, who knew about my illness, looked worried and said:
I change into my examination clothes and return to the impersonal examination room.
The examination began.
I've been going to this hospital for years now.
Because of my serious, incurable illness, I always get quick results.
The doctor stared intently at the screen,
There was silence for a while.
Sensing this, I too began to prepare myself mentally.
"...Umm, Gil-san. I'm sorry, but it seems like it's about time... you prepared yourself."
--Maybe it was a good thing.
A "chance" to leave this world, which is more hellish than hell.
"We have been predicting this since last year, but the situation has gotten much worse."
"...How much longer?"
"At most, a year, and at the shortest... six months, I guess."
I thought I was prepared.
But still... when faced with reality,
My heart couldn't keep up.
I really should have hated this world.
...Maybe I still had regrets.
"...There's no hope for us now, right?"
The doctor just nodded silently.
"Thank you very much... Excuse me."
I had always imagined being told I had only a few days left to live.
It was much lighter than I had imagined.
With just one word,
The curtain has fallen on my life.
"...Mom, I'll be there soon."
Why is that?
Today more than ever, I remembered my parents, who passed away two years ago.