Most of the students were gathered in the Great Hall, diligently studying for the upcoming exams. But there were always those who didn't. I was just wandering around, keeping an eye out for anyone who was talking. There were some third-year Slytherin students who seemed to have given up on their studies, and that's where the trouble began. One of them knew I was wandering around, but he kept making strange remarks about me. No matter how many of them there were, I just gave them demerits out of deference, thinking, "What can I do?" The problem was, they kept trying to cross the line.
"Ugh, seriously. I don't know how Park Woojin got his professorship, but the quality of his classes is seriously low. My dad would be shocked if he found out I was taking classes like this in school."
"Huh. I don't think there's any class as difficult as Potions. Are you ignoring the Potions Master right now? And he's our dorm head."
“What do you like about Asians right now...”
The kids next to me were even saying that I was a potions master and that the level of difficulty in my classes was too high, but that one boy was openly blatantly saying that he hated me. But I have to get over it here: I hate him too. His father was a famous potions book author. Fame, or not, isn't everything. In my opinion, his books were terrible. How could someone like him, a human son, be a potions master like me?
“Why is it that a real Asian person comes to our school and makes a fuss... If it were me, I would be embarrassed and not be able to hold my head up.”
“If I were as stupid as you, I would be embarrassed and not be able to hold my head up.”
“What? No, Professor...!”
“Slytherin, 10 points.”
There's such a thing as fame, you know, the Slytherin guy who gets penalized for it. He looked at me with a hint of resentment, but I just roughly hit him on the head with the wad of paper I was holding and walked away.
That day, for some reason, my body wouldn't move as it should, and my head was pounding. Even during class, I broke out in a cold sweat, and my hands trembled, as if I suddenly had a strange tremor. I continued to roughly shake my hands and waited for the class to end. After a few hours, I sat down in my chair, confirmed that the last class was over, and closed my eyes briefly.
Knock knock—even the knock, which would normally have been quiet, felt loud that day. I washed my face dry and opened the door. Malfoy was standing outside.
“What’s going on?”
"Well, the professor didn't come down to the banquet hall. I came to see what was going on."
I turned my head and looked at the clock on the wall. It was already about 30 minutes past dinner time.
“I’ll go soon. I’ll go first.”
“Excuse me, Professor! Regarding the Quidditch players I mentioned earlier... I'd like to hear your answer.”
I quickly tried to close the door, but Malfoy held it shut and brought up Quidditch. Damn it, I hadn't even thought to mention it. I started racking my brain.
"I think Mr. Malfoy knows very well that Quidditch is an extremely dangerous sport. Lucius would be devastated if he found out."
“I’ll convince my dad, so…please let me do it.”
"I don't want my beloved student to be put in danger. You're still young. I'd like to ask if you'd like to apply formally next year."
Malfoy nodded quietly and went up to the banquet hall. I breathed a deep sigh of relief, covered my face with my large hands, and sat down.
I didn't want to go, so I sat at my desk and wrote a brief letter to Professor Dumbledore, complaining of my illness. I then sent it by owl. I went to the window to close the curtains and go to sleep. Outside, the moon and stars shone brightly in the darkness, like spring.
Before I knew it, tears welled up in my eyes. When I wondered why I was like this, I was sobbing so hard that I couldn't breathe, covering my face with my hands. I roughly wiped away the tears and opened the desk drawer and took out a box cutter. I hesitated for a moment, looking at the wrist that I had damaged by cutting it myself over ten years ago. Now, I wanted it to be less painful, so I cut it again. Then I immediately threw the box cutter on the floor and went to lie down on the bed.
When I opened my eyes, I found myself in a place that felt somehow familiar, yet I couldn't quite place it. I looked around, and right in front of me stood Bomi. It was then that I thought, "This is a dream after all."
"Sev, why are you here now? I've been waiting for you for so long..."
“Sorry, it was because of some idiots over there.”
Bomi frowned slightly at her past self, and I immediately apologized. Bomi immediately chuckled and patted my head.
“So, what should I say when I see your face?”
"...uh?"
“You’ve been avoiding me for a few days, but you suddenly told me you wanted to see me and tell me something. What is it?”
“Oh, that’s...”
I hesitated. Even if I were to go and tell her, assuming Bomi was still alive and unmarried, I'd definitely hear something like this. The only thing that's changed since then is that Bomi isn't by my side. That's the only thing.
Like an idiot. Just say it, say it quickly. Every second felt like a minute. As time passed, my anxiety only grew. I wish I could say it, even in my dreams.
"I have to go to the library with my friends soon. You said it was only a five-minute walk, so we met up... But you're late, standing there without saying a word. Does that mean I can just go?"
“No... no, sorry for taking your time. Bye.”
"you also."

I actually liked you. Even before you entered Hogwarts. I dare say I like you because you've gotten along well with someone like me. I don't know how you feel about what I'm saying now, or how you've thought of me all this time, but you were the only one for me. Because of your beautiful smile, because of your kind heart, the first time you treated me like a human being, every moment I spent with you was happy.
I know it's so sudden, and I know you only think of me as a friend. I've been thinking about getting my act together on my own, but when the Gryffindors bully me, you come and help me. How could I stop liking you?
I don't even dream of dating you. I just wanted to tell you, Bom, at least once. I love you, and I'm sorry. I'm so selfish.
It took me forever to even say this. Of course, I'm not saying it to you directly, I'm just looking at you and muttering to myself. Bom, how are things going with Ga-eul there? I just want you to be happy. If Ga-eul doesn't listen to you and is causing you trouble, tell me. I'll comfort you. I love you, Bom.
I stared at the path Bom had taken for a long time. I don't know why, but after a while, tears began to flow involuntarily. It wasn't from sadness, but rather from joy, from happiness.
“Sneevely!”
I turned around hastily. There was Igaeul pointing her wand at me, Sirius giggling childishly, egging her on, and the kids taunting me. I frowned involuntarily and pulled out my wand.
“Expelliarmus!”
The wand in my hand flew into the distance. I sighed deeply and glared at Lee Ga-eul. "Pathetic," Sirius said, then took out his wand and began to mock me.
“Snivellus, Diffindo!”
Sirius chanted a spell in my face. I quickly covered my face with my arms. The spell left a mark on my arm, and blood dripped from it. The sight of blood made me feel sick. No one asked me if I was okay. Instead, they laughed and encouraged me to do more.
“Scozy Pie!”
“Stop it, bro!”
Pink foam flowed from my mouth, and I gasped. Regulus stopped Sirius and helped me up.
“Senior, come in.”
“...Thank you, Black.”
Regulus is Sirius's younger brother, and he also lives next door to me. We're not that close, but he's just someone who comes and helps whenever Sirius casts a spell on me. He's bigger than me, smarter, and more popular, so I've never helped him before, so I feel a bit indebted to him. It also feels like I'm needlessly driving a wedge between the Black brothers. I don't feel bad for Sirius, though.