It had been a week since we started dating.
I still felt a little awkward about the fact that I was dating Wonbin.
Especially at school, it was even worse.
When it was just the two of us, we could casually hold hands, and if Wonbin said he missed me, I could laugh and play along—but when we ran into each other at school, I’d end up glancing around for no reason.
In the end, one day after class, I said to Wonbin.
"Bin."
"Yes."
"How about we keep this a secret?"
Wonbin’s expression stiffened slightly.
"Why?"
"We’re in the same department."
"What’s that got to do with it?"
"I just don’t want rumors spreading for no reason... and you’re really famous."
Wonbin was silent for a moment.
"If you don’t like it, I won’t hold your hand."
"It’s not that I don’t like it."
"Then what is it?"
"I’m just still a little embarrassed."
Only then did Wonbin let out a small laugh.
"Okay."
"Are you really okay with that?"
"Yes."
He answered like that, but somehow he still looked a little sulky.
It was on my mind, but I thought he’d get over it soon enough.
*
But it was more serious than I’d expected.
The next day at school, Wonbin came up beside me.
"Noona, after class today—"
"Oh? I have plans with a friend."
I cut him off in a hurry, and Wonbin closed his mouth.
"Ah."
"Sorry."
"It’s okay."
But Wonbin really didn’t look okay at all.
I felt bad for no reason, but my friends were next to me, so I couldn’t talk to him any more.
*
That evening.
누나, what are you doing?
At home~
I’m working on an assignment.
That sounds tough. Fighting!
Yes.
The conversation ended faster than usual.
I put down my phone, thought for a long time, then sent another message.
Are you in a bad mood because of me today?
After a while, a reply came back.
No.
Liar.
A little later.
A little.
I ended up laughing.
What are you so upset about?
A moment later, Wonbin called me.
"Why did you call?"
"I thought it’d be better to say it out loud."
"So?"
"I’m a little hurt."
His voice was quieter than usual.
"You’re dating me, but at school you keep acting like you don’t know me."
"That’s..."
"I know. It’s not because you don’t like me."
Silence fell for a moment.
"But I’m dating you because I like you."
At those words, my heart stung for no good reason.
"I’m sorry."
"It’s okay."
"No. I’m really sorry."
"Then..."
Wonbin thought for a moment before speaking.
"Outside of school, can you act a little more like my boyfriend?"
"For example?"
"Holding hands."
"We’re already doing that."
"Longer."
I couldn’t hold back a laugh.
"You’re really cute."
"I’m not cute."
"You are, though."
"I’m your boyfriend."
"I know. I said I was sorry, didn’t I?"
"Then let’s meet tomorrow."
"Why?"
"Because I want to see you."
*
The next day after class, we met at a café a little ways away from school.
As soon as we sat down by the window where there weren’t many people, Wonbin grabbed my hand as if he’d been waiting for it.
"Is it okay now?"
"Yes."
"Really?"
"Yes."
But just holding hands made Wonbin keep smiling.
"Why are you smiling?"
"Because I’m happy."
"About what?"
"About holding your hand, noona."
I turned my gaze away, suddenly embarrassed.
Wonbin gently rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb.
"Noona."
"Hmm?"
"We are dating, right?"
"You have to ask again?"
"I’m checking because I’m happy."
"Yes."
"Then that’s enough."
*
We stayed at the café for a long while, then went outside.
Even on the way to my place, Wonbin didn’t let go of my hand.
It wasn’t until we reached the front door that I tried to pull my hand away first.
Then Wonbin gently caught my fingertips.
"Can’t you stay a little longer?"
I looked at Wonbin.
"Why?"
"Because I don’t want to say goodbye today."
If it had been when we first met, I never would have imagined he’d say something like that.
In the end, I smiled and took Wonbin’s hand again.
"Then a little longer."
Wonbin smiled too.
Secret dating wasn’t as bad as I’d thought.
At least when it was just the two of us like this, we could like each other without worrying about anyone else’s eyes.
And I still didn’t know.
That this secret wouldn’t last as long as I thought.
