“If you were going to listen to the heroine, why did you ask us?”
Contrary to the content of Seungkwan's words, his intonation was remarkably calm. He seemed to have no complaints, and instead, he smiled with satisfaction.
“I was just asking out of courtesy.”
Jihoon answers stiffly. Next to him, Soonyoung grumbles.
“If that’s the case, why don’t you just ask…”
What I wanted to eat was the common people's food: kalguksu (knife-cut noodles). But before I came here, I wasn't even a commoner, so it was a special dish to me. I fiddled with my chopsticks. I can still vividly remember Yena's face.
“Did you always like this kind of thing?”
Min-gyu oppa asks me. I don't know what the concept is for today, but I don't think it's completely against his personality. It just suits him so well.
“I remember eating it with the kids and it was really delicious.
Oh, of course, with the orphanage kids.
“That was when I was in the 5th grade of elementary school.”
“I see. Was it delicious?”
“Yeah, it was really delicious. It was called Yena Unnie.
“That older sister saved up money and came to her high school graduation ceremony.”
I think it's appropriate to use the word "jonna" now, but I didn't want to use the word "swear" for something like this.
“It must have been a delicious restaurant.”
Hansol nodded slightly at his brother's words. His black hair, tied high in a ponytail, gently brushed against my neck. He had this hair that day, too.
“That was there too…”
If you asked me if I felt anything, my answer would be no. But if you asked if that made things difficult, my answer would also be no. It was completely okay. I didn't know where the older sister, whose face and name I knew only, lived, or how she lived, and she wasn't particularly close to me.
But I didn't want to tell the members, fearing they'd worry. I wanted them to know that what I was talking about was just a slightly unfortunate past I'd overcome.
“Yeah, you can keep talking.”
It was Jeonghan, my older brother. The one who pulled me out of that hell, the kind person who thought of me endlessly, beyond description.
“…I knew all too well what graduating from high school meant. My friends didn't…
Graduating from high school meant becoming an adult.
I cried at the thought of not being able to see my sister anymore.
“I just…cried and cried.”
“You must have been upset… Were you close with that older sister?”
Chan-i asked. He was my friend, but he was my person before he was my friend. Unlike the other members, he was concerned about me from a friend's perspective.
“No, we weren’t particularly close… but I liked him.
Because she was my only high school sister.
Now that I think about it, I understand why it was the only one.”
Because the violence was collective. I don't know how she survived. How could she survive in that hellish place until she became an adult? It's a question I'll probably never be able to answer. It's impossible for me.
“Where did you go to get such delicious food?”
As expected, Jeonghan is my older brother. I sensed he didn't want to talk anymore, or more accurately, he didn't want the members to worry about me. I could talk with a smile now, so I didn't need any pity.
“Where did you go?”
Then, Shua oppa naturally changes the mood. I smile and say thank you.
"here."
“Oh, then this must be really delicious.”
Chani swallowed. I thought celebrities wouldn't eat this kind of thing, but it was just a prejudice. Of all the members, Chani really liked it the most.
“Yeah, that’s why I asked you to come here.
Despite the length being complicated…
"I can look forward to it. If it's the restaurant Jang Yeo-ju said was delicious..."
“Um… I heard they all taste good?”
Seungkwan and Hansol were talking. I chuckled. My appetite isn't that great. But the place my brothers took me to was a famous restaurant, so it was bound to be delicious.
The 14 bowls of kalguksu we ordered arrived, and the steaming bowls before us looked delicious. I already knew this was going to be delicious.
"thank you for this food."
I'm so glad I'm not eating tear-soaked kalguksu today. This moment of feeling a little more like myself makes me happy, regardless of the food.
“Yeah, if you want to eat more, order it.
Okay? I won't steal it, so eat slowly."
"yes~!"
Seungcheol, the calculator of the day, speaks. I'm just grateful to him.
“Brother, I~”
Jihoon asks playfully. Seungcheol is firm.
"no."
"okay"
“Ugh, why are you so cool? I was going to buy it for you if you wanted it.”
“I can just buy it with my own money.
“I probably have more money than my brother.”
I spoke to Min-gyu, who was inhaling the kalguksu while admitting it to himself.
“Min-gyu, how does it taste?”
I call him oppa in my heart, but it's not easy to say the word oppa.
"You're so used to speaking informally, aren't you? I'm your older brother."
“Seventeen seems to be in that mood too. Does that bother you?”
“Yeah, I care.
Other kids also omit the title of hyung when calling me that.
“Can you please call me?”
“Oppa… feels more like a friend than an oppa.
When I think about it, I call him oppa…
When I thought of him, he seemed like a reliable, dependable presence, and I had a strong feeling of him as my older brother, but that wasn't the case. In reality, he felt more like a friend, and thanks to that, I preferred being called "Min-gyu" to "Min-gyu oppa." I liked Min-gyu oppa as my older brother, but I also liked him as a friend.
“Which do you like best: younger, same-age, or older?”
The question of my ideal type suddenly popped up. Just a few months ago, I was an orphan with no future. Now, someone was asking me about my ideal type. And I had the leisure to think about it. I became that kind of person. Thanks to those who asked about my ideal type.
“Except for younger people… I don’t want to hear you call me older sister.”
I chuckle slightly at the end. Since none of the members are younger than me, I'm glad I don't have to call them "older sister." The reason I dislike being called "older sister" goes back to my childhood. All my brothers were younger than me, and so the people I was responsible for caring for called me "older sister." Ultimately, I didn't like babies very much. I don't know why. I can only assume it's because they made my life disappear.
“What is tsundere?”
Wonwoo asked. Is he asking that because he's a tsundere?
“I like affectionate people. I like people who express themselves well.
“Because I… couldn’t live like that.”
“Are you saying you don’t like it?”
Wonwoo oppa had a rather worried look in his eyes. I couldn't tell if his worry was due to how he viewed me.
“No, I do like it, but…”
I didn't know how to end my sentence, so I just trailed off, but Shua oppa helped me.
“I recorded it the other day when I went to buy a school uniform.”
“Yeah, I knew you were a good singer back then.”
Wonwoo oppa answers. Then Jihoon oppa continues the conversation.
“I took Yeoju’s side a bit back then, and she said she was thrilled.”
The fact that he used the expression "thrilled" so casually made Jihoon seem different from me. I only used the expression "thrilled" when I was truly excited.
“Um… That’s right. That’s right, but why are you talking about my ideal type?”
Min-gyu oppa stared at me intently. And for some reason, I could hear his inner voice. He said, "You're so clueless." Of course, I didn't know if he really thought that. He just sensed it.
“Isn’t that just talk?
“If you go to college, you’ll probably get a boyfriend too, right?”
“Well… can I get a boyfriend?”
At the end of the sentence, I swallowed the words, "Because of my brothers." I thought no one would object since I had no family. Oh, I hadn't even thought about a boyfriend before. But now it was different. Thirteen people felt like my real brothers, like my parents. So, there were thirteen people who would object.
Although I was happy to be loved, Jun-hwi's words made me worry. Could I really date a boyfriend? Would he be okay?
“I think we’ll 100% date?”
I don't know why Seungkwan says that. I don't think it's because I'm pretty or attractive or anything.
“Um… really?”
“Oh, I think I could date you too?”
“I think my brothers should allow me to have a boyfriend before that.”
Hansol refuted his brother's words. Then Seungcheol laughed.
“If your boyfriend is a good guy, I’ll accept him.”
I thought to myself as I ate the remaining kalguksu.
‘I see. I think anyone would hate it.’
