Love TemperingLove Tempering
"Hey lady!!"
"Seokjin oppa~~~"
On the day I finally returned to Korea, I ran to Seokjin oppa who was waiting for me at the departure lounge and hugged him.
We were CC seniors and juniors in the same department, and we were always together from class to lunch and dinner before I left. However, the more I studied, the more I felt that it wasn't my path, and as I loved sweet chocolate, I decided to pursue the path of a chocolatier. Seokjin-oppa passionately supported me, and with his support, I quit school and enrolled in a chocolatier course. I also passed the French chocolatier training course and went on to receive training.
It's been a year and a half since I left for overseas training, and long-distance relationships have been incredibly difficult. Every time I missed Seokjin, I dedicated myself even more diligently to my training as a chocolatier. Thanks to this, I was able to complete my two-year training program in just a year and a half. Furthermore, I was able to immediately decide on a job after returning to Korea.
"Welcome~ You've worked hard."
The guy I met at the airport was still so affectionate. I was so happy and glad to see him pat my shoulder after I hugged him.
. . .
The first thing you learn about chocolate is tempering. This process involves raising the temperature to a certain level and then cooling it repeatedly to ensure that the various ingredients in the chocolate blend well together.
Tempering is a basic yet delicate process. If the temperature is raised too high, the chocolate may burn, and if it is not raised properly, a white oily layer may form after it hardens.
When I was tempering, I felt good watching the chocolate, which was soaking wet, become warm and cool repeatedly, and become more and more glossy. I thought this process was like our love.
I believed that our love would also go through a process of melting and blending together better and strengthening our trust in each other while going through appropriate crises, such as studying abroad, within appropriate boundaries.
. . .
Starting with Pepero Day in November, I had a very busy schedule leading up to Christmas. I was exhausted and missed Seokjin so much. So I forced myself to make a date to meet him, but I ended up working overtime, so he had to wait for about an hour.
They said they'd come out as early as possible... ㅜㅠ
The place I decided to meet Seokjin oppa was a meat restaurant near my workplace.
"Sorry I'm late~~~~
I tried to finish as much as possible,
Suddenly orders increased.. ㅜㅠ"
"It's okay.. I have time to spare so I'll just wait~"
Seokjin sighed deeply, then called over the waiter and asked him to replace the charcoal that had turned white while he waited for me. Then he quickly placed the meat on the grill and, as always, began grilling it deliciously.
"Really, is this okay..?"
"Then... come and sit down..."
After working for a long time standing up to get out quickly, I filled my hungry stomach by eating the meat my brother cooked for me. In the past, I would have had a drink and chatted about this and that, but today I was just too tired, and it was so nice to have my brother right in front of me. That was all I liked.
But while I was eating, Seokjin oppa said something unexpected to me.
""Don't you think I'm pathetic...? Tell me quickly.."
What..? Did I hear something wrong...?But Seokjin oppa's face was stiff, as if it was a joke.Am I just thinking too much about myself...?
Chijijik....
The meat in front of me was burning, but neither I nor Seokjin, who seemed to have something twisted up, turned the meat over.
"What does that mean...?"
At my words, Seokjin oppa looked at me for a long time and then suddenly ordered a bottle of soju. He poured the cool soju that had just come out of the fridge into a glass and downed it in one gulp before continuing.
"You're always okay but I'm not okay.
While you were finishing your studies abroad, I still couldn't pass the exam.
Aren't you pathetic?"
This time, Seokjin oppa gave up on studying for the Foreign Service Exam. He'd always boasted that he'd pass by the time I returned from my overseas training, but he was still stuck in his old ways. For some reason, he seemed so worn out by me that he avoided talking about it and tried to have a good time. But did my attitude actually come across as indifference...?
""Everyone is flying with wings, but I'm still stuck in the same place."
Seokjin seemed to be very shocked when everyone in the study group passed the exam without him.
"Oppa, don't say things like that... I know you don't mean them.
Oppa, you've done well so far..
I like whatever path you take. I trust you."
At my words, Seokjin looked at me with an even sadder expression.
"What? Are you doing well...? Don't fool me...
You were the one who most wanted me to pass.
If I pass, let's set a date quickly.
I was waiting for you to get married...."
"No... I'm not in that much of a hurry..."
I immediately denied the sudden bombshell statement, but... what my brother said was true.But... how do I put that into words...
"Every time I see you, I get jealous...
And then I feel so pathetic...
"Isn't that so embarrassing...?"
When I heard this, my true feelings vanished into thin air. I was left speechless as my mind raced with thoughts of how to escape this situation.
Thump~!!
When I remained silent without saying anything, Seokjin oppa roughly put down his spoon and suddenly stood up from his seat.
"Huh...?? Me... Oppa.. "
"I'm in a bad mood today, so let's just chill out here... I have to go to my parents' house tomorrow, and you have to go to work at dawn too."
"No, it's been a few days since we last saw each other..."
Seokjin Oppa got up, paid the bill without saying a word, and left. While I was mumbling like an idiot, the meat, which had already turned to charcoal, cooled down and remained on the table.
Had our tempering failed? The charred meat tasted like chocolate that had been bubbling and then cooled.
. . .
I haven't been in touch with Seokjin since, and I've been busy with work since then, leading up to Valentine's Day. For some reason, I wasn't sure if I should contact him. I figured he needed some time, so I buried myself in work.
under....
And the breakup text from Seokjin oppa came on Valentine's Day, when I contacted him just in case.
Come to think of it, that's what happened.
Ever since I left for training, we've been avoiding difficult conversations to avoid making things difficult for both of us. I thought this was just tempering, a process that took place at a comfortable temperature, but I had to admit that I was actually running away from important conversations, letting them cool down.
Before I left for training, Seokjin oppa said that if he passed the foreign service exam, he would travel to many countries with me and make chocolate... While I received my oppa's undivided love and devoted myself to my dream, I paid no attention to his dream.
Regardless of whether Seokjin oppa got a job or not, we could have just talked about putting down two spoons and starting over. I should have encouraged him like I had supported and cheered him on...
Maybe my brother was waiting for me like that too...?
I'm busy with my work and I'm caught up in my new life
I couldn't take good care of Seokjin oppa, who was losing confidence and becoming smaller.
The feeling of separation was starting from me.
My love tempering was a complete failure.
I just realized that we haven't had a single warm-up since I came back.
END.
*All stories come from the author's head.
Unauthorized distribution and reproduction are prohibited.
©️ Earthquake in My Head (2023)