02 _ Why did you, so bright and warm, finally come to me?
In his first year of middle school, the gates of the school he was entering were too high for the young Woo-joo, and the school he would attend was too vast. Fearful because it was his first time at middle school, he habitually reached out, reaching for his father's hand, only to let it drop again. The spaces on either side of him were empty. He held his hand, which was shaking slightly, with his other hand. He knew he had to live, no matter what.I can live well.
The middle school I'd entered after so many apologies was even colder, and rumors spread quickly. Among the kids in my class, there was a boy whose father was a reporter. He gave Woo-joo a new name, recounting the materials he'd seen over his father's shoulder while covering a recent incident.You're Kim Woo-joo, right? The daughter of a murderer. So, you have the blood of a murderer in your veins, too?Murderer.It was a new name for the universe. The children in his class remembered him as a murderer, and his first day of middle school was a miserable one.
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That day, the universe became alone. How much I longed for it. Someone, someone to reach out to me. Why isn't anyone coming? Why am I alone? I spent nights awake with such thoughts. For about five months, the universe's monologue faded. It was a time when the empty seat next to me became a natural thing. Yes, I was the daughter of a murderer. The daughter of a murderer who had cowardly fled. Before I knew it, I found myself loathing myself. Even the universe itself was denying its own existence.
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I thought the day marking a major turning point in my life would be special. A rainbow, rain. I thought it would be literally different from other days. In fact, the days that become pivotal in my life are special in their ordinaryness. More so than other days, they're peaceful, almost strange, and smooth.
Even the universe had a strangely ordinary day. Within those 24 hours, if there was one thing that shone brightly and was particularly special, it was this:
“There’s a place like this?”
You were the child who came into my ruined life.jungkook jeon.
Even if he tried not to listen, he hated the children's chattering in class. Even though Woo-joo himself already felt like a murderer, he still hated the word "murderer." So, Woo-joo's usual hangout was a bench behind the school building. It was a place he'd found after wandering around the school during the entrance ceremony, searching for warmth amidst the coldness of the other children. The children didn't know about it, and they didn't care. From that day on, that bench became Woo-joo's, a place where he found peace, a place he frequented most often.
/
On that ordinary day, as always, I sat on a bench, escaping the children's chattering, closing my eyes in the sunlight. Then, I opened my eyes to the sound of footsteps and the voice of a boy. He was standing in front of the bench where I was sitting, looking down at me. My first thought was a sense of strangeness. Why didn't his gaze, gazing at me, reveal the emotions so readily apparent in other children? Why were you smiling, and why did that smile seem genuine? As I stared blankly, he spoke again.
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“I’m Jeon Jungkook, and you are?”
Jeon Jungkook. He slowly rolled the name in his mouth. The universe, which had defined itself as a murderer, felt warmth in the name in his mouth, and he could sense the emotion rising from the subconscious, beyond the conscious that defined itself as a murderer. I don't want to be a murderer. I don't want to be. I'm not a murderer. It was the universe's pledge, his final voice, something he had never been able to shout out, something he had kept hidden from himself.