At the front gate, servants sent ahead from the Left State Councilor’s house were standing there, and in the sarangchae, Father had taken his seat earlier than usual.
Sohwa kept glancing toward the door even while combing my hair.
“Are you planning to pull out my hair with that comb?”
Her hand stopped.
“…I’m sorry.”
“Are you nervous? Your hand is shaking.”
Sohwa looked down at the comb. It really was shaking just a little.
“A little miss isn’t shaking?”
I looked at my face in the mirror.
“I am.”
“You don’t look like it at all.”
“I already shook enough last night.”
I barely slept. The Left State Councilor is coming.
Han Noa’s grandfather. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking at all.
If he opposed the marriage, postponing it would have made sense.
But instead, he moved it up.
And without even consulting Han Noa, his own grandson, about it.
‘He’s coming to test conditions.’
Noa’s words came back to me.
‘Conditions to break me.’
And.
‘Or you.’
I let out a slow breath. Sohwa pinned the hair ornament into my hair.
“Done.”
“Weird?”
“No. Very neat.”
“If it’s too neat, won’t I look easy to push around?”
Sohwa stared at me in the mirror.
“…Even when you’re just standing still, miss, you don’t really look easy to push around.”
“What’s that supposed to mean.”
“It’s a good thing.”
Doesn’t sound like it.
I stood up from my seat. Today I wasn’t wearing anything flashy.
A deep navy skirt and a pale gray jeogori. I kept the accessories to a minimum too. This wasn’t a place to go get myself adored by the Left State Councilor.
But it wasn’t a place to go pick a fight either.
It was just— A place to say what kind of person I was.
When I opened the door, the cold morning air came in.
A person was standing at the end of the wooden veranda.
It was Han Noa. Arms folded, leaning against a pillar.
“Why are you here?”
He looked at me and stood up.
“I waited.”
“For me?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“To go together.”
I looked at him for a moment.
‘Stay by my side.’
So he really meant to keep that literally.
“Young master. What I asked yesterday, to stay beside me, was—”
“I know.”
Noa cut in first.
“You didn’t mean for me to fight in your place.”
He smiled.
“That much I understood.”
“Then today, please let me do the talking.”
“I will.”
“And don’t interrupt before I answer.”
“I’ll try.”
“Not try. Promise.”
Noa lifted a brow slightly.
“Difficult.”
“You can’t do it already?”
“I can.”
He straightened up.
“I won’t interrupt until you allow it.”
“Good.”
“However.”
Of course, he wasn’t going to let it pass that easily.
“What is it.”
“If I really can’t hold back.”
“Then hold back.”
“I’m not finished yet.”
“That means you’ll say something if you can’t hold back anyway.”
Noa glanced at me for a moment, then laughed.
“You know me too well now.”
“If I didn’t after being put through this for years, I’d be an idiot.”
“Well, that’s a relief.”
He stepped to my side.
Together we headed to the sarangchae.
After a few steps, Noa suddenly asked, “Are you scared?”
I answered while looking ahead.
“A little nervous.”
“If you want to go back, you can.”
“It’s fine, I’m not going.”
The sarangchae drew nearer.
Unfamiliar shoes were visible beneath the wooden floor.“ㅇㅇ아. Whatever they say today, that doesn’t define your worth.”
I blinked.
“Even if they talk about your family, your status, how far you can climb.”
Noa looked straight at me.
“That doesn’t decide who you are.”
Something deep in my chest sank very quietly.
For a moment, I couldn’t say anything.
Then I asked,
“Where did you learn to say things like that?”
“Qing.”
“Liar.”
“Caught me.”
I snorted a laugh.
The tension eased out of the shoulders that had been stiff until just now.
Noa turned toward the door first.
“Shall we?”
This time, I took the first step.
“Let’s go.”
*
The Left State Councilor looked younger than I’d expected.
Of course, his hair had threads of gray and there were deep wrinkles around his eyes.
But his gaze was strangely clear.
The kind of eyes that looked at a person for a long time.
The kind of eyes that tried to see the thoughts hidden behind the words before the words themselves.
Father spoke first.
“This is my daughter.”
I folded both hands neatly and bowed deeply.
“It’s an honor to meet you, sir.”
“Mm.”
It was a short answer.
“Raise your head.”
I slowly lifted my head.
The Left State Councilor’s gaze landed on my face.
For a long time.
Really a long time.
How could a person read so much off someone’s face.
Without realizing it, I straightened my back a little more.
Then Noa said from beside me,
“Grandfather.”
I immediately looked at Noa.
I told you not to interrupt.
Noa met my glare and closed his mouth.
The Left State Councilor’s eyes moved once between us.
“So there are days when you keep your mouth shut.”
“Only today.”
“That’s impressive too.”
They really were alike.
Alike in the most annoying way.
The Left State Councilor looked back at me.
“I hear from your father that you can read.”
“A little.”
“And that you paint too.”
My heart stopped for a second.
I almost turned to look at Father.
I barely held myself back.The Left State Councilor didn’t miss my reaction.
“Why are you surprised?”
“…Because there are many who don’t look kindly on women painting.”
“Did I say that?”
“Not yet.”
His brow moved just slightly.
Noa lowered his head beside me.
It looked like he was smiling.
Are you laughing right now?
The Left State Councilor asked,
“Do you handle brushes well?”
I thought for a moment. Should I speak modestly.
I always did in front of Father.
I’m still lacking.
It’s not something I’d call talent.
It’s only a hobby.
When a woman spoke about her own skill, the safe answer was always to make herself smaller.
But strangely, today I didn’t want to do that.
“I handle them well.”
Father’s gaze reached me.
Noa looked at me too.
The Left State Councilor showed no expression.
“You’re quite confident.”
“I don’t claim to be good at what I can’t do.”
“Then do you paint as well as your father?”
This time, I hesitated a little.
“Not yet.”
“Not yet?”
“Yes.”
The corner of the Left State Councilor’s mouth moved slightly.
I couldn’t tell whether it was a smile or not.
“Do you mean to paint better than your father someday?”
I looked at Father. Father said nothing.
But strangely, he didn’t look angry.
I looked back at the Left State Councilor.
“I’d like to.”
The room went quiet.
Only then did I realize.
Ah.
I’d just been too honest.
It was already too late.
The Left State Councilor lifted his teacup.
“Good.”
It was unexpected.
“Having a talent is no fault.”
The teacup returned to the table.
“But knowing where to place that talent is another matter.”
Here it came.
I curled my fingers slightly.
The Left State Councilor said,
“The wedding will go ahead as planned in ten days.”
Noa’s brow furrowed.
“Until yesterday it was twenty days.”
“So I shortened it to ten.”
“May I ask why?”
“The Yoon family is moving again.”
For the first time, the air in the room changed.
I looked at Noa.
His face had stiffened.
The Left State Councilor continued calmly.
“Until just before you returned from Qing, they probably thought the match wasn’t settled yet.”
“I clearly told them it was over.”
“If you say it’s over, the world doesn’t end it with you.”
“That still isn’t a reason to bring the wedding forward.”
“It is.”
The Left State Councilor’s voice grew lower.
“An engagement isn’t kept only with words.”
His gaze landed on me.
“Once betrothal gifts are exchanged and the wedding date is set, what comes after carries a different weight than before.”
I listened quietly.
“So moving up the wedding itself has no other meaning.”
Noa asked,
“Then why did you come in person?”
A brief silence passed.
This time, the Left State Councilor looked only at me.
“For this child.”
I had expected it, but my fingertips still went cold.
“I came to see why my grandson is so set on you.”
“Grandfather.”
Noa’s voice dropped.
I moved my hand under the table.
Just a little.
I pressed my palm downward. It meant wait.
Noa saw it. He fell silent.
The Left State Councilor’s eyes flicked between us again.
He pretended not to notice, but he definitely saw it.
“Marriage isn’t something only two people do.”
He said.
“Especially not in this family.”
I knew that.
What lay between us wasn’t only our feelings.
It was the invisible wall people had built up over decades.
“If you enter the Han family, people will look at our family name before your own whenever you do anything.”
“Yes.”
“Your mistakes won’t end as your mistakes.”
“Yes.”
“Your father’s affairs, and your natal family’s affairs, will sometimes become our family’s affairs.”
“I know.”
“No.”
He said firmly.
“You don’t yet.”
I kept quiet.
“Knowing and living through it are different.”
I couldn’t deny that.
“So I’ll ask you this.”
The Left State Councilor said,
“Even after the wedding, do you still intend to hold a brush?”
Beside me, I felt Noa move.
I didn’t look at him.
“Yes.”
I answered.
The Left State Councilor’s eyes settled.
“If I tell you not to.”
This time, I couldn’t answer right away.
I saw Father sitting in the corner of the room.
Hands that had held a brush all his life, nails stained with ink.
A man who, whenever orders came from the palace, painted through the night and still could not leave his own name behind freely.
And Mother.
‘It’s not that women mustn’t hold a brush. The problem is that people will ask what you intend to do with it.’
I had known that since I was little.
That being caught painting was more dangerous than painting itself.
So I hid it.
From Father.
From others.
Sometimes even from myself.
But strangely, after Han Noa found out, I no longer wanted to hide it as much.
I looked at the Left State Councilor.
“I can’t let it go.”
Father’s hand moved just slightly.
Noa didn’t even breathe loudly.
The Left State Councilor asked,
“Why.”
“Because I like it.”
“Painting?”
“Yes.”
It was such a simple answer.
But did it need any other reason?
“It’s also something I’m good at.”
I went on slowly.
“It’s also the way I see the world.”
The Left State Councilor said nothing.
“If you tell me to learn the Han family’s rules, I will.”
My voice didn’t tremble as much as I’d thought.
“If you tell me to respect my elders, I will. I won’t take the family’s honor lightly either.”
I drew in a short breath.
“But if you tell me to put down my brush.”
For the first time, my fingertips shook.
I clenched my hands tightly in my lap.
“I can’t do that.”
“Even if the wedding might fall apart?”
This time, Noa really moved.
I spoke before he could.
“Yes.”
I was the one who was surprised by my own answer.
The wedding might fall apart. If this had been days ago, my heart would have sunk at those words first.
But not now.
I was scared. But strangely, I didn’t regret it.
The Left State Councilor watched me for a long time.
“Noa went all the way to Qing because of you.”
“I know.”
“That child gave up years.”
At that, something in me rose for the first time.
“So did I.”
The room froze.
Ah.
Maybe that was a bit too harsh.
But the words were already out.
I couldn’t take them back.
The Left State Councilor’s eyes sharpened.
“What did you give up.”
I swallowed.
“For years.”
Noa looked at me. I didn’t look at him.
“I didn’t only lose the young master.”
The more I spoke, the more long-buried feelings rose little by little.
“I waited too, not knowing anything.”
For the first time, the expression vanished from the Left State Councilor’s face.
“It hurt.”
My fingertips tightened.
“I resented it.”
And.
“Still, I couldn’t forget.”
Noa drew in a very small breath.
Oops.
That wasn’t something to say in front of that man.
I rushed on.
“So if you tell me that because the young master gave something up for me, I should give up what’s mine too.”
I looked straight at the Left State Councilor.
“That isn’t fair.”
A long silence.
Father too. Noa too. The Left State Councilor too.
No one spoke.
I was beginning to worry.
Was I seriously arguing about fairness with one of the highest officials in Joseon right now?
Yeah.
I was in trouble.
Then.
“Pfft.”
A sound came out.
I snapped my head to the side.
Han Noa had his head bowed.
His shoulders were shaking.
“Sorry.”
He was laughing.
“Is something funny?”
“No.”
It is.
It definitely is.
The Left State Councilor said coldly,
“Noa.”
“Yes.”
Noa barely managed to lift his head.
The corners of his mouth were up.
“I’m sorry.”
“What’s so funny.”
“I’m a little upset that you said I gave up years.”
“What?”
This time it was my turn to ask.
Noa looked at me.
“I never thought of it as giving anything up.”
“Does that matter right now?”
“It does.”
He said it as if it were obvious.
“If it was time spent because of you, then it wasn’t something I gave up.”
“…….”
I fell silent.
This man really didn’t care about the place or the timing.
We’re in front of the Left State Councilor. Your grandfather, no less.
The Left State Councilor let out a deep sigh.
“This is why I can’t stand you.”
“I know.”
“Your mouth is too light.”
“I know that too.”
“And yet you have no intention of fixing it.”
“I’ve learned it’s better than swallowing words I should say.”
“From whom.”
Noa’s gaze flicked to me for a moment.
“Just now.”
I closed my eyes.
Please.
The Left State Councilor watched his grandson for a while.
Then he turned back to me.
“Do you think the reason I told you to put down your brush was simply because you are a woman?”
I thought for a moment.
“Isn’t it?”
“Half right, half wrong.”
The Left State Councilor said,
“If your paintings go out into the world, people will know who you are.”
I listened quietly.
“The daughter of a court painter.”
That rang out with unusual clarity.
“There will be those who want to make a fuss over the fact that the daughter of a commoner has become the chief wife of the Left State Councilor’s house.”
Noa’s face stiffened.
The Left State Councilor didn’t care.
“And there will be those who use that to strike at Noa.”
“So?”
The question slipped out before I could stop it.
“So is my father someone to be ashamed of?”
Father looked at me.
The Left State Councilor’s brow moved.
“I did not say that.”
“But isn’t that what you mean by telling me to hide it?”
“Politics doesn’t move by right and wrong alone.”
“I don’t know politics.”
“That much is obvious.”
“But.”
I glanced at Father once.
Then I said again,
“I know my father is nothing to be ashamed of.”
Father’s face hardened.
“He painted for the royal family, kept the country’s records, and spent his whole life doing his work.”
My throat tightened a little.
Still, I kept going.
“I learned painting from him too.”
In truth, I couldn’t say I learned directly.
I watched.
I copied.
I got scolded.
Then I painted again.
But even that was learning in the end.
“If this is the kind of house I can only enter by hiding that.”
My lips trembled slightly. This time, I was afraid.
Really afraid.
Still, I said it.
“Then I don’t want to enter that house.”
Noa slowly looked at me.
The Left State Councilor didn’t move at all.
“Are you saying you won’t marry.”
Before answering, I looked at Noa.
Our eyes met.
He said nothing.
He was really waiting until I decided.
Seeing that, strangely, my heart calmed.
“No.”
I said.
“I do want the marriage.”
This time Noa’s eyes widened a little.
Why are you surprised? You’re the one who made such a fuss.
“With the young master.”
Once I said it, I felt embarrassed.
Still, after coming this far, I couldn’t hide it.
“I want to marry Han Noa.”
Noa opened his mouth.
I said at once,
“Don’t say anything right now.”
His mouth closed again.
The Left State Councilor’s eyes narrowed faintly.
“And yet.”
I continued.
“If to have that marriage I have to be ashamed of my father.”
One.
“Or give up what I love.”
Two.
“Or hide who I am.”
Three.
“Then I don’t want it that badly.”
After saying it all, my heart was pounding like crazy.
My palms were sweating.
My knees trembled a little.
But my face stayed up.
The Left State Councilor asked,
“If Noa still chooses you anyway.”
This time Noa answered.
“I choose her.”
I glared at him.
“Young master.”
“You asked me.”
That was exactly right, which made it even more annoying.
The Left State Councilor looked at his grandson.
“Even if it means going against the family?”
“Grandfather.”
Noa said without a trace of a smile.
“I’m not saying I’ll give up the name and position I’ve earned in this house.”
The Left State Councilor’s gaze changed.
“I will keep my place too.”
Noa said.
“But I have no intention of putting this person down in order to stand there.”
My chest beat quietly.
“If that makes me not the kind of Han family man you want.”
Noa drew in a slow breath.
“Then that means I’m still lacking.”
“Noa.”
“Yes.”
“You still haven’t learned anything in Qing.”
“I learned a lot.”
“What.”
Noa’s gaze landed on me.
“That if you’re late, you lose.”
The room went quiet.
The Left State Councilor said nothing for a while.
Then, unexpectedly, he laughed.
Very softly.
It was just for an instant.
“You two really did meet well.”
I blinked.
Was that a compliment? Doesn’t feel like it.
“One is stubborn.”
The Left State Councilor looked at Noa.
“The other is even more stubborn.”
This time, he looked at me.
Still not a compliment.
“Sir.”
I opened my mouth carefully.
“Then the wedding…”
“It goes on as planned.”
I lost my words for a moment.
So did Noa.
“Grandfather.”
“What.”
“Just now you told her to put down her brush.”
“I did.”
“But—”
The Left State Councilor lifted his tea as if nothing were wrong.
“She says she doesn’t want to.”
“…….”
“…….”
This time, both Noa and I fell silent at once.
The Left State Councilor took a sip of tea.
“I didn’t come in person to see whether she was obedient.”
The teacup was set down.
“I came to see why you couldn’t give her up.”
Noa’s expression hardened.
“Years ago, I didn’t know.”
The Left State Councilor said.
“Back then, to me, this child was only the daughter of a court painter.”
I watched him quietly.
“The Yoon family could offer greater power.”
He said it very calmly.
“I thought that was the path for you.”
Noa’s jaw tightened.
“So you told me to break the engagement?”
“Yes.”
“And when I refused, you sent me to Qing.”
“That was your choice.”
“You left me only one path to choose.”
The air grew taut.
For the first time, it felt like I could see the years laid between Noa and the Left State Councilor.
I wasn’t the only one hurt.
Noa too. Maybe even that old man too.
In their own ways, they had been pushing each other away.
The Left State Councilor looked at me.
“There was one thing I misjudged.”
“What is it?”
“I didn’t know that brat would refuse to give up even after going to Qing.”
I looked at Noa.
He was only looking at his grandfather.
“I thought he’d come back and come to his senses.”
“He got worse instead.”
I said without thinking.
Noa looked at me.
“You.”
“What. It’s true.”
This time, the Left State Councilor really did laugh.
It was a short laugh.
“So it seems.”
Noa looked wronged.
For the first time, I found the Left State Councilor a little less frightening.
But then.
His expression sank again.
“Still, remember one thing.”
Noa and I looked at him at the same time.
“The Yoon family has not backed down.”
His voice had lost all trace of amusement.
“Don’t assume the ten days before the wedding will be quiet just because the wedding is ten days away.”
Noa asked,
“What kind of movement is there?”
“Nothing certain yet.”
“Grandfather.”
“I have no intention of saying anything uncertain and clouding your judgment.”
The Left State Councilor stood up.
“Figure it out yourself.”
Noa stood too.
“You came all the way here just to say that?”
“That too.”
The Left State Councilor’s gaze moved to me.
“And to see the bride’s face.”
“…….”
Why are all the men in this house like this.
The Left State Councilor stopped in front of me.
“Child.”
“Yes.”
“You said you wanted to keep holding a brush.”
“Yes.”
“Then paint well.”
I lifted my eyes.
“Don’t disgrace the family by painting poorly.”
“Grandfather.”
Noa called out in disbelief.
I looked at the Left State Councilor for a moment, then lowered my head.
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
He passed by.
A voice came from a few steps behind.
“And Noa.”
“Yes. Yes.”
“If you run away again within ten days.”
Noa’s face stiffened.
“This time I’ll go all the way to Qing to catch you myself.”
I bit my lip to keep from laughing.
Noa muttered very quietly,
“That won’t happen.”
The Left State Councilor didn’t look back.
“I know.”
Leaving those words behind, he went down the veranda.
After the Left State Councilor left. I sat there in the sarangchae for a long while.
My legs had gone weak.
To be exact—only now did I start shaking.
“Sohwa.”
Sohwa, who had been waiting outside, hurried in.
“Yes, miss.”
“Bring me some water.”
“Yes.”
“Cold. Very cold.”
Sohwa rushed out in a hurry.
I covered my face with both hands.
I was really crazy.
What did I even say to the Left State Councilor.
Not fair.
Can’t put down my brush.
Don’t want to enter that house.
“Ah.”
I wanted to smash my forehead onto the table right then.
Then a voice came from beside me.
“That was pretty cool.”
I lifted my head.
Han Noa was smiling.
“Young master, keep quiet.”
“Why.”
“Because I’m thinking about how big a mess I just made.”
“A mess?”
“I talked back to the Left State Councilor.”
“Mm.”
“More than once, too.”
“You did.”
“Then why are you so calm?”
Noa sat down in front of me.
“Because I saw the expression Grandfather makes when he likes something.”
I blinked.
“He liked it?”
“Yeah.”
“Me? What part?”
Noa thought for a moment.
“The part that doesn’t listen.”
“…….”
“Might be a family trait.”
“I’m not a Han.”
“Ten days from now—”
I let out a sigh.
And yet a little laugh came out.
Maybe because the tension had loosened.
A moment later, I asked,
“..You really didn’t say anything, did you.”
Noa looked at me.
“Was it hard to bear?”
“I thought I was going to die.”
A laugh burst out.
“Especially when he said to put down the brush. I really almost interrupted then.”
“Why did you hold back?”
Noa said it as if it were obvious.
“Because you were speaking.”
I fell silent.
He went on as if it were nothing.
“And the moment I spoke for you instead, in Grandfather’s eyes you’d become someone standing behind me.”
I looked at him slowly.
“I didn’t want that.”
Noa said.
“I said I’d stand beside you, didn’t I.”
My own words.
He remembered them more accurately than I did.
Not behind.
Not in front.
Beside.
“Young master. Today, a little.”
The words wouldn’t come easily.
Still, I said it.
“Thank you.”
Noa blinked.
He looked genuinely surprised.
“Is that so surprising?”
“No, it’s just..”
He cleared his throat.
“I didn’t expect to hear that from you.”
“Should I take it back?”
“Absolutely not.”
He answered way too fast.
Noa laughed.
“Feels good.”
“Don’t show it.”
“That’s difficult.”
“Why?”
“Because I just heard the woman I like say thank you to me.”
I stood up immediately.
“I’m leaving.”
“Again?”
“To drink water.”
“But the water is coming this way?”
Just then Sohwa came in with a tray and stopped.
“…….”
I looked at Sohwa.
“You came.”
I snatched up the water bowl.
Drank it in one go.
The cold water went down my throat, but my face didn’t cool at all.
*
Father called me to the painting room only after lunch.
When I opened the door and went in, Father was sitting by the window.
There was no paper or brush in front of him.
“Sit.”
I sat quietly across from him.
I knew what I was about to hear.
I was too forward this morning. I was rude to the Left State Councilor.
I shouldn’t have said so openly that I wouldn’t put down my brush.
I even brought up Father’s honor.
There were plenty of reasons to be scolded.
I lowered my head first.
“I’m sorry about this morning.”
“For what.”
It was an unexpected question.
“I was too…”
“Did you say something wrong?”
I raised my head.
Father had the same face as always.
Blunt.
A face that didn’t show much feeling.
“Father.”
“You said you learned painting from me.”
My heart dropped.
“That’s…”
“When did I teach you?”
As expected.
“I’m sorry.”
“If watching and learning counts as learning.”
Father said.
“Then it would be true.”
I blinked.
Father stood up from his seat.
He walked to the wall and opened an old chest.
Then he took out a small box.
He placed it in front of me.
“Open it.”
Carefully, I lifted the lid.
There was a brush inside. An old brush.
A small plum blossom was carved at the end of the handle.
I knew that pattern.
When I was little. I had seen it a few times when Mother wrote letters.
“…Is it Mother’s?”
“Yes.”
My hand reached out, then stopped.
“Why are you giving this to me…”
“Your mother painted too.”
I looked at Father. It was the first time I’d heard that.
“She wasn’t very good.”
“…Did you say that to Mother?”
“I did.”
“You must have fought.”
“She didn’t speak to me for three days.”
I laughed without meaning to.
A faint smile moved at the corners of Father’s mouth too.
“The day I first saw you hold a brush, you were seven.”
My mind went blank.
“Then…”
“I also knew you were sneaking into the painting room and stealing paper.”
“…….”
“And that you ruined my brush.”
“That was Sohwa…”
“Sohwa hadn’t even come to our house then.”
Ah. It was over. More than ten years of lies had just been exposed.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.”
Father looked at the brush.
“At first, I tried to stop you.”
His voice lowered.
“If you’d had no talent, it would have been easier. But you kept getting better.”
Father’s fingers slowly brushed the edge of the box.
“That scared me more. If you have talent, you’ll want to use it.”
Mother’s words came back to me.
‘The problem isn’t that women can’t hold a brush. It’s that people will ask what you intend to do with it.’
“Your mother made one request of me before she died.”
Father’s voice cracked just a little.
“She asked me not to forcibly take the brush out of that child’s hands.”
I couldn’t say anything.
“So I pretended not to know.”
“…….”
“As long as you hid it, I let you hide it.”
Father looked at me.
“I only waited until you yourself said you would show it to the world.”
My vision blurred a little.
I hurriedly lowered my head.
“Father.”
My voice wouldn’t come out well.
“Is it all right if I keep painting?”
Father didn’t answer for a long time.
Then he said,
“Didn’t you already answer me today?”
I looked up.
“Would I have let you put it down if I hadn’t permitted it?”
“…No.”
“Then that’s enough.”
Father stood up.
“But since you said I’m your father’s daughter, you’d better not paint badly.”
I laughed and wiped my tears away.
“You sound exactly like the Left State Councilor.”
Father’s face immediately hardened.
“Don’t lump me together with that man.”
The laughter came again.
It had been a long time. Laughing like this in front of Father.
I carefully lifted the brush from the box.
It was very light.
But strangely, once it was in my hand, it felt heavy.
Something Mother had touched.
Something Father had kept for years.
And now the brush in my hand.
“I’ll use it well.”
Father didn’t answer.
He only gave the smallest nod.
Toward sunset.
I was sitting on the veranda, looking over the new brush.
Strictly speaking, it wasn’t a new brush.
It was a very old brush.
But to me, it was the first brush I’d ever had today.
“Is that the brush?”
A voice came from beside me.
I didn’t even need to look up.
“Why do you wander around other people’s houses like they’re your own?”
“It’ll be my in-laws’ house soon enough.”
“There are still ten days left.”
Noa sat down beside me.
“Only ten days left.”
I looked down at the brush again.
Noa asked,
“Did your father-in-law give it to you?”
“He’s not my father-in-law yet.”
“Ten days.”
“Say that one more time and I’ll postpone the wedding by a day.”
Noa shut his mouth.
That was very effective.
A moment later, he looked at the brush.
“It’s a good brush.”
“It was my mother’s.”
A little of the teasing left Noa’s face.
“I see.”
“Father said he knew.”
“Knew what.”
“That I painted.”
“I thought so.”
I whipped my head around.
“You knew?”
“You’re not as good at hiding things as you think.”
“I didn’t get caught for years.”
“You put a portrait of my face in the painting room drawer?”
“Han Noa.”
“Fine.”
He laughed and held up both hands.
“I won’t bring that up.”
I tapped his arm lightly with the brush.
Noa looked at the brush and asked,
“Will you paint my face with that too?”
“No. I’m going to paint landscapes.”
“Am I worse than a mountain?”
“Compare things that make sense.”
“Then flowers?”
“Young master.”
“Birds?”
“Could you be quiet?”
He laughed.
I sighed and put the brush back in the box.
Noa stayed quiet for a while.
It was strange, so I looked over and saw he was watching me.
“What you said earlier. That you wanted the marriage.”
My heart thudded down hard.
Ah.
I’d forgotten that.
No.
I’d been pretending to forget it.
“I said that in front of the Left State Councilor.”
“I heard it too.”
I looked away.
“It was just something I said because of the situation.”
“Mm.”
“Don’t misunderstand.”
“I won’t.”
“I mean it.”
“I know.”
He was being too obedient.
That made me uneasy.
“Why are you smiling?”
“Because you said you wanted to marry me.”
“…….”
“Looks like I’ve lived longer than I expected.”
“Young master.”
“Mm.”
“I’m canceling the thank-you from earlier too.”
“That won’t do.”
“Why not.”
“I already heard it.”
“Then just count hearing that I want the marriage as enough.”
“I’m going to make that happen in ten days.”
I stood up with the brush box.
“I’m leaving.”
“Where.”
“Somewhere without the young master.”
Noa stood up after me.
“I’ll go with you.”
“Why!”
“You told me to stay by your side.”
“That was yesterday!”
“You never said until when.”
I stopped.
Noa stopped too.
“Young master.”
“Mm.”
“Shall we add one more rule?”
“What is it.”
“No nitpicking over people’s words.”
“That puts me at too much of a disadvantage.”
“Exactly why I’m adding it.”
Noa pretended to think seriously.
“Rejected.”
“Why do you get veto power?”
“Because these are rules we decide together.”
Fair enough.
Annoying.
I started walking first.
Noa followed behind.
A few steps later he suddenly said,
“ㅇㅇ아.”“What.”
“What you said today, that you’d stand beside me.”
I slowed my steps.
“I never said that.”
“You did.”
“When.”
“When you said you wanted to marry me.”
I turned around.
Noa wasn’t smiling.
“Thank you.”This time, I couldn’t say anything.
He added in a low voice,
“Just because I waited didn’t mean you had to come.”
My chest ached strangely.
Years ago, I waited.
Not knowing anything
And now this person was waiting.
For whether I’d look back, trust again, stand by his side
Without forcing me.
My lips parted slightly.“I’m not all the way there yet.”
Noa nodded.
“I know.”
“I’m still angry at you about a lot of things.”
“I know that too.”
“I still have a lot to ask.”
“Ask.”
“Later.”
“Okay.”
I looked at him.
“But still, a little.”
I didn’t know why words were so hard.
“I think I’m going that way.”
Noa said nothing.
He only looked at me.
But his face was so quiet that it actually made me self-conscious.
“Say something.”
“If I do, you might run.”
“…You know me well.”
“That’s why I’m holding back.”
I snorted a laugh.
Then I started walking again.
This time, Noa didn’t follow.
That was strange, so I looked back.
He was standing there exactly where he was.
“Aren’t you coming?”
Noa’s eyes widened a little.
I only realized it after I’d said it too.
Ah.
I just told him to come with me.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
The corner of Noa’s mouth slowly rose.
“Nothing.”
“Don’t smile.”
“I’m not smiling.”
“You are.”
“I’m happy.”
“Fine. Don’t come.”
“Too late.”
Noa strode over and stood beside me.
Honestly. This man never misses a single opening.
But strangely. Today, I didn’t hate it nearly as much.
*
That night
I was sorting through the things to take for the wedding with Sohwa.
“Are you taking this?”
Sohwa held up an old book.
“Yeah.”
“This too?”
“That too.”
“Then this box…”
“Leave that.”
The more I sorted things one by one, the more real it felt.
Ten days. I only had ten more nights sleeping in this room.
Things that felt like they’d stay forever suddenly started splitting into ‘leave behind’ and ‘take with me.’
“Should I pack this too?”
Sohwa held up a small box.
I snatched it away quickly.
“I’ll handle that one.”
“What is it?”
“Nothing.”
It was Han Noa’s portrait.
Sohwa narrowed her eyes.
“Suspicious.”
“Pack your own things.”
“I’m already done.”
“Why are you faster than me?”
“Because I don’t have anything hidden.”
“…….”
Lately, this girl kept beating me.
Then a servant called Sohwa from outside.
A little later she came back in with a small envelope in her hand.
“Miss. A letter has arrived.”
Without thinking, I held out my hand.
“From whom.”
“Well…”
Sohwa made a strange face.
“The sender…”
I took the envelope.
An unfamiliar hand.
But I knew the name written at the bottom.
My fingertips froze.
Yoon Seoryeon.
For a while, no words came out.
“Is it from the Yoon family’s miss?”
Sohwa asked cautiously. I didn’t answer.
I turned the envelope over.
The seal was intact.
“Who brought it.”
“A servant from the Yoon family.”
“Where is he now.”
“He says he delivered only the letter and went straight back.”
My heart started beating slowly.
What the Left State Councilor had said in the day came back to me.
‘The Yoon family has not backed down.’
I broke the seal.
Inside was a short letter, one sheet only.
The handwriting was neat.
I read the first line. And couldn’t move.
Sohwa studied my face.
“Miss?”
I brought the letter a little closer.
It wasn’t long.
‘I heard the wedding has been set for ten days from now.
I would like to meet you once before then.
Without Young Master Han.
I would like to speak with just the two of us.’
That much I could have expected.
The problem was what came next.
I read the last two lines again.
‘It seems you have not yet heard everything about what happened to Young Master Han in Qing,
so I am writing to tell you this.’
My fingertips went cold.
Sohwa asked,
“What does it say?”
I couldn’t answer. I just stared at the letter.
Qing. What Han Noa still hadn’t told me.
What Yoon Seoryeon knew.
And—
The third rule
‘Do not forcibly dig up what each other wants to hide.’
But I remembered the condition attached after that too.
‘If what I’ve hidden ends up hurting you,
I’ll tell you before you have to ask.’
I folded the letter slowly.
Strange. I wasn’t angry.
Instead, one thought stood very clearly in my mind.
Should I ask Han Noa.
Or
Should I meet Yoon Seoryeon first.”
The wind blew outside the window.
The candle flame swayed long and thin.
I looked at the letter in my hand.This morning I told the Left State Councilor where I stood.
Not behind Han Noa, and not under anyone else.
Then this was no different.
I didn’t want to hear a story someone else had decided for me.
I wanted to confirm it myself.
The years that person spent away, the Han Noa I didn’t know
And the story Yoon Seoryeon knew too.
I lifted my head.“Send someone to the Yoon family tomorrow.”
Sohwa’s eyes widened.
“To send a reply?”
I opened the letter again.
Then I read the last line one more time.
“Tell them I’ll meet.”This time, I wasn’t going to avoid it.
Not with Han Noa, not with Yoon Seoryeon, and not with the story I still didn’t know.
Only one thing occurred to me as I folded the letter.
Han Noa, that third rule you promised.
This time—
you really can keep it, right.
Episode 8: The Place I Stand - End.
