Clear Boy
05.
After the unwanted move, I'd grown up so much. I'd lost all the bravado I'd always had, and I'd stopped swearing at the end of every word. It wasn't cool at all. I'd even given up the delusion that throwing a punch would make me look tough. Nothing mattered anymore. I'd transferred to a new school, as my parents had wished, and I'd been living like a dead mouse. All I could do was give in to whatever kids tried to talk to me. I figured I'd probably live like this in high school, too. It was utterly boring. But there was nothing I could do. I didn't want to be labeled a monster. I never watched another superhero movie. I threw away the posters I'd plastered all over my room, and the figurines I'd displayed all over. I didn't want to see them anymore. Heroes were no longer objects of admiration.
And so my middle school days passed. Now in high school, I'd grown so much that my middle school friends would have been shocked. In height, in heart. After a time filled with hurt and anger, I'd become much more composed. I didn't get angry over anything. I didn't have any emotional fluctuations. I guess that's just how it was. It could happen. People are like that. When I entered high school, I talked to the kids more than I had in middle school. We joked around, ate together, and walked home from school together. But I never told anyone about myself. When I did, things got complicated. Everything from my parents, who I didn't even want to talk to, to why I had to move, to why I lived alone, to why I didn't have any friends from middle school. I hated it. I didn't want to create any tiring situations. I preferred being bored. It wasn't a bad life, though it was lonely.
After school, I'd go up to the roof of a nearby building to spend some time. There was a building near the school that was practically falling apart, and for some reason, no one was there. It was the perfect time to spend alone. I tried not to go home early. I felt dirty. I hated being alone. I felt a vague sense of loneliness, so I deliberately avoided home. That day was the same as usual. After school, I went up to the roof and lay down, leaving my bag far away. The weather was gloomy, perhaps because it was the rainy season. It was a natural phenomenon beyond my control. Will it rain today? I turned on my camera and stared blankly at the sky. Even if it rained, I didn't get wet. The rainwater bounced off me as if there were a barrier around me. At first, it felt like a monster, so I was annoyed, but now I just got used to it. It's nice not getting wet.
After some time, rain fell from the sky as I had expected. Pitter-patter. The raindrops splashed against the ground, making a sound. I was sound asleep when I heard that sound. It was noisy... Should I just make it stop? I hesitated for a moment, then closed my eyes again. I didn't want to bother making a wish. I didn't want to use my powers unless absolutely necessary. I thought it would stop soon, so I tried to go back to sleep, but the rain started to fall harder and harder. It wasn't a downpour. It was drenching the whole world. It was a strange feeling. The whole world was getting drenched, but I was the only one who didn't get wet. Everyone was using umbrellas to avoid the rain, but I didn't dodge, just silently standing my ground. I was the only one who could stop the rain. As if I were special. I laughed bitterly. I hadn't come to my senses even after being treated like that. After all, to people, I was just a monster.
Blinking leisurely, I captured the rainy world. People running to escape the sudden downpour, the ground soaking wet, leaves dripping with rainwater, the cloudy, gray sky—things like that. It was fun to observe the world. Watching it, I felt like I was becoming ordinary, and my heart felt at ease. Then, the iron door on the rooftop, never opened before, creaked open. My heart nearly jumped out of my mouth. What was that? Startled, I sat up. Then, a girl entered my field of vision. A round head with brown hair. That was the first thing I saw. The girl sank to the rooftop in agony, her hands clasped over her ears, her whole body trembling.
"...Stop."
And then he said, "Stop." The sound was muffled by the pouring rain. I concentrated my senses to hear what was going on. The girl was sobbing and curled up. A pang of pity filled my heart. Her small frame looked as if it might crumble at any moment.
"Stop. Please..."
"....."
“Please stop the rain...”
Focusing on the sound, I knew it right away. What was it asking to stop? It was rain. Rain drenching the entire world. She clasped her hands, which had been covering her ears, and begged desperately. Her body was still trembling. I watched quietly, then clasped my hands as if possessed. If she asked me to stop, I should. I don't know why. I've never stopped the rain for anyone else. It's been a while since I've used my powers. Could it be that she's forgotten my voice and won't stop? That thought crossed my mind. Still, I had no choice but to plead. I wanted to help the girl. The method was the same: I closed my eyes, clasped my hands, and murmured.
"Stop the rain."
The sky, as if it hadn't forgotten my voice, answered my wish. The rain suddenly stopped and sunlight rose. "As expected, her skills are still there," I said with a small smile. As the rain stopped, the girl's trembling stopped. She gasped for breath and slowly raised her head. "Wow, she's pretty." That was my first impression upon seeing her face. "She's so pretty." I stared at her absentmindedly. The sunlight reflected off her face, shining brighter than anything else. The girl, blinking, carefully rose from her seat. She continued to stumble, as if her body was weak. She put her bag back on her back and left the rooftop. Her entire body was soaking wet. I wanted to ask if she was okay, but I knew immediately that she wasn't in a state to do so. "Will we ever see each other again?" A thought struck me, absurdly.
I went back to where the girl had left. There, a name tag had fallen. It was our school's name tag. I recognized it immediately by its shape. Judging by the unfamiliar face, I knew it was a junior. I wiped the wet name tag on my shirt. I traced the three letters of the name with my fingertips.
"Yoon A-reum."
Her name was Areum. Yoon Areum... I repeated it several times, and then a thought suddenly occurred to me. Maybe she needed me. Someone who wouldn't see me as a monster even if I revealed my abilities. Someone who needed my abilities. Someone who would need me. Someone I could... be by her side. Maybe she could finally escape her endless loneliness. Maybe she could sleep comfortably even when she entered an empty house. I felt bad for exploiting her pain, but I thought it would be beneficial for both of us. I'd keep someone by my side, and avoid that and B.
I put the name tag in my pocket. I picked up the bag I'd thrown away and left the rooftop. My heart pounded for the first time in a long time. A new beginning. A new starting point. I was determined to become destined for that girl.
06.
I was so desperate to go to school, I stomped my feet all night. What should we talk about when we meet tomorrow? Hello? You're so ordinary. Aren't you beautiful? This is like a stalker. Have you heard a lot of stories? What if I ask who told you? You're so pretty? Crazy. You're a total idiot. No matter how much I agonized over what to say as a first greeting, there was no answer. After much deliberation, I decided to do something spontaneous tomorrow. And then I overslept. It was because I slept too late. I couldn't even put on my uniform properly, I ran out of breath. I ran until my throat tasted blood, but I was late. I even got a demerit point. It was a very uneasy start. As soon as I entered class, I collapsed on my desk. My heart was pounding from running so hard.
"Choi Beomgyu, what's wrong?"
"I overslept and I'm late."
"You ran here?"
"Ugh... I'm dying."
My deskmate smiled and handed me some water. I thanked her and drank it. My dazed mind seemed to be clearing a little. "Yeah, I need to get my act together today. I'll go check out the second-grade classroom during recess. Maybe I'll see them." I rested my chin on my hand and thought quietly. My hands and feet trembled, eager to see them soon. As if to shatter my hopes, Yoon Areum was nowhere to be seen. I'd been back and forth to the first-grade classroom dozens of times, but I hadn't seen a head that looked anything like her. A round head with chestnut hair. I should know right away. Had I misread the name tag? No matter how I looked at it, it was our school name tag. I touched the name tag I'd picked up yesterday again. I was just rubbing the three letters of my name, but for some reason, I felt a strange sense of nostalgia.
I tried going down during lunchtime, but as expected, it was a failure. School was already drawing to a close. Let's go down for the last time. Really, really the last time. If there's no more... what should I do? Will there be a tomorrow? Just going down one floor, all sorts of thoughts crossed my mind. What kind of fate is that? I almost fell down the stairs. My sprained ankle was throbbing. Oh, it's all over the place. The second-years were also bustling, preparing to leave school. I searched for my round head amidst the crowd, but this time, it was a failure. Where the hell is he hiding? It's not even raining today. I grumbled to myself. Just then, the bell rang. I'll just have to come back tomorrow. I took heavy, unsteady steps. As I turned the corner to climb the stairs,
"ah..."
"ah."
I bumped into someone. Both I and the other person lost our balance and fell over from the sudden collision. The ankle I'd sprained earlier throbbed again. My brow furrowed slightly. My luck today was... ok. Who am I to blame? It was my fault for bumping into someone. Textbooks, notebooks, and writing utensils were rolling around on the floor. The other person had dropped them when he fell. I quickly got up and picked them up. The other person also got up and picked them up without saying a word. Unlike my textbook, which was tattered and dirty, his textbook was spotless. Wow, it was really neatly written. Every single page was crisp, without a single crease. Even the writing utensils were spotless. It was like I could read a person's personality without even looking. As I was picking up the notebook, I stumbled upon a name written on it. A clean, neat handwriting. And the name written in that handwriting...
"..Yoon A-reum?"
It was Yoon Areum. Surprised by the sudden call of her name, Yoon Areum turned her gaze toward me. Our eyes met. They were large, beautiful eyes. My whole body tingled.
"That's true."
"..Do you know me?"
Oh, my. My true feelings spilled out before I knew it. I hadn't expected this kind of first meeting. I racked my brain, trying to think of something to say, but nothing came out. My eyes just rolled. Yoon Areum stared at me blankly, then quickly resumed picking up her things.
"...I'll pick it up. Sorry for bumping into it."
"No, it's okay."
“But you fell because of me.”
"Don't worry about it."
He said that and took the bag I was holding. It was only a fleeting moment, but our hands brushed against each other. The spot where we'd touched felt incredibly ticklish. My stomach churned for no reason. I couldn't even understand why.
"I'm sorry too."
“No. You don’t have to feel sorry...”
"You have nothing more to say?"
"huh?"
"I'm going to go now."
There was a problem. Yoon Areum was incredibly stubborn. She hadn't even looked at me properly since our first eye contact. Her eyes were indifferent and her expression was so blank that I wondered if she was the same person I saw yesterday. Yoon Areum gave a brief greeting and leisurely walked past me. Should I stop her and say something? But what should I say? Her actions were faster than I expected. Before I knew it, I grabbed Yoon Areum's wrist as she passed by. I felt her warmth. Surprised by the sudden grab, Yoon Areum's eyes widened. Like a squirrel. She was just as pretty as yesterday. And yet.
"excuse me."
"....."
"I'm Choi Beom-gyu."
That was all he could say after holding onto me. A statement. I wanted to bite my tongue and die from the pressure. Crazy Choi Beom-gyu. Ambitious was just a name. Yoon Areum looked at me with a look that said, "What should I do?" Still, I couldn't let go of the wrist I was holding.
"That's it, that's it."
"....."
"...remember my name."
"yes?"
"Choi Beomgyu. My name. Please remember it."
"..why?"
The voice in question remained steady. What should I say this time? Cold sweat dripped down his large eyes, staring at me. What's so big and clear about them? I had a gut feeling that if I answered wrong, it would be the end of everything, even the beginning. But there was no other way. I had no choice but to scream.
"I want to become close with you."
"....."
"I've known you for a long time."
"....."
“I wanted to get to know you, so I told you my name, uh...”
"....."
"It might be strange, but I'm serious. So I hope you remember."
It must have been an incredible first meeting. I was also amazed. I'd never been so flustered in a relationship. I'd never been nervous. Now, I was so nervous that my back was drenched in sweat. A moment of silence fell between me and Yoon Areum. I swallowed hard. After a long silence, Yoon Areum removed my hand from her wrist. And then she spoke.
"I don't want to be close to you."
"uh?"
"I don't want to be close to you."
"....."
"Don't waste your energy on it."
I'm sorry I bumped into you. And thank you for picking it up. Okay, that's it. This time, I really couldn't catch you. It was a gentle rejection. It had been a long time since I'd seen you, but I couldn't go up to the classroom. I froze in place. I was being kicked. Before I could even begin. My mind slowly rolled. As I finally grasped the situation, unexpectedly, laughter came out rather than tears. I held my stomach and laughed out loud, just like that time I broke my arm imitating Superman.
"It really hits the mark."
After hearing her story, instead of hating her, I liked her even more. My body, which had been tense with tension, loosened, and my mood relaxed. She was incredibly cute. If you asked me what was cute about her, I wouldn't be able to answer. She was just cute. The way her eyes widened and she spoke clearly. Yoon Areum said no, but I was sure she wouldn't forget my name. It's not easy to forget someone who suddenly asks you to remember your name. Maybe it was a good thing. If I was going to give up so easily, I wouldn't have searched for her all day. My heart was pounding. I was so optimistic after being rejected. But it didn't matter.
Fate is always unexpected. It appears unexpectedly, at the most unexpected moments, turning everyday life upside down. I knew this all too well. I also knew how fate, when it arrives like that, can turn lives upside down. As I walked up to the classroom, I vowed to myself. I would become Yoon Areum's unexpected destiny. I would become someone who could turn lives upside down. I would make them laugh. Every time I walked, Yoon Areum's name tag jangled in my pocket. Even that felt good.
The sky was clear, without a single cloud. It was a new beginning.