Chapter 2
oblivion
Written by Malranggong.
*This article has nothing to do with reality.
*The countries mentioned in this article are fictional and are the author's work.
***
“Captain, this is Sergeant Songolmae. May I come in?”
Captain Kim Nam-joon was waiting in the counseling room. What did he want to say? I knocked, my mind filled with doubt.
“Okay. Come in.”
As soon as I entered the counseling room, Captain Kim Nam-joon's signature fabric softener scent enveloped me. This place always had a faint earthy, gunpowder-like scent, but strangely, only Captain Kim Nam-joon exuded the gentle scent of fabric softener. The dry scent would become fragrant and gentle when it met Captain Kim Nam-joon. And even then, when the air was filled with the stench of blood...
“Are you here?”
Captain Kim Nam-jun just blurted out, “Are you here?” and stood there, looking out the window with his pack on his back.
“Captain. I heard from Private Kim Seok-jin that you were looking for me.”
At my words, Captain Kim Nam-joon turned towards me and seemed hesitant to speak for some reason, then opened his mouth with difficulty.
“Today is… the anniversary of my brother’s death. Can I not take a vacation?”
"……ah…"
My only younger brother. I couldn't take the bullet that came flying through the window for him, and I couldn't protect him. Today is the anniversary of his death, the day my mother went missing, and the day I was rescued by Captain Kim Namjoon. I suddenly wondered why I had that dream today. It was to remind me of the anniversary of my brother's death, which I had forgotten.
But I've never visited my brother's grave, except a few times. I've just had drinks at a street food stall. I've rarely properly observed the anniversary of his death. And those who knew me have always questioned me. They asked why I didn't commemorate the anniversary of his death, when I cared so much for him. I always gave them the same answer.
‘Because of guilt.’
Because of the guilt and regret of having survived alone, I couldn't bring myself to stand in front of my younger brother's grave.
“You don’t need to take a vacation. We’re currently under a ceasefire, and the enemy could invade at any moment. I don’t think I can take a vacation.”
“…Okay. I was just asking just in case. You can go now.”
As I was about to leave after the salute, Captain Kim Nam-jun called me over once more and added something.
“Golmaeya.”
“Sergeant Songgolmae. What’s the matter, Captain?”
“Don’t overthink it, you can put down your burden now.”
“…”
What did the captain want to say to me?
“…I will keep that in mind.”
I answered without even knowing what it meant and headed to the training ground.
***