“Miss, I don’t know what’s going on, but if you keep doing this in the middle of summer, you’ll die from the heat. I’ve been watching you for a while now, and I’m telling you, if you keep doing this, you’ll seriously die. Get up quickly. Look at all the sweat. And do something about that worn-out scarf. I’m wondering if I’m being rude, but I can’t just pass by because you look so much like my daughter.”
“Just leave it be. She’ll wake up on her own when the time comes, and just go on your way. Whether I’m your daughter or not, it doesn’t seem like the old lady’s words about being nosy are false.”
“I don’t know what’s going on that’s making you stand there like this, but you’re really going to die if you keep doing this. I thought you’d wake up on your own when the time comes, but if I waited, I thought you’d collapse in this heat first.”
He told me to turn it off. He didn't even show his anger, but rather, he kept arguing with Guwon, who spoke so harshly that it was embarrassing. He eventually helped Guwon up and entered the building. The temperature difference inside the building caused the windows to fog up, and the water droplets that had accumulated were swept away one by one, dripping down. As he gasped for breath, a cough escaped him as if he was startled.
“Hey, are you okay? Should I get you some water?”
“.... Ah. It’s okay.”
Despite his silent refusal, the woman stilled, swallowing the silence. Guwon, tears streaming down his face, took the water and drank it down, gulping it down. The woman looked at him with concern for a moment, then hesitated and told him to rest. Guwon bit his lip and grabbed his sleeve.
“Are you busy right now?”
"This old man is so busy, he doesn't have time. If you have something to say, just say it. Only by getting it out there can people feel better."
Guwon finally held back his tears and began to tell the story of Sangseolsu. He listened quietly for a long time to the passages that were not entirely calm.
That kid has been by my side for quite some time.
My mom killed my dad and went to jail, so I was sent to an orphanage when I was twelve. I was the most hated child there. Or rather, I was treated like one. I wasn't just abandoned; my mom was my dad's murderer. She was also the one who threatened and harassed me at the drop of a hat. Every day was hell. Everyone else was miserable anyway, so they needed the most pitiful and pitiful child, and I just so happened to be there. The treatment I received at the orphanage wasn't all that different. If I had to compare, it's just that the intensity was different.
“Salvation, salvation!”
That girl saved me from the repetitive boredom of wandering around like a broken doll. So how could I forget? I was just spinning around aimlessly, staring into space, unfocused. Then, when she called my name, I turned around and in that moment, everything changed dazzlingly. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't forget.
Strangely, on that day, when the sky was filled with white clouds even on a day that was supposed to be rainy, I really missed her face until I closed my eyes. So I called her in the middle of the night. I really missed her. I saw her across the street, and I was excited and running towards her when she rushed over and pushed me. I fell backwards, and she collapsed in front of me.
I laughed.Dying in my place, actually dying, dying in the end.
Foolishly, I couldn't even shed a tear. I was so sad that I couldn't even shed a single tear, so I just silently broke down and sobbed.
I'm still this broken. I can't live without you. Yeonjun, please. I thought you were my savior, but in the end, you came to ruin me.
When I opened my eyes and turned my head, I was still at the tennis court, and what I saw before my eyes was winter. There was nothing and no one beside me. Why? Could it be that what I saw wasn't all a lie, or was it an illusion?
I don't have the confidence to love anymore, but I still love you.