A short piece on a long spring day
Park Filter
“Diary..?”
I stopped by the library to do some work, and by chance I picked up someone's diary that had fallen on the floor.The writing style was concise and simple, written in small letters, and at first glance, it seemed like it was written by a boy. It was too few lines to be called a diary.It was a short, unfinished scribble, but still, someone's emotions were vividly captured in the writing. As if possessed, I turned the bookshelf.As I was reading the articles, I was able to get a brief glimpse into the boy's daily life. He was a student just like me.And that the child has a minor illness. It's a little sad and mysterious to learn of the illness of someone you don't even know.It made me feel strange. I stood still for a moment, as if the flow of time and space had stopped.
"Hey, I think that's mine."
When I turned around at the sound of a voice directed at me, there was a boy standing there who seemed to be the owner of the diary.
- Oh, sorry.
"Did you see that?"
- ..no
A silence flowed between them.
I was not used to that short silence, so I quickly left the place.
'I guess I'll never see your face again.'
I calmed my mind by repeating this to myself.
.
.
.
Two months have passed since that incident.
The first day of school, which seemed like it would never come, has already arrived.
It had been quite some time since the noisy classroom scene. As the assembly time approached, the children became quiet as if nothing had happened.There it was. The classroom door opened and the teacher, announcing a new beginning, came in.
"Hello, Class 9! I'm your new homeroom teacher..."
As I met my new teacher, I suddenly remembered something that happened two months ago. I'm sure that kid was around my age.
After the teacher finished his introduction, he said.
"We have a new transfer student in our class from day one. This will be his first time at our school, so I hope you guys can help him out."
With those words, the classroom door opened. And then,
A familiar face entered the classroom.
"hi."
I never dreamed I would see that child again.
"My name is Park Jimin."
I guess the saying that one brush with someone is fate is true.
"Jimin... go sit in the back seat by the window."
The long inquiry is over.
After being dumbfounded for a while, the kid started talking to me.
"Diary... Is that him?
I nodded absentmindedly, and the child smiled brightly. He didn't look sick at all.
After that, I hardly ever spoke to that kid. I was the type to quietly read books in class, and that kid was always hanging out with his friends wherever he went.
Because we were together. We were like the people who are commonly called 'sa-in'. Sometimes I felt envious of that, but I didn't really show it.It wasn't. By April, about a month later, I had learned a lot about him. He was walking the same direction as me.And that emotions are clearly expressed on the face. It was the result of watching the child closely while pretending to read a book. That kind of routine repeats itself.That day, I mustered up my courage. I promised myself that I would say hello to that kid on my way home. After school, I slowly walked.As I was walking very slowly, I suddenly realized that the child was behind me.I stopped walking and looked back, and the child was startled.He stopped walking as if he was surprised.
I'm sorry for leaving without saying anything.
I couldn't understand why I was only now talking about something that happened so long ago.
"It's okay, I was a little surprised back then."
Even the child who accepted my apology couldn't understand.
"You know, I wanted to talk to you, but you were always reading a book..."
"Let's be friends."
He said that and smiled shyly, which suited the cherry blossoms of April very well.
.
It didn't take long to become close with him.
As I became closer to him, the time we spent together gradually increased.
However, his illness only served to tear us apart. Not long after we became close, his illness became even moreAs his condition worsened, he had no choice but to be hospitalized. After school, I quickly went to visit him.When I opened the hospital room door, I saw him lying alone.
He turned around at the sound of people, and when he saw me, he did as usual.He smiled and waved at me. But his smile wasn't as bright as before. For some reason, he looked so small.He looked shabby. I slowly approached him and took his hand. I felt his body heat for a while in silence. He was the first to speak.He spoke softly, his voice trembling slightly.
"..what would you do if you knew when you were going to die?"
No words came out of my mouth, because I knew perfectly well what he wanted to say.
I let go of the hand I was holding and looked into his eyes.
I once read in a book that you can tell a person's emotions by looking at their eyes.His eyes held so many emotions that I couldn't even begin to fathom. All I could do was stay by his side.There was nothing else to say. I spoke before he could.
- Jimin, let's go see the cherry blossoms. The cherry blossoms are really pretty these days.
He just nodded and said nothing.
.
His hospital stay was not very long.
About two weeks later, on that spring day when cherry blossoms were in full bloom, he was discharged from the hospital. He must have missed the outside so much that he was jumping up and down.We ran around. As soon as we were discharged from the hospital, we left in a hurry to see the cherry blossoms. Wherever we went, it was covered in pink.The trees stood in a row. The scenery was breathtakingly beautiful. It was so beautiful that no words could be uttered.He looked at me, who kept on admiring me, and then hesitantly put something in my hand.
- ..What is this, a diary?
I looked at his diary again. He smiled and spoke softly.
"gift."
- This is... your diary.
I looked at him as if to ask what he meant, but he just smiled.
"Go home and open it. Don't try to look at it now."
After he finished speaking, he seemed to be muttering quietly to himself, but his voice was so small that I couldn't hear him clearly.
"Today was really fun. This is probably the happiest day of my life."
So, our cherry blossom tour ended.
After breaking up with Jimin, I returned home exhausted. I lay down on the bed without even changing my clothes.Suddenly, I remembered the gift he gave me. I slowly opened his diary. At the very beginning of the diary, there was a message addressed to me.There was writing that looked like a horse.
"Read from the very end. Read the diary later."
What the... It's a diary, why do I have to look at it later?
I muttered and opened the last page of my diary. The first sentence on that densely written page was, surprisingly,My name was written on it.
To the heroine
Actually, I thought that our meeting at the library was just a passing relationship, but looking back, weI felt like we were destined to meet somehow. When I saw you reading my diary...I felt really embarrassed because it felt like my true feelings had been revealed. But now that I've actually been found out, I feel a little relieved, right?
I find it a bit odd that you're the first person besides my parents to know about my illness. So I'm definitely going to see you again. I wanted to. That's why.. I saw your student ID that you dropped and transferred to your school.I was going to return it, but after school started, you had already gotten a new student ID. It sounds like an excuse, but that's whyI couldn't give it back. That's why I've been keeping an eye on you, but I often thought that you were the complete opposite of me.I tend to get easily hurt and irritated by small things, but you just ignore it as if nothing happened. That affects me.I tried to do the same, but it wasn't easy. At that time... I think I just absentmindedly thought about it. What would you have done?I wonder if he passed away without any trouble.. What I did to you last timeQuestion: I heard from the doctor that day. He told me I had less than two months left to live. My hair literally turned white.
But I felt like I had to tell you anyway, so I asked you indirectly, but you changed the subject. On the other hand, I was grateful.And. I really envied your personality, but not anymore. I just like the fact that you have that kind of personality.What if you were to spend the last days with me? As I was thinking about that, I suddenly had a feeling.I like you. That was actually the purpose of writing this letter, but it's gotten too long. I was wondering how to say it.I'm too embarrassed to tell you in person... If it's okay, I'd like you to decorate my last.
.
I can't quite recall the feeling I had the moment I read that sentence. I just closed my diary and ran to his house.It was a longer distance than I thought, but I ran without thinking and arrived at his house in no time.As I reached out to ring the doorbell, he opened the door and came out onto the porch. His expression was as if he was asking why I was there.When I saw it, tears flowed in my eyes out of relief.
I was so scared and terrified that he had less than a month left to live.
"What's wrong, I'm not dead.."
I wonder if he knows that I miss him so much, with his playful smile.
-i like you.
"..."
He was silent for a while. And then
"Me too, I like it too."
If I'm with you,
I think I can finish this short piece on a long spring day.