“Jongdae!”
Baekhyun called my name.
I knew everyone was surprised to see me here. Except for one person, who didn't notice my presence and was still busy with his own business. Since it was already too late, I forced myself to greet them, "Hi, everyone." I walked over to them with a wide smile; forced. Maybe more like a grimace. My heart ached. I wouldn't lie and say I was fine when the source of my happiness was so openly hurting me. "What are you guys going to do?" I glanced at Chanyeol, who was shocked to find me here.
“Hey, Jongdae. It’s rare for you to come here, I didn’t expect it.”
Chanyeol pushed the scantily clad woman almost to the ground. Then he stood awkwardly facing me, saliva staining the corner of his lips. Perhaps noticing my attention, Chanyeol wiped them carelessly. The cold night breeze prickled my skin as Lay suddenly wrapped his arm around my shoulders.
"Just stare blankly. Come on, sit down," he invited. I didn't respond to the man who had brought me here. But when the man born on October 7th dragged me away from Chanyeol, I could only resignedly follow him. I glanced at Chanyeol in disappointment. The look in his eyes, a look I could never interpret, was now staring blankly at me.
I should be disappointed in him, right? But my stupid heart and brain still held out hope. The power of love and trust can change someone for the better, right? I really hoped.
“How stupid are you?”
Lay sat me down between the neatly stacked bus tires while Xiumin was cursing at Kai.
“I shouldn’t have lent you my motorbike, it’s too late now.” Xiumin sat down listlessly with his eyes staring at Kai fiercely.
“I don’t know!” Kai made a peace gesture with his index and middle fingers. He looked at the monoloid-eyed man regretfully. “I’m sorry, okay?”Hyung?”
"Don't forgive so easily, or they'll easily do the same thing to you again!" I turned to Kyungsoo, who was shouting, provoking me. I grimaced, my stomach churning uncomfortably as those words seemed to hit me squarely in the face.
“I agree with Kyungsoo,” Luhan replied. “Right, Chanyeol?”
My heart felt like it stopped beating at that very moment, as my blood flow suddenly stopped. I tried to distract myself by staring at my shoes when the name struck me like thunder. Waiting for Chanyeol's answer to Luhan's question, a question I wasn't ready to hear. But my body went limp. The man's voice never came. Maybe staying silent was better than saying a word, right?
Curious, I raised my head again. “Hik.”
My body felt as if it were no longer in its place as the figure towered over me. His face was expressionless, a stark contrast to the one that had once captured my attention. I should have realized this when I first saw his true form, but my subconscious still forced me to reject everything I'd ever seen.
I hiccuped again when Chanyeol gripped my wrist so tightly, it was as if he was really channeling all his frustration at me through it. He dragged me away from his hangout, my unprepared feet almost tripping, but Chanyeol seemed to realize that and dragged my hand even harder. “I still want—”
“Can you be quiet?”
My body jerked as soon as Chanyeol yelled at me. I should be the one who was angry, right? But—I should be the one who was angry seeing my girlfriend kissing someone else in a public place like this! If this wasn't a public place and there were lots of people, wouldn't they have done something much more intimate? I should be the one who was angry, yelling at him and dragging him away from here! I should be—
I can't! I can't do all the things I think, it's all in my mind, my whole body and soul are chained by Chanyeol, I'm no longer a free person, I'm chained.
I bit my lower lip as Chanyeol roughly handed me the helmet, silently ordering me to put it on. It was just a sharp stare when I realized what he meant. There were so many things I wanted to say to him. But the universe seemed unwilling to give me permission.
The sound of motorcycles echoed around the spot I'd just stopped. My head instinctively turned, wide-eyed in confusion as so many motorcyclists sped past, wrecking the place. Chanyeol's friends, who were still there, stood there, their fists clenched in anger. Some of them tried to fight back, either by throwing their feet or hands, but they always missed.
I let out another squeal of pain as Chanyeol suddenly put the helmet I'd been holding on to on me. Without warning, he pulled me up and made me ride on his back. "What the hell is going on?"
“Just shut up and go along,” Chanyeol replied curtly.
I hugged his waist tightly and rested my head on his shoulder as the motorbike sped off at high speed. My body felt like it was floating, buffeted by the merciless wind, all the wind seemed to penetrate my clothes and seep into my blood through my pores. My hands clutched his clothes in fear with my eyes tightly closed as Chanyeol drove his motorbike recklessly. My body felt like it was flying, repeatedly jerking and it hurt so much, especially my butt. I tried my best to hold back my nausea, this wasn't the first time Chanyeol had taken me on a crazy ride on his motorbike, but unfortunately, I still wasn't used to it.
Everything, in my head, right now is just like a scary dream where my hand muscles are aching to hold on or I will fall and die in the middle of the road because I am run over by a truck.
Inside my closed eyes, there was only darkness with random flashes. Then, suddenly, the speed and roar of the motorcycle I was riding slowed. I remained in my current position; it was comfortable, and I had no intention of moving until the figure I was hugging shook his shoulder in discomfort.
I lifted my head. I saw Chanyeol taking off his helmet. I looked around in confusion as Chanyeol got off his motorcycle. Hurriedly, I took off my helmet and followed him into, errr... his house.
No one lives here except Chanyeol.
Chanyeol turned on the light switch and walked towards the kitchen. I followed him silently, wanting to ask what had happened to his friends, but not yet! I didn't have the courage yet. There was only silence, um, maybe the sound of our footsteps as the only melody. On the other hand, I was curious about the people who attacked me.basecampChanyeol earlier, but on the other hand, that kiss is still in my mind. When I think about it, my heart suddenly aches, especially when I see his seemingly innocent face. Maybe it's better to wait for Chanyeol to bring it up first than to look for trouble—
“What did you want to say when you asked me to meet?”
I jumped in surprise. “Eh?” My gaze, which had been staring at his back, was suddenly met with the sight of his broad chest. Even though we were both so far apart in height, I only needed to look up slightly to see his face, which, unfortunately, I couldn’t do. This was too cowardly!
Wait, that's right. I had something to tell him this afternoon, but it all got put on hold due to a damn misunderstanding—wait! Was Chanyeol's kiss with that girl also misunderstood? Like Sehun and I in the park? But what if it all happened for real?
I winced with my hand touching my flat stomach.
Chanyeol frowned. “Are you hungry, Dae?”
I shook my head with a faint smile. Uh, Chanyeol called me by my nickname, and it was enough to make the deepest corner of my heart cheer with joy, it felt like there were giant butterflies playing around in my stomach and brain again.
Chanyeol opened the contents of his refrigerator. He took out several packages.ramyeonand meat. I took the initiative to heat some water when the voice I'd been liking for the past year said, "Are you cheating on me with your own cousin?"
That question seemed to corner me when I should be the one who was angry here!
“What do you mean, Chan?” I asked in disbelief. A corner of my heart told me that Chanyeol was looking down on me, but on the other hand, I also felt guilty even though I fully knew it wasn’t my fault, it was all Sehun’s fault!
Chanyeol took a deep breath. "Do you have anything to say about the hug and kiss earlier? I saw it with my own eyes!" Chanyeol's voice rose.
“Isn’t it the other way around?” I turned off the stove, turned around, and glared at him. Those round eyes that were usually my favorite were now staring at me with annoyance. “I saw you kissing someone else in the living room.”basecamp!In front of your friends who I also know well!” I didn’t raise my voice any less, “and besides, are you crazy to accuse me of cheating on you with Sehun? You know we’re siblings, how could I do that to him!”
Chanyeol rubbed his face roughly. “And you’re using that as an excuse to get revenge for cheating on me, Kim Jongdae?”
“I didn’t do it! I still respect and love you so much!” I exploded with anger. I’d had enough of being the good guy. “I should be the one telling you why you cheated on me! This isn’t the first time, Park Chanyeol!”
“Dae, you don't understand.”
“What don’t I understand? Fulfilling all your selfish desires!”
Chanyeol walked past the bantri (a small barrier between us). I panicked and stepped back, away from him. However, his long legs easily caught up to me. His palm gripped my wrist. I held back a wince with all my might. This wasn't the first time we'd fought, and Chanyeol always got physical!
I could see Chanyeol's eyes turn red with anger. I was already quite used to seeing this devilish figure.
Chanyeol brought his face closer to mine. The sound of his labored breath was palpable against my skin.
“I love you so much.” Chanyeol’s tone softened. “But you always leave me behind in everything!”
I reflexively released his grip and covered my eardrums. I squeezed my eyes shut, terrified. I cried silently. My chest tightened, and it hurt so much when someone you love yells at you in such annoyance.
“Hey, hey, why are you crying?” The tone of his voice changed again. Then, he hugged me tightly, as if I was going to leave him, while my head was buried in his broad chest. His hand stroked my hair gently, his lips kissed my forehead several times. “I’m sorry, okay?” Chanyeol pleaded, as I tried my best not to break down again. “It was my fault.”
I never really understood him.
I was still sobbing as Chanyeol led me into his room. He pulled me back into his arms, laying me down with my head on his chest. “I’m sorry,” he repeated.
This is what keeps me going. Hoping that his apology and remorse aren't just bubbles in the ocean that he'll repeat over and over again.
“I’m sorry,” Chanyeol whispered. “That woman… I made a mistake, and I won’t do it again.”
Two months ago you said the same thing, right?
But, I always believe that one day you will change into a better person.
I started to hold my breath as Chanyeol started kissing the crook of my neck. His warm breath made me shiver. His kisses trailed down my collarbone to my chest.
I hate to say this, but my muscles would instantly become weak and powerless whenever Chanyeol stimulated my body. The two hands I used to prevent Chanyeol's body from pressing further against mine were in vain. Chanyeol took off my cardigan, leaving my upper body clearly visible before his eyes.
“I love your body,” Chanyeol complimented. “No matter how many times I see it, I’ll still adore it.”
But somehow, the compliment felt like a heartbreaking confession to my ears. Instead of blushing and responding to his sweet words, I felt humiliated by his lustful gaze, which seemed to tear every inch of my body apart.
Chanyeol brought his face closer to mine. Kissing my lips without permission, and I foolishly allowed this impolite guest to enter and ravage my oral cavity. I closed my eyes tightly while my two arms were already wrapped perfectly around Chanyeol's neck. The south side of my body hardened, especially when Chanyeol's, which had bent down, nudged mine. My fingernails turned white from gripping too tightly to neutralize the turmoil within me.
This time I won't fall for him, right?
A moan suddenly escaped my lips as Chanyeol's cool hands gently caressed my body. His left hand caressed my back while his right played with my nipples. He was the first, and he was also the one who accustomed my body to all the hot touches that were once foreign to me.
I pulled my legs away when I felt Chanyeol's hands trying to undo my pants. I tried to open my eyes when I was clearly still in the throes of a heady illusion caused by the love god's caresses, who now held me captive under his might.
I shook my head. “Chan,” I said sadly. This isn’t right. What we’ve been doing isn’t right!
Chanyeol ignored my hand that prevented him from undoing my jeans. He was used to sticking to his own desires without caring what others said.
“Hmm?”
My whole body shivered as Chanyeol managed to remove my pants in one swift motion, leaving me naked except for my underwear.
“Chanyeol stop, this isn't right.”
The flash of anger swept across his eyes again. Then the grin appeared as he tilted his head.
“Jongdae,” Chanyeol called hoarsely, “we’ve been doing this ever since we first started dating, and you’re just now saying that what we’re doing isn’t right?” Chanyeol chuckled. “Are you going to be a hypocrite and dump me after all the pleasure I’ve given you, hmm?”
Somehow my hand landed smoothly on Chanyeol's cheek, making the corner of his lips bleed slightly from the mark of my palm.
Chanyeol held his cheek. Still unmoving, his lips smiled even wider, revealing a row of pearly white teeth.
My heartbeat was so intense that even my ears could hear it. Chanyeol's body felt like a wild animal, encircling me.
I squeezed my eyes shut as Chanyeol's hand swung back, returning my slap. One, two, three, ten. Chanyeol continued slapping my cheeks alternately. The "slap" sound and my groan were the only sounds in the room. Until I don't know how many slaps Chanyeol decided to stop, my head felt incredibly dizzy. My cheeks felt numb with a heat that gradually spread to my stomach.
My vision blurred as I caught Chanyeol unzipping his pants. I instinctively recoiled, but I realized it was all for naught when I felt the headboard touch my back.
“Oww,” I whimpered as Chanyeol roughly grabbed and pulled my wrist. “I want to go home,” I begged.
“Yes, Dae. After I punish you for your mischief.” Chanyeol’s voice was deep and hoarse. As if warning me that he was the one in charge here, and I, as a helpless duckling, had better obey if I didn’t want to be killed by a full-grown tiger.
I once again didn't have the courage to argue when Chanyeol was filled with lust, he touched every inch of my body fiercely, kissing mercilessly what had been branded as his.
There was nothing I could do when Chanyeol's penetrated me other than closing my eyes with tears streaming down my face.
I'm not ready, and Chanyeol won't care about that.
“Oh, Dae. I’m lucky to have you, your body always knows how to please my little one.” Chanyeol babbled in between thrusts.
Normally, I'd blush whenever Chanyeol complimented me, except now. I was so sick of everything we'd been doing!
My hands gripped the sheets tightly as Chanyeol moved his hips even harder, making my body beneath him bounce even more erratically. I could no longer hide the moans I'd been desperately holding back. I let the disgusting sounds spill out, filling the room, clashing with Chanyeol's own.
I caught my breath for a moment when Chanyeol stopped. He stared at my face for a moment with a wistful look, feeling guilty. “I’m sorry.”
I know those words sounded much more sincere than before. However, that didn't last long as Chanyeol resumed his activities: fucking me. Hahaha, maybe the world knows that I'm just a tool for his lust?
“Oh, shit!You're squeezing me so tight, honey!”
Can? Hahaha.
“Hmmaaaah.” I was fully conscious. My body and Chanyeol’s shook simultaneously, we found our release together. My breaths and Chanyeol’s ragged ones gradually slowed. I could see him smile before finally collapsing onto me. He embraced me, slowly and gently. As if he didn’t want to hurt me.
“I know I was wrong,” Chanyeol whispered suddenly, “so please forgive me, Dae. Forget about our fight.” Chanyeol touched my cheeks gently, kissing them softly with his warm breath hitting my skin. “I will heal the wounds I caused.”
I stared at his face, so close to mine. I stroked his black hair lovingly. "You always promised."and never occupied it.
Chanyeol shook his head. “You always give me a chance, please give me that chance again.” He hid his face in the crook of my neck, inhaling deeply and exhaling his warm breath again.
I lowered my hand. Letting him lose. “The stock might be out,” I said honestly, “the factory hasn’t given any more.”
“Is there anything I can do to make your patience factory give me something?restock?"Chanyeol lifted his face; staring at me intently.
My chest is pounding. Is this the time?
Chanyeol's pair of brown eyes seemed to give me confidence.
I pushed him off me. At first, Chanyeol resisted, but I kept pushing. I could see his sweaty, bare body as he sat cross-legged. I took his hand and guided it to my flat stomach.
Chanyeol's brow furrowed in confusion. "You're actually hungry?" he asked as my stomach growled. "Why didn't you tell me earlier? Did you skip your noodles yesterday too, Dae?"
I winced.Damn it!
I shook my head slowly. It was obvious that my face was flushed with both annoyance and embarrassment.
"So?"
“I’m pregnant.” It was just a soft whisper as Chanyeol reflexively pulled his hand away from my stomach.
For a moment, the atmosphere in the room turned empty. Chanyeol's expression, devoid of any expression, made my stomach churn.
Is my decision right?
But when that wide smile adorned his face, I don't know where that happiness came from, my entire chest cavity felt like it was filled with oxygen, I thought for a moment that maybe we would have happiness in a unique way.
"Whether-"
"Just drop it then."
🥀🥀🥀