For several days, I didn't go to the cafe. It didn't rain, and the wind was still. Yet, my steps kept hesitating. Minho's expression after that walk lingered in my mind.
'You shouldn't say things like that so easily.'
Those words, blurted out, felt like a rejection of my feelings. No, more precisely... it sounded like he didn't trust himself.
The stuffed cat was still on my desk. The small favor I'd asked her to keep it safe so Dori wouldn't get stuck. The care contained in that one request came back to me more clearly now.
The café I returned to after a few days was still quiet. The familiar ringing of the bell, and Minho's brief greeting as he turned his head.
“…You’re here.”
I didn't laugh. He didn't laugh either. We felt awkward, like it had been a long time, like it was the first time again. Dori approached me first. The familiar weight of her body resting on my lap made me feel a little relieved.
Yet, Minho didn't say a word. Even the hand pouring the coffee was slower and more cautious than usual.
After a while, I asked cautiously.
“Did I do something wrong that day?”
He put his coffee down on the table and looked up.
“No. It’s just… I felt uncomfortable.”
“Um... So it wasn’t because of me, but because of what I said?”
Minho hesitated for a moment, then nodded.
“People… once told me I was warm. Before.”
At those words, I held my breath.
His gaze drifted away, and his voice dropped low.
“When I heard that, I realized that I really was that kind of person.
So I tried to do better, I tried to reach out more… "
"But in the end, that's what happened when that person left.
“I expected more from you, but I ended up lonelier.”
He smiled faintly, but the smile was dry.
“From that day on, whenever someone tells me I’m warm, I get scared.
“I’m afraid they’ll find out that I’m not really that kind of person.”
I couldn't say anything. It was the first time he'd spoken so much. That must mean the wound was deep.
"however…"
Minho looked at me quietly.
“When you said that, it didn’t hurt like that.”
“I was a little… grateful.”
I blinked.
The look in his eyes had definitely changed.
“Then why did you suddenly draw the line that day?”
He answered with a small exhale.
“If I keep expecting it… I’m afraid it’ll fall apart again.”
"I'm sorry. I was scared."
“But… after that day, I ended up waiting instead.
“For no reason… I was worried that you wouldn’t come.”
With that short confession, my heart began to relax little by little.
My emotions, which had been trying not to drift apart even a little, began to quietly lean on his words.
As he left the cafe, Minho paused for a moment in front of the door.
“I used to be a person who really liked people.”
He explained himself for the first time.
“But once I got sick… it became difficult to like things again.
But now… it keeps falling apart.”
I spoke quietly, holding the cat doll in my arms.
“If Minho falls apart, I’ll be there for him.”
He nodded without saying anything.
The courage contained in that short nod.
That was definitely different from yesterday.
Dory was dozing off inside the glass window.
A person who is more careful than a cat and warmer than a cat.
I was getting to know that person again.