Anyway, I'm not the one who went
Are you rotten and decaying inside, but you're pretending to smile on the outside? Is that better?
High school freshman. Exam D-2
Classroom. A window slit by afternoon sunlight. The female protagonist sits with her arms propped on the desk. She bites her lip and frowns slightly.
하연
"Hey, why are you so weak? Are you tired?"
최여주
(Smiling slightly) “Yeah… My mouth is sore… It hurts so much.”
Every time I spoke, my inner flesh would brush against me and ache.
Still, I had to smile. That was the heroine's old habit.
(The heroine cautiously approaches the teacher's seat.)
“Teacher… My mouth hurts so much… I think I’ll have to leave work early today.”
The female lead felt embarrassed while talking because she thought she was the first child to tell her homeroom teacher that her mouth hurt.
담임
"Really? You're not hurt anywhere? Okay. Be careful on the way in."
(Then Yubin speaks.)
유빈
“Huh? I’m not feeling well either… I want to leave work early too. Let’s go together.”
최여주
"Okay, then let's go together."
(The moment she returns to her seat, Dayeon narrows her eyes.)
다연
(Snickering) "Are you really sick? Aren't you going to study?"
For a moment, my breath was taken away.
At the beginning of the semester, Dayeon subtly boasted about how well she'd studied in middle school. (The female protagonist always hung out with Dayeon, Jiyu, Hayeon, and Yubin in class.)
Dayeon became the class president like that.
But when he entered high school, he seemed to be dissatisfied with the fact that Yeoju was the top student in the class.
희주
(Half joking, half serious) "Hey, open your mouth. Let's see if it really hurts."
최여주
(Laughing awkwardly) “Well… I don’t think I can see it very well…” (Still, like an idiot, I open my mouth as I’m told.)
희주
(Tilts head) "I don't know?"
다연
"So~ who would leave work early because their mouth hurts? LOL"
Why do you do this to me when you don't say anything to Yubin, who also leaves work early?
I just laughed it off, but behind that smile, my heart tightened.
최여주
Again. Will it be the same as that time?
최여주
Why were my school days like this… .
최여주
Is it just me...
최여주
Am I weird?…
(Yeoju and Yubin leave the classroom carrying their bags.)
유빈
(Nonchalantly) "Let's go and rest quickly."
최여주
(Forced smile) "Yeah…"
On the way home, the children's expressions kept coming to mind.
최여주
They were the first kids I became close with when I came to high school, and I thought I had opened up to them…
최여주
I guess it was another mistake.
오후 9:29
(Evening. Yeoju, lying in bed, picks up her cell phone and calls Dongmin.)
한동민
(Transparent voice) "Why aren't you studying for the test?"
최여주
“…No, I just wanted to talk about something that happened today.”
Tmi) Dongmin and Yeoju are in different classes.
한동민
“I heard you left work early..”
최여주
"Yeah. I left work early because my mouth was so sore and it hurt so much."
최여주
“But when the kids say their friend is sick, instead of asking ‘Are you okay?’ they say ‘Aren’t you going to study?’”
한동민
(Pause) “…How childish.”
최여주
“Right? Even though it seems like nothing special… it still makes me feel bad.”
한동민
"If it were me, I would just chew it out."
최여주
(sigh mixed with laughter) “Well, that’s because it’s you… I just laughed. Like an idiot.”
한동민
"It's not that you're stupid, it's that they're bad."
최여주
(After a brief pause) “…and Hee-joo, who I thought we were close with… told me to open my mouth, so I really opened it.”
한동민
"?!……Hey, did you do that again?"
최여주
“No, that’s… I just couldn’t refuse for a moment.”
최여주
“I know it’s obvious… If you don’t earn money there, you’ll look like someone who really wants to study.”
한동민
“No,,, but why are you opening your mouth… He’s not a hospital doctor, what do you know?”
Dongmin is feeling a little frustrated now.
최여주
(laughs awkwardly) “Right… I was stupid, wasn’t I?”
한동민
"Yeah. It's just... you're the problem because you're just getting beaten up too much."
(a moment of silence)
한동민
“But that… it’s not your fault. It’s just that they’re weird.”
최여주
"…thank you."
한동민
"Next time you hear something like that, just ignore it. Or call me... No, even if you do, I won't say anything."
Although the tone was rough, the sincerity contained within it was conveyed.
I was suddenly moved to tears, so my voice became smaller.
최여주
"…huh"
The female protagonist thinks to herself 100 times that she is glad she has a friend.
Dongmin always tells Yeoju that she did nothing wrong, but…
The female protagonist always thinks that it is her fault first.
That's probably because of the gaslighting from the bad kids that's been going on since middle school.
Even though Dongmin knows that, he just always tells her that it's not Yeoju's fault.
The day after the exam is over to decide on the performance group.
Yeoju decides to team up with Dayeon, Jiyu, Yubin, and Hayeon, who are in the same group.
[The day before the performance, 8th period self-study time]
Yeo-ju turns her head to show Ha-yeon something funny in her workbook, but she's not there.
최여주
“Huh? Where did Hayeon go…?”
I raise my head, look around, and then go out the door.
Hayeon, Jiyu, Yubin, and Dayeon are sitting together in front of the class.
최여주
"What are you guys doing??“
다연
"We were discussing our practice."
최여주
“…I’m in the same group too, why didn’t you call me???”
There is genuine bewilderment in the heroine's voice.
다연
"No, you should have been more conscious."
Is this what you mean? How can you know what they're doing and come out so tactfully?
I was so absorbed in my self-study that I didn't even notice the kids leaving...
최여주
“Park Da-yeon is about to leave… But performance is directly linked to grades, so isn’t this a bit off?” the female lead thought to herself.
Dayeon has always shown a wary look when it comes to sexual matters.
The rest of Jiyu, Yubin, and Hayeon don't have any bad feelings towards each other, so they can't understand why they didn't call them.
(The female protagonist decides to just ignore it and joins the discussion.)
최여주
‘If I think about it now... it seems like it'll only ruin my performance... I just have to endure it one more time..’
The female protagonist also suppresses her emotions and does not express them.
[Next day, performance time]
The practice of memorizing and writing down the characteristics of the region you have researched, such as its climate and festivals.
The female protagonist was confident in memorizing even though there was a lot of material.
As the female lead continues to speak, the other girls in the same group (Dayeon, Jiyu, Yubin, Hayeon) are amazed.
유빈
"Wow, you really memorized it all."
지유
"This is a lot of sheep, it's amazing."
다연
“Choi Yeo-ju, you memorized it?”
최여주
“Uh… because it’s training.”
At that moment, Yeoju feels that Dayeon's words are a little rude.
"It's a training session, so shouldn't it be done? Why do you keep ignoring me?"
다연
“I’m really bad at memorizing things like this… This is amazing.”
Suddenly… I felt a sense of relief at the nuance of acknowledging myself, so I decided to cover up my feelings of being offended.
(After the performance, the results were announced. The teacher was strict with grading, but only Yeoju Jo got 100 points.)
지유
"Wow, we're the only ones with 100 points!"
Anyway, since it was 100 points... The female protagonist decided to keep quiet and suppress her upset feelings.
오후 9:00
[On the way home from school, with Dongmin]
Although Yeoju was always smiling, Dongmin, who was quick-witted, noticed that Yeoju was not in a good mood.
한동민
"What are you doing today?"
최여주
"what?"
한동민
"You're laughing, but you're not laughing. Tell me."
최여주
“…You formed a training group? Me, Dayeon, Jiyu, Yubin, and Hayeon. But the day before, the kids were talking about training, but I wasn’t invited.”
The female protagonist, who secretly hoped that Dongmin would comfort her, decided that this was the moment and started to speak out about her grievances in rapid succession.
한동민
"why?"
최여주
"I don't know. Dayeon said, 'You should have been more conscious when you came out.' But I was studying by myself and didn't even realize the kids had left."
한동민
"Ha... That's crazy. Is that what you're talking about?"
최여주
"Right? But I just let it go. I have to practice."
Dongmin, feeling frustrated, blurts out the words he had been hiding.
한동민
(Stopping) "Hey, why do you always just ignore it? It's the same old pattern over and over again."
최여주
"Then what? Are you going to make me feel uncomfortable?"
한동민
"So? You're rotten and decaying inside, but you're pretending to smile on the outside? Is that better?"
최여주
“How could I do that? It’d be even more awkward if I said it. And they’re the first kids I became close with in high school, so how could I do that?”
최여주
“Knowing how much I struggled in groups (when I was in middle school)…”
한동민
"But I still have to say what I have to say. Just saying that... Ha... It's so frustrating..."
(Dongmin's voice was louder than usual. Yeoju took it in stride for a moment.)
It seemed like the anger Yeo-ju had been holding back for so long was directed not at Dayeon but at Dong-min.
최여주
“…What do you know?”
최여주
“And why are you so angry at me today?”
한동민
"Hey, I've been watching you for four years. You always just put up with it. But do you think that's cool? No? You look stupid."
최여주
(exasperated) "Idiot? Wow… thank you, really. Is that a consolation?"
한동민
"Comfort? Are you just looking for comfort right now? Aren't you looking for solutions?"
최여주
"Yeah, I just wanted you to listen. If you're a friend, you can listen!"
It feels like a typical T and F conversation..? Dongmin is INTJ and Yeoju is INFJ.
한동민
"I'm saying this because we're friends, you idiot!"
(The heroine felt a pang of emotion for a moment, but instead of speaking, she quickened her steps.)
최여주
"Okay. I'll just go."
한동민
“…..go.”
(The two walk in different directions at the crosswalk. As they move away, they both glance back, but they never speak.)
작가
Have you seen HanTsan's T-like moment? ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
작가
If only I had a friend like Han Dong-min, I would have been okay... sigh... ..ㅠㅠ
작가
I really want to have a friend like Han Dong-min…
작가
When you go to high school, the battle of nerves over grades is no joke…
작가
Even though she was a close friend who hung out with Dayeon, I see that she had negative feelings towards Yeo-ju… .
작가
The next episode will return to the present~
작가
Thank you for watching and having fun! Just a one-door person... ... I had a hard time writing it, but thank you so much... ❤️❤️❤️