my story

[Kim So-jung] Hidden behind a smile

People are always smiling.

Greet people with a bright smile.

People who smile brightly and pretend to be happy.

I think.

What emotions are hidden behind a bright smile?

What are people thinking when they laugh like that?

Is that smile you're making right now really a genuine smile?

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....

I also laugh in front of other people.

But I don't laugh when I'm alone.

The smile that was so bright in front of others disappears when I'm alone.

What on earth is the problem?

Why can't I show my true feelings in front of people?

No, is that really my true self when I'm alone?

What is my true self?

Is she smiling? Or is she crying? Or is she expressionless?

I think.

My true self is when I smile when I'm happy, cry when I'm having a hard time, and have a blank expression when I'm angry.

People have feelings.

Like, dislike, happy, not happy, enjoyable, not enjoyable, fun, not fun, laughing, crying, angry, sad, frustrated, struggling...

People have the right to express their feelings.

But it doesn't reveal.

What if people get hurt because of me? What if they suffer because of me? What if they distance themselves from me?

Could it be that these thoughts are what cause you to hide your feelings even more?

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ha....

Even on hard days, I force myself to smile, show a positive attitude when my friends say something, can't say I'm sick even when I'm sick, and pretend to be happy even when I'm sad.

Is this really what we are like?

People tend to make mistakes.

If that person is smiling, I am truly happy.

People who are always smiling will never get hurt.

That's why I'm jealous.

But don't be mistaken.

Just because you're always smiling doesn't mean you're hurt.

Even if you get hurt, you just hide your feelings in case something happens.

Even if you're always smiling, sadness still exists.

How about asking once in a while?

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Are you... having a hard time?

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I'm just having a hard time...

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I wonder if I'm the only one having a hard time in this world...

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I'll tell you about my hardships, so if you have any hardships, tell me too.

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Let us comfort each other.

May we understand and comfort each other in the sadness hidden behind our smiles...

[Kim So-jung] Hidden behind a smile