Self-harm club

#29. Jisoo's Past [2]

So while I was living in an orphanage

Entered elementary school

홍지수

(((This is my first time in a place like this...

홍지수

(((I hope it won't turn out like it did in the orphanage here..

???

hi!

홍지수

((Surprise)) Huh..? Oh, hello..!

???

What is your name?

홍지수

I am... that... Hong Ji-soo...

???

Hong Ji-soo?

홍지수

Uh.. yeah

운정훈

I'm Unjeong Hoon!

홍지수

Oh, okay..

운정훈

Let's be friends from now on!!

홍지수

okay..

운정훈

Hehehe

So I met that friend and things went smoothly.

Until the 5th grade, nothing happened and I was close with that friend.

Only until 5th grade

###

운정훈

You know today is a parent-teacher conference, right?

홍지수

today.?

홍지수

Is it today..?

운정훈

Yeah, you didn't know?

홍지수

Uh...I didn't know

운정훈

Then your parents won't come?

홍지수

parents.?

홍지수

You're not coming, you're very busy...

홍지수

((Parents...you have to be here...

운정훈

Hey Jisoo, where does it hurt?

홍지수

Huh? Why?

운정훈

Your hands are shaking now

홍지수

uh..?

홍지수

Huh? Why..?

Painful

홍지수

ah..!

운정훈

What is it? Why is it like that?

홍지수

Sigh... I... don't know...

홍지수

Suddenly...breathing...ha...is hard...

홍지수

I... I need you to look after me for a moment.

운정훈

Should I bring it to you?

홍지수

No, it's okay. I'll bring it.

운정훈

Oh, bring it carefully..!

###

홍지수

Why... why am I suddenly thinking of my mom?

홍지수

Haa..haa..

thud-

홍지수

ha..

bang-

홍지수

Why... why do I keep crying...

홍지수

Is it because Jeonghoon brought up the topic of his parents?

I kept banging my head against the wall and biting my nails in fear.

Maybe the memory from that time remained as a trauma

Whenever I talk about my parents, my mom, or the amusement park, I get scared and terrified, have trouble breathing, keep hitting my head, bite my nails, and shake my legs.

I calmed down in the hallway and went into the classroom.

###

((Drumroll

When I entered, there were parents standing at the back of the classroom.

I was there again

I started to feel increasingly anxious

But I just went into my seat

운정훈

Are you okay?

홍지수

Oh, it's okay

홍지수

((Ha..it's okay..nothing will happen. It's just class.

홍지수

((If you just focus on class... it'll be okay...

선생

Okay, our parents are here too~ Let's study hard~!

홍지수

ha..

홍지수

((Ah..head..

The more classes I took, the faster my heart beat and the more tired I became.

But fortunately, I finished the class well.

선생

Okay, class is over~!

학생 1

Mom~!

부모님

Hi, our son did a good job!

운정훈

dad!

부모님

Hey Jeonghoon!

부모님

Are you doing well in class?

운정훈

Haha

운정훈

Ah, the girl next to me is the Jisoo I was talking about!

홍지수

Oh..ah..hello.!!!

부모님

Oh okay, bye haha

부모님

Aren't your parents here?

홍지수

Ah... ah... you're busy...

부모님

Oh, I see^^

홍지수

((Haa..haa..

홍지수

(((Oh my head feels like it's going to explode,,

dump

###

운정훈

Why is it like this?

의사

I'm not sure, but...

의사

Maybe...stress...

의사

This student... seems to be having a hard time, so please help him out a bit... Okay?

운정훈

yes

홍지수

ha..

의사

Oh, I guess you're awake!

운정훈

Hey Jisoo, are you okay?

홍지수

I think it's okay...

운정훈

thank god..

의사

Okay, then you can go now.

홍지수

Oh yes.. thank you

운정훈

Let's go, Jisoo. Should I take you home?

홍지수

Home..? No, it's okay.. If mom calls, she'll come pick you up.

홍지수

((Because I don't have a home..

운정훈

Okay? Okay, I understand.

###

운정훈

Then, bye, Jisoo!

홍지수

Oh, let's see tomorrow..

홍지수

((Jeonghoon... it would be nice... he has a house and parents...

bang-

홍지수

((No, it's okay. I have a place that feels like home to me and people who treat me like my parents.

홍지수

((let's go..

I spent that day without any particular incident.

But the next day

###

아이1

hey!

아이1

You don't have a mother!

홍지수

uh?

아이1

That's right!

운정훈

Hey, what are you talking about all of a sudden!

아이1

Isn't that right?

아이1

Even during the open class, all the parents came, but these kids' parents didn't come?

운정훈

That's because Jisoo's parents were busy and couldn't come!

홍지수

That...stop it.

운정훈

And what if your parents don't come to the open class?

운정훈

Are your parents not here?

아이1

no..!

아이1

But I heard him talking to me!

아이1

This kid lives in an orphanage!!!

홍지수

uh..!

I was so anxious that my legs were shaking.

It became difficult to breathe

홍지수

Haa..haa..

학생 1

Wow, he doesn't have parents..

학생 2

Oh my, in an orphanage? Oh, poor thing..

운정훈

Hey! No!

운정훈

Why are you eavesdropping on other people's consultations!!!

아이1

I heard it by chance!!

홍지수

Hey... over there... stop...!

I fidgeted and shook my legs, trying to stop the kids, but they fought harder.

My condition is getting worse and worse

Kwaang-

I banged my head hard on the desk.

운정훈

Ji..! Jisoo..!

bang-

홍지수

no..!

홍지수

No..!

bang-

홍지수

No, my mom didn't abandon me... haa... haa...

홍지수

Haa..haa..

Kwaang-

아이1

Hey..! Why is this kid like this..!!

운정훈

Ji..! Jisoo, stop it..!!

학생 1

Hey..! What's wrong with him? Call the teacher!!

학생 2

Ah..! I get it!!

홍지수

Haa no, no... haa..

I hit my head until my forehead bled.

Jeonghoon, who saw the scar on my forehead, stopped me

Because I couldn't hear, see or remember anything

I just kept banging my head

운정훈

Ji..! Jisoo..!! Stop..

운정훈

Huh..Jisoo..!!

Kwaang-

###

자까

Wow

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Oh Neureun

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no

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Today's TMI><

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I bought a six-hole diary!!

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So, let's go

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><

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That's it

자까

Slurp