The Gauntlet - Babowa Cheonsa
Ch. 9 - Natural Selection
Angel
Oppa and I decided to become closer to each other after a sudden exchange of... intimate words. Well, it turned out like this:
Angel
I love you!
LD
I love you.
Angel
Or something similar. You can call it dating, but we haven't gone on a date yet. Maybe when we get another day-off.
LD
I wonder how the War Games would turn out.
Angel
I bet it's exciting!
LD
Well, anything can happen so be on guard. Besides, you have one hell of a strong team.
Angel
Yeah. Let's get going - we don't wanna be late.
Angel
I held oppa's hand as we walked across the halls. The Barracks was quiet since it was quite early, until we ran into Kang of all people.
Kang
.....
Angel
Still topless?
Kang
F*ck you.
LD
Hey, don't talk to her like that.
Kang
Or what? Want me to bust your head wide open until your brain splats?
LD
You can try.
Angel
Oppa, don't~!
Kang
...Nah. I'll kill you later when the missus isn't watching.
Angel
(Kang leaves) ...The missus?
LD
He's calling you my wife or something.
Angel
Interesting. I won't let him kill you.
LD
Like I'd let him kill me. He jumped me the other day.
Angel
I have three switchblades in my purse. Wanna borrow one?
LD
Why do you have switchblades in your bag?
Angel
In case someone tries to... y'know. Rape me. If that happens, I have three knives to use.
LD
What if they got a gun?
Angel
One of them's ballistic.
LD
Nice~. Y'know, I have a set of chisels, a hammer and a big cutter. I also have a T-square that doubles as a pickaxe.
Angel
Wow, you're pretty crafty. You also have lots of toys to use.
LD
Well, they're not actually toys.
Angel
I know.
LD
...Too soon?
Angel
Yeah, too soon. Never mind.
Angel
Wow, it's brighter here than usual.
LD
Aaand everyone's... here.
Trainees
Yiiiieeee...!
Michelle
They came together....
Hannah
Jealous, Michelle?
Michelle
I'm not! Just... oh man.... I wanna walk in with Lawrens!
Jennifer
Bestie, don't fret. There are plenty of boys here.
Michelle
Yeah, but only a quarter of them are cute.
Sali
Well, we're not here to look for boys, so focus, girl.
LD
Ange. Everyone's staring.
Angel
I know. What should we do?
LD
For starters, not doing the naked voodoo tribal dance you suggested would be number one.
Angel
What voodoo tribal dance? ...Ohh, the naked ritual dance. Yeah, let's not do that.
LD
We'll get arrested if we do that.
Boss Eddie
Miss Shin, mister Dumandan, you can play "husband and wife" later! Let's start the selection!
LD
Husband and wife, huh...?
Angel
I like it.
LD
Shh.
Big Zeke
Alright, sit down! Now, for each team, choose your representatives!
Angel
Oh dear. Choose a representative...?
Sali
Oh sh*t. Girls, who should we send out?
Midori
Not me, they might pit me against a boy.
Angel
What's wrong with that?
Midori
Uhh, hello? I have big breasts and the boys have their eyes on these ever since they saw me.
Ivy
I agree. Dori's pretty, sexy, and she can be a dumbass, too.
Midori
Heeeey! I'm not a dumbass!
Elli
Let's put Asha out there.
Angel
You sure, Elli?
Elli
Asha's taller than half of the boys, and she's the tallest girl here. Plus, long legs = big steps. They try to grope her = head kick.
Asha
Sounds mean, but Elli has a point.
Elli
I mean, you saved Shane once when Bruce locked him in the supply cabinet by unlocking the door with chopsticks.
Asha
Shane's cute. Plus, I felt bad for him.
Sali
I hope Bruce crashes here as well. That guy's an asshole up to this day.
Ivy
So it's settled. We'll go with Asha.
Angel
Agreed. Fighting, Asha!
Asha
You can count on me!
Angel
I looked over to oppa's team, and they had Gino come up. Of course oppa can't do it because he's injured.
Eddie
Great, now... the first part of the War Games will begin. We present to you... the songs you'll pick!
Angel
Some hooks dropped from the ceiling all of a sudden, and they had these boards on them with words written on them.
Boss Eddie
The reason why we had you choose your representatives is because we'll have them fight over the songs through a game of "pabitin"!
Trainees
EEEEEGHHH?!?!
Angel
Wow.... "Pabitin" is this Filipino parlor game that's usually done at birthday parties.
Angel
The participants would reach up to a hanging platform that has these yummy treats and they try to get as much as they can.
Angel
They're mostly played by kids. I've been in one when I was around 7 years old, and I got two bags for me and Jehu.
Angel
It's gonna be interesting to see a bunch of young adults playing this game when there's no candy involved....
Big Zeke
Alright, the representatives from each team!
Gino Bondame from Team Suicide Squad!
Asha Beltran from Team Don't Ask Don't Tell!
Kang Dong Gi from Team Gundam It Men!
Kim Hong Shin from Team Furious Six!
Randy Coleta from Team Men in White!
Harry Mark Have fun from Team Mga Tambay!
Cess Varona from Team Bubble-E!
Brains Chavez from Team Sirens!
Angel
Brains doesn't seem thrilled. She's only 5'2".
Wendell Ibañez from Team Storm Earth and Fire!
Serene Lin from Team One in Le Million!
Gerphil Canizares from Team First Love!
Kenneth Berth from Team... Team Jacob?
Trainees
*laughter*
Kai Satake from Team Izanagi!
And Elina Cho from Team Velvet Underworld!
Angel
Those are some tall people out there.
Ivy
You kidding? Elina, Cess and Brains aren't that tall.
Midori
Must be a judgement error on Brains' team.
Ivy
KICK SOME ASS, ASHA!
Angel
Tee-hee, you are a feisty one, unnie.
Jake
KICK THEM IN THE DICK, RANDY!
Angel
Everyone's suddenly in a fighting spirit. Oppa's team only has Sheena cheering - she must be their muse then.
Angel
Now Brains, Randy, Asha, Kai, Elina, Kenneth, Hong Shin, Wendell, Harry, Gerphil, Gino, Serene, Kang and Cess are on the stage for pabitin.
Angel
I can see the size differences among them. Brains, Cess and Elina unnie are the shortest at 5'2" to 5'3" - the others were at least 5'8"!
Boss Eddie
Get ready now! On the count if three! One, two... THREE!
Angel
A loud sound echoed throughout the auditorium, and a split second later, the pabitin game started. Usually it's fun and games...
Angel
...But oh my God, these guys are gonna kill each other!
Ivy
GET THAT ONE ASHA! DON'T LET KENNETH GET IT!
Angel
OH LORD. THIS IS CHAOS.
Sali
Huhhuhhuhhuh! Brianna!
Angel
Brains jumped on Kang of all people and almost got a song, but Kang being the jerk he is, he threw Brains to the floor!
Kang
F*cking get off me, bitch!
Jennifer
....
Nikita
....
Michelle
....
Mira
....
Gabriel
Dude....
Angel
You jerk....
LD
.....
CD
Asshole....
Mike
Brianna, you okay?
Brianna
Yes, I'm okay....
Angel
The others got so worried that they stopped playing and ran to Brains to check on her. Kai became livid, too.
Kai
Seriously? You f*cking kidding us?
Kang
She jumped on me!
Kai
She's 5 feet tall and you're what, 6'3" and you slam her flat on her ass?
Eddie
Enough! Okay, it seems all the songs have been taken. Asha, Kang, Randy, Cess, Hong Shin, Kenneth, and Gerphil got the songs.
Mike
Now you will get to pick your opponents. Get back to your teams to deliberate on your choices.
Angel
Asha ran back to us in a hurry. I knew she'd get a song, but I wonder what she got for us.
Asha
Hey. I got this one for us.
Ivy
Oh...why.
Angel
"Right Round" by Flo Rida....
Asha
Awgh sh*t, did I screw it up, girls?
Angel
No, this is great!
Ivy
How is it great, you idiot?
Angel
The song borders on hip hop, and I like doing hip hop dances. I can lead you girls here.
Sali
The song's rap-heavy though.
Asha
I listen to Western rap like Gorillaz and Eminem. I can lead there, too.
Ivy
Daaaamn. We're coming together on this.
Sali
Leave the vocals to me and Elli. Midori-chan?
Midori
Yeah?
Elli
You'll be our face!
Midori
Just that?
Ivy
Of course you'll still sing. Maybe we can make this like a hip hop girl crush?
Angel
Good plan, now... who are we gonna pick?
Ivy
Team One in Le Million. Mimi's so cocky I wanna kick her ass.
Asha
I don't think they're cocky.
Ivy
I said only Mimi's cocky. Mei, Serene, Maryse, Sophie and CJ are nice.
Angel
I have a feeling we'll need to teach them the choreo we'll make as well. Knowing Mimi, she'll add her own twists without us knowing.
Sali
Then we'll just have to beat them straight up. I feel bad for the others, but Mimi, I don't like her one bit at all.
Asha
Great!
LET'S KICK SOME ASS.
Angel
We're up against Team One in Le Million, led by Mimi Constantino. She's the female version of Bruce, full of excuses and empty promises.
Angel
We're performing a cover of "Right Round" by Flo Rida, the song from "The Hangover." I think we'll do well.
Boss Eddie
You will need to teach the basic choreography to your opponent, and then it's up to both teams to improve it.
Eddie
We didn't call it the "War Games" just for fun. This is for real now, mijos and mijas, because this will decide if you will move on...
Eddie
...To the Top 70.
Trainees
!!!!
Ivy
Sheeeeeet.....
Asha
*gulp*
Midori
I...I need to pee.
Angel
Oh my God....
Angel
I looked over to Oppa, who seems equally shocked by the news.
LD
....
Angel
*softly* Fighting! I love you...!
LD
*smile*
Angel
Just seeing me is enough. Maybe he's just taking some time to process all this, because it happened so fast.
Angel
They're up against Hong Shin-ssi's team, and they got "Count on You" by Big Time Rush. It plays well because they have girls in their teams.
Boss Eddie
Now then... practice will begin in three hours. You must be in your designated practice rooms with your opponents by then.
Boss Eddie
You can listen to the songs and think of something for now. Dismissed!
Trainees
Yes, sir!