EP 3. Despair
Life there was even more horrific than the days we had lived in our home before the barracks. All the women had their heads shaved, and the sick and the elderly were all dragged off somewhere and disappeared without a trace. People were forced to do hard labor by the North Korean army, who, though trembling with anxiety, would often point guns at them.
The camp was so poor and unsanitary that it was beyond words, overrun with bugs and lacking even decent toilets, making you wonder if we were really in the 21st century. Even so, when they crammed people, regardless of gender, into a single room and closed the door, people would often quickly collapse from lack of oxygen.
Surviving in such a dire environment was nearly impossible.
_Wednesday, February 9, 2022
A week after I was imprisoned in the camp, the first victim among those living with me appeared.
"Ugh... Ugh..."
"Whew... Cluck cluck cluck...!!!"
"Sir, are you okay?!"
A man was in agony, nauseated, and unable to control his movements. While everyone was worried about him, the door to the dormitory swung open violently, and an angry North Korean soldier tossed him a rag and dragged him out. We heard it clearly.
"Ugh... everyone here is going to die now..."
We were dumbfounded, at a loss. "Everyone's going to die?" What did that even mean? Without anyone grasping the situation, we had to send off such an innocent life. Another day passed, some crying, some angry, and some feeling resigned.
Saturday, February 12, 2022
It wasn't long before we learned what he meant. The most fatal thing for us, living in cramped quarters without proper equipment, was "Epidemic "This camp was hit hard. The infectious disease was tuberculosis. It would have been fortunate if there had been a proper treatment, but we had no choice but to suffer helplessly without even a small emergency medicine.
Even amidst the epidemic, the North Korean military forced us into forced labor, and those with able limbs were forced to work, regardless of their health. Luckily, I wasn't sick, so I continued to go to work, and thanks to that, I was able to hear news frequently.
Gradually, hopeful stories began to circulate, such as that South Korean troops would soon arrive and that the hardships would be over in a short time. This was truly precious news to us, but the North Korean soldiers, watching, seemed displeased and made us do increasingly difficult tasks. As someone with no stamina left, it was becoming increasingly difficult for me to endure.
Then one day,
"Move quickly, quickly!!!!!"
"huh...?"
The cries of North Korean soldiers could be heard from somewhere. "They're definitely taking people away again," I thought, and was about to turn my head when a familiar figure entered my field of vision.
"...Eugene...!!!"
"...!!"
It was Eugene. Eugene, who had become noticeably thinner, couldn't even walk properly and kept staggering. I wanted to drop my shovel and run to help, but under the fierce gaze of the instructors watching me, I could only watch Eugene walk away.
As the line grew farther and farther away, and I could no longer see Eugene's face clearly, Eugene opened his mouth with all his might and spoke to me.
"Please take good care of my brother. Please."
"......"
That was the last time I saw Eugene.
As I found out later, Eugene's body became so weak that he could no longer work, and all those people were taken to the gas chamber and murdered.
I had no idea at the time, but I felt something strange in my increasingly weak hands and gripped the shovel even tighter.
moment,
"Ugh..."
The blood that had been gushing out began to flow ceaselessly. The instructor noticed my condition, then called someone to take me to a room. My condition rapidly worsened, so I was taken back to the room where the patients were gathered.
The smell of disinfectant filled the room, and the patients were all listless and sprawled out. In that cramped space with no room to even step, I took a small seat and buried my head in my knees.
Is this really how I'm going to die? Fear gripped me, consuming me, leaving me unable to think. I was left feeling helpless, anxious, and in vain, tears streaming down my face. A persistent cough kept coming, so I covered my mouth with my sleeve and suffered silently.
At that moment,
"...you...?"
I heard a familiar voice from ahead, and when I raised my head in anger, what I saw before my eyes was a surprising sight.
"...That's right, you..."
"Yes, why are you here...!!!"
Kim Seokjin, whom I thought I'd never see again, was right before my eyes. He had lost just as much weight as Eugene, and he looked like he could collapse at any moment. I gave up my seat and stood, wanting to ask him the whole story, but tears welled up in my eyes, rendering me speechless and I buried my head in Seokjin's shoulder. Seokjin gently patted me, and once my tears had stopped, he began to explain the situation.
Seok-jin and Eugene were captured by North Korean soldiers while rescuing people from the barracks and brought here. They were separated, unaware of each other's fate. Eugene died in a gas chamber. Seok-jin reportedly contracted tuberculosis before Eugene's death and had been living here for quite some time.
"...I thought I would never see you again,
"I'm glad to see you like this."
"...I know."
"...We will definitely be able to survive."
"So... you can't go first."
"Yeah. Of course."
We miraculously met each other when we were on the brink of death. In that desperate moment, you were the one who gave me a little bit of strength to endure, and I was able to find the strength to move forward again.
But Seokjin couldn't do that.
Tuesday, February 15, 2022
His condition worsened by the day, and even at night, Seokjin's coughing kept everyone awake. With no effective treatment available, I could only watch him day after day, my heart aching. I prayed and prayed every night, "Please, let him get well without any problems, please, let us both survive." But perhaps my prayers weren't reaching the heavens.
One day, it seemed like any other day,
"...Kim Seokjin, are you okay?"
"......"
"Kim Seokjin? Kim Seokjin...?"
Seokjin was silent. Feeling uneasy, I approached his bed and quietly called out to him, but he didn't move an inch.
In an instant, my hands began to tremble and a cold sweat began to run down my face. Seokjin's condition, which had been noticeably worse over the past few days, flashed before my eyes, and I was overcome with a sudden wave of fear.
His heart, which he approached with a feeling of doubt and put his ear to,
My heart stopped.
Seokjin was taken to the crematorium immediately after his death, and I was plunged into despair. I hadn't realized his senseless death would be such a devastating loss. Every day was hell, and my tuberculosis, which seemed to be improving, was worsening again. I was nothing more than someone who had lost the will to live, meaninglessly prolonging my life.
One bright moonlit night, I was staring blankly out the window when I suddenly felt a deep sense of despair. There was no longer any purpose to live, and the one who had given me strength was no longer by my side. There was nothing left for me.
Before I knew it, a teardrop flowed down my face, and I burst out laughing like a madman. Was it because the moonlight was particularly bright, or was it because of the overwhelming, painful despair?
So, a life that maintained its thin breath
He met his end by strangling himself.