Because It’s My First Love
W. Kkot Seoryeong
I thought he wouldn’t remember.
No—I hoped he wouldn’t remember.
But Taehyung remembered everything from that day, one year ago.
Vividly.
After a whirlwind of awkwardness, the first class finally ended.
The bell rang, and I bolted from the classroom, mumbling something about needing the bathroom.
I didn’t even know where anything was in this new school, but I ran until I felt like I’d escaped far enough.
Only when I reached a deserted corner and sank down against a wall did I let myself breathe again.
‘Why did I pretend not to know him?’
‘We only met twice. Isn’t it kind of weird to act like we know each other?’
‘But still... I know his face, and he knows mine. Isn’t that enough?’
‘I mean... I guess it is...’
Taehyung had kept asking me about it the entire class.
His persistence was enough to make me forget I was even in a classroom.
And when the bell rang, I ran.
Even when I shouted “I’m just going to the bathroom!”—he still insisted on walking me there.
Only once I confirmed he wasn’t behind me did I finally let out a breathless laugh.
“I mean, he just transferred here yesterday too.
How would he know where the girls’ bathroom is?”
And he’s so good-looking… If someone saw him trying to escort me, rumors would spread before lunchtime.
Just the thought of it made me groan and bury my head in my hands.
While I was still catching my breath, my phone buzzed violently in my blazer pocket.
[Song Kang] flashed on the screen.
He must’ve just found out I transferred.
Normally, you'd say goodbye to your friends before transferring—but I wasn’t good with that kind of thing.
And besides Song Kang, I didn’t have anyone I needed to tell.
I had just asked the homeroom teacher to “tell the class however you see fit.”
I guess Song Kang, being in a different class, only just now heard.
“He’s gonna be pissed I didn’t tell him…”
To others, it might seem cold.
But it wasn’t that I didn’t care.
It’s just… we’ve been together 360 days out of 365 since we were kids.
Even in middle school, when I transferred schools once, he followed me.
He literally transferred too.
So if I didn’t do something like this now… I was scared he’d never let me go.
This was supposed to be a clean break.
“Hello?”
"Yah! Yoon Suhyeon! How could you just leave without saying anything?!"
I could hear the frustration, disappointment, and hurt bleeding through his voice.
And honestly… I expected it.
But not this much.
"I went to your class and totally freaked out!
You’re always by my side, and now people probably think I’m some clueless idiot who didn’t even know you left!"
Ah. I didn’t think of that.
I thought I was doing him a favor—vanishing quietly.
But I ended up making him look like someone who didn’t even remember his best friend had transferred.
When I half-laughed and apologized, dragging out the last syllable playfully,
his voice softened.
"Why didn’t you tell me?"
"Because… I was scared you’d follow me.”
Simple as that.
And honestly, anyone who says “he wouldn’t do that” just doesn’t know Song Kang.
He would.
And he has.
He didn’t deny it.
And that, ironically, made me feel a little better.
"Still… it really hurt, you know."
"I know… I’m sorry. But I had no choice."
Because if I didn’t do it like this…
Neither of us would ever make new friends.
Not him. Not me.
"So you’re still not gonna tell me what school it is?"
I could already picture his pouty, sulking face through the phone.
The way his shoulders slumped, eyes downcast like a kicked puppy.
That face had guilt-tripped me for years.
But not this time.
We were 19 now. Almost adults.
One day, we’d have to live our lives separately.
This… was just the beginning.
“Sorry. I really can’t tell you.”
“…You’re so cold.”
"Maybe. But that’s just how it is."
Despite myself, a small laugh slipped out.
He’s taller than me, stronger than me, and yet still acts like a kid.
And back then… he really did protect me in ways I can’t forget.
Time passed quickly, and I knew class would start again soon.
I had to go.
Song Kang was still sulking, tossing passive-aggressive comments at me.
But his voice was definitely lighter now.
“I’ve gotta go now.”
“Don’t want to hang up yet…”
“You should get to class too.”
He sighed dramatically, but didn’t argue.
Right before we hung up, he asked—
“Can we still meet after school, though?”
I nodded.
“Sure. I’ll stop by your place later.”
After we hung up, I slipped my phone into my pocket, dusted off my skirt, and stood up.
Even though I’d run off to escape Taehyung…
It was time to go back.
But—
"You sure talk forever."
Just as I rounded the corner back toward class,
Taehyung leaned off the wall with a look that said he’d been waiting for me to finish the call.
I froze.
My heart dropped to my feet.
“Wh-what are you doing here?”
“I looked for you. For a while.”
He said it so casually, like it was no big deal.
But my mind was racing.
Why?
Why are you looking for me?
But I swallowed the questions back down.
I didn’t have the courage to ask them out loud.
So I stared at the floor, eyes clenched shut, and waited.
Would he ask again?
Why I pretended not to know him?
Should I just blurt it out?
“Because you’re too handsome, and if we got close, I knew people would talk and I hate attention!”
My mind spun with ridiculous possibilities.
And then—
“…Are you afraid of me, too?”
His eyes weren’t watery.
But his voice… his expression…
They looked heartbreakingly sad.
And somehow, though his lips didn’t move again,
I heard it clearly.
‘Please don’t be one of them.
Please don’t be afraid of me, too.’