Hoseok
March 2, Year 21
I liked mingling with people. As soon as
After I left the orphanage, I started working at Two Star.
Burger part-time. I had to deal with
countless people, constantly smiling and
Always being energetic, I loved that job. There was
Few things made me smile or feel energetic.
In my life, I've encountered many more bad people.
That's great.
That's why I enjoyed that job so much. While
She always suppressed a laugh while speaking.
deliberately speaking in a higher tone and pretending to be
I felt cheerful in front of customers; I really changed.
I felt better after laughing out loud and became kinder.
by working hard to serve customers in a way
friendly. Of course, there were difficult days. I took all my
energy to take each step on my way home in the end
of the day. Sometimes he was bothered by customers.
But I just smiled and laughed. The laughter gave me new...
energies. I graduated from high school in February.
A high school diploma didn't bring about much change.
It just lets me work longer hours at the burger place.
I earned a little more money, but it still wasn't enough.
to move to a better room.
With the start of the new semester, Two Star Burger
filled with dazed-looking first-year students
And upper-class kids trying to seem mature. They were all adorable. We used to be like them once.
What are the others doing? I thought about them from time to time.
When. The last time I saw Seokjin was the beginning.
from the summer holidays. He seemed to be avoiding me.
So I kept my distance. Later I found out that
He transferred to another school. YoonGi, as usual,
She didn't answer our calls, and nobody knew what had happened to her.
It happened to Namjoon. Taehyung, who was particularly
Close to Namjoon, he began to drop out of school in
sometime.
It is said that he entered and left the police station through
drawing graffiti in the street. Jungkook appeared
occasionally in front of the glass door of the
burger joint. It seemed like he was always involved in it.
fights, since he usually had cuts and bruises on his body.
His face. As for Jimin, the last time I saw him was
when they took him out of the emergency room.
Memories of that day frequently crossed my mind and
They were chasing me. Did I do something wrong? Did I miss something?
Another customer entered the store. I inhaled deeply.
And I waved to him loudly. I put on a big smile and looked towards
The door. It was someone I knew.
Tae Hyung
March 29, Year 22
The gas station owner spat on the ground before
to leave. I lay on the ground, collapsed on top of myself.
Same here. They caught me doing graffiti on the wall.
behind the gas station, and the owner hit me.
I thought I had gotten used to being hit,
However, it turned out that it wasn't.
I recently started doing graffiti. I picked up a spray can.
that someone left and I painted on the wall. I think it was
yellow. I simply poured it in and looked at the paint, its
contrast against the gray wall. I grabbed another can and started to
I painted what came from my heart, things I didn't even know how to do.
that I felt. I stopped after finishing all the cans, the
I threw it away and took a step back. When I saw my work, I was speechless.
breathing, as if he had run a marathon.
I didn't know what the colors on the wall meant.
I didn't know what I had done; all I knew was that
It represented my feelings. I had captured my
Feelings on the wall. At first, the image was ugly,
It seemed stupid, useless, pathetic… I hated it.
I tried to spread the paint with my hand before it
It would dry. I wanted to erase everything. But instead of fading away,
The paint blended differently. I leaned back against the
wall. The problem wasn't whether I liked it or not. The
The problem wasn't beauty or its absence. The problem was
them.
I got up and started coughing. I noticed that the palm of my
My hand was spattered with blood. Someone picked it up.
spray cans, I raised my head following the path
Hand in hand. A familiar face appeared. It was
Namjoon. He offered me his hand, but I just stood there.
I was watching him. He lifted me up. His hand was warm.
YoonGi
April 7, Year 22
I stopped when I heard someone playing the piano badly.
Someone was complaining because of the drunk man who
She walked among the stalls of the now empty market.
The song sounded familiar, but I couldn't place it. My steps
Drunks become erratic. I closed my lame eyes on purpose and
I walked a little further. The heat from the fire was scorching and
The sound of the piano, the night breeze, and the stench...
vanished.
I opened my eyes when I noticed a sudden flash of light.
The car's headlights were blinding and lifted a bit of
air passed by. Amid the chaos and the stench, I staggered without
I could have avoided it. I heard the driver swear. I stopped walking.
I cursed too, and suddenly I could no longer hear the sound.
from the piano. I heard fireworks, the sound of the
The wind and the sound of the car leaving, but I couldn't hear the
Piano. I think it stopped playing. Why did it stop? Who
Was he playing?
After a deafening sound, the fireworks
They gave way to darkness. For a while I gazed at them.
I was stunned. I began to feel heat in my face and...
At that moment, I heard the sound of the piano keys.
As a reflex, I looked behind me and suddenly my
My breathing became erratic. My nightmares
Childhood. I think the sound is the same as in that place.
In an instant, I started running. Subconsciously, my
My body quickly headed to the music store.I feel like I'm repeating a pattern. I wasn't sure what it was.
that's what it was, but it seemed like he was forgetting something.
important.
Someone was sitting in front of the piano in the shop.
Music with broken glass. A few years have passed.
But I recognized his face. I looked away. I didn't want to.
I didn't want to get involved in someone's life. I didn't want to comfort them.
who is alone. I don't want to become someone
important to someone else. I'm not sure I am.
capable of protecting someone. I don't know if I would be able to support
to that person until the end. I don't want to hurt them.
Nobody, and I don't want to be hurt. That's enough already.
It's difficult to try to save ourselves when it comes
the last minute, not to mention someone else.
I doubled my pace. I was turning around to
to leave without looking back. But I was getting closer to
I played the piano before I even realized it.
I pointed to the wrong note. Jungkook looked at me. It was the
first time we had seen each other since I left
school.
Seok Jin
April 11, Year 22
With a loud, grating sound, I could barely stop the car.
I was so distracted by my own thoughts that I didn't even
I didn't even see the traffic light change.
Some students, in a uniform I recognize, are with me.
They were looking through the glass, some pointed at me. Some
They laughed heartily as if they were joking.
with their friends. Some walked with their eyes fixed on
their books, and some glanced around
while they were talking on the phone. They all formed a
peaceful scene.
When the "walk" signal began to flash,
The drivers were impatient. Some of them
They were rushing to cross at the last minute. I stepped on the gas.
I didn't arrive at the station intersection on time.
service. I saw Namjoon filling up some cars.
From a distance. I gripped the steering wheel. I knew what I had.
I didn't know what to do, but I was scared. Could I really...
How can we end this whole chain of bad luck and pain?
Isn't repeating the same mistakes over and over again proof?
that achieving it is impossible? Isn't this a sign
So that I give up? Could it be that, in reality, we are
condemned to be unhappy? Countless thoughts
They fill my head, I exhaled slowly. I try to remember their…
Faces one by one: YoonGi, HoSeok, JiMin, TaeHyung,
Jungkook. Then I change lanes and get into the
gas station. I can't give up. If there's even 1%
Given the odds of success, I can't give up. Through my window, I see Namjoon approaching. "It's been a while since..."
"See you."
NamJoon
April 11, Year 22
When I turned around, after refilling the tank, something
It flew past my face and fell to the ground. I took a step back and
I looked at it and found a crumpled bill. Like
As a reflex, I ducked down, while the people in the car...
She was laughing out loud. Instinctively, I stopped. Surely
Seokjin was watching me from afar. I couldn't lift my head.
the head. How could I deal with people who were
Were they laughing at others from their luxury cars? I needed
Fight! You have to fight against injustice. It's not a…
It was a question of courage, pride, or equality. It simply was.
Something that had to be done.
But I work at the gas station, and if a customer spills something,
I have to pick it up. If the customer insults me, I have to...
I have to listen to him, and if he throws the money on the ground, I have to...
pick it up. When I'm insulted, I feel a chill and
I clench my fists, digging my nails into my flesh.
I kept my eyes fixed on the ground when someone
I picked up the receipt. Those in the car were grumbling.
of fun as they walked away. I couldn't lift the
head, even though they were already gone. I couldn't look at
Seokjin. My cowardice, my poverty, my situation… I know that
Hyung was aware of it, but he didn't want to show it.
openly.
He's still here, standing motionless. He's not coming any closer.
He doesn't speak either.
Jungkook
April 11, Year 22
Little by little things evolved in the way that
that I had desired it. I deliberately stumbled upon
Some thugs I met on the street beat me up.
Thoroughly. I laughed while they were doing it, so they hit me.
Even more so, calling me crazy. I looked up at the sky.
while I leaned against the metal shutter that protected
to any old business. It was already night. Nothing.
It managed to dazzle the dark night sky. I saw a
A mound of grass in the distance. He remained motionless in the
I lay on the ground as the wind blew. It reminded me of myself.
I started laughing to stop my tears from flowing freely.
remorse.
I closed my eyes and the image of my stepfather appeared.
clearing his throat. My stepbrother was mocking him.
The rest of my family looked away and talked about
Nonsensical topics. They behaved as if I were...
Invisible, as if my existence weren't worthwhile. My
Mother was nervous
I dusted myself off and coughed as I stood up. My mouth
My stomach hurt as if I'd been stabbed with a knife.
dagger. It was deserted, the building was unfinished.
because they stopped construction. I got on the
I walked over the railing with both hands outstretched.
For a moment I stumbled and almost lost my balance.
The thought invaded him that he might die if he gave a
I'll take one more step. All of this would end with my death. Nobody
I would cry if I decided to take another step.
I leaned into the dark void, the darkness that...
seeped through my toes and flowed towards me like
all over my body. I closed my eyes, and the city
Disordered, the noise and the fear disappeared. I held
I took a deep breath and slowly leaned back down. I cleared my throat.
In my mind, I didn't think about anyone. I didn't want to leave anything behind.
Head. I don't want to remember anything. This was the end.
My phone rang. I snapped back to reality as if I were...
Waking up from a long sleep. All my senses
They returned instantly. I took out my phone. It was
YoonGi.
YoonGi
April 11, Year 22
Walk, paying attention to the steps of
Jungkook was following me from behind. A line of
Containers appeared along the railway line.
"It's the fourth one from the end." Hoseok commented that he would meet
with Namjoon and Taehyung, and he told me to come.
I said I would, but I didn't really intend to.
I hate having to mix with others, and
HoSeok knows. Maybe he thought he wouldn't even show up.
When I opened the door, HoSeok looked surprised.
Then, after seeing Jungkook, he came towards us.
making exaggerated gestures with a face full of
Mixed feelings. Jungkook turned around,
probably to hide her split lip. Go to
both and walk inside the container. "How long?"
"Was it?" Hoseok, who was trying to hug Jungkook, and
Jungkook, who was trying to avoid it, continued
arguing amongst themselves.
After a while, Namjoon arrived with Taehyung.
who had the ripped shirt. We asked him what
It had happened, and Namjoon pretended to hit the head of
Taehyung. "This boy was arrested again for being..."
"He was doing graffiti, so I had to go and get it." Taehyung told us
He said his shirt ripped when he was trying to
flee from the police.
I slumped into a corner and watched them. Namjoon...
He gave Taehyung a shirt to change into, and Hoseok took the hamburgers and drinks. Jungkook
He was standing there awkwardly, looking around.
It led me to believe we had gone back to high school. In that
classroom turned into a storage room. Namjoon was
He was ridiculed when he tried to reason with Taehyung.
while HoSeok kept wandering around and
Jungkook remained still, not knowing what to do.
How much time has passed? I can't remember.
Last time we were all together. I wonder what
It must have been Seokjin and Jimin. I think that, although it's the
This is my first time here, and I feel comfortable, something that
It doesn't usually happen.
I looked out the door. Suddenly, I felt the
A need to flee that place. A mysterious
Anxiety overwhelmed me after that inexplicable peace and
fullness. My thoughts settled in that classroom that
We used it as a hiding place. In high school.
We used to laugh and chat together, but those days had passed.
gone. Likewise, the time we spend here would reach its
The end. Is there any point to this good feeling?
A sudden feeling of belonging and anticipation without
basis?
Seok Jin
April 11, Year 22
The light that came in through the small window of the
The container looked like some kind of sign. A sign that…
It guides us when we are lost, a sign that points
to take refuge when I have nowhere else to go, and a sign that
It illuminates the friends who are beside us. I parked
my car in a corner a short distance away.
From the train, I watched the others gather.
Following the signal, Hoseok entered first.
container, followed by YoonGi, JungKook, TaeHyung
And Namjoon. What are they doing now? What are they up to?
Are they talking? Didn't I say I didn't want to run into them?
They did. But this was only the beginning. It wasn't time yet.
Someday, we'll all be together again. We'll laugh.
Together in the middle of that signal. This is as far as I'll go.
to be here today. I turned my car around.
NamJoon
April 28, Year 22
I knew something was wrong with Taehyung. Despite
Although he pretended to be fine, his anxiety was reflected in his
behavior, their expressions and their voice, regardless
No matter how hard he tried. This wasn't about being arrested for
Graffiti. For Taehyung, graffiti was a game, it was
Funny. The wounds and bruises and sometimes the color
The effects of her facial features must be the fault of her violent father, but
That wasn't the reason, either. When her face was
When he was hit, Taehyung exaggerated even more, acting jovial.
talking nonstop.
Taehyung seemed to be in a nightmare. He didn't.
I pressed her to talk about it because I decided to wait until
that it would be ready. I also doubted that it would be.
qualified to listen to their problems. I tried to act.
I acted like an older brother and tried to be mature, but I wasn't.
He was there when the others were going through tough times.
difficult. They told me I was mature and an adult, but that
That wasn't true. Taehyung reminded me of what I experienced.
in that rural town. In fact, the two of them had nothing in
common. I was aware of that when I lived in that
town. But that boy reminded me of Taehyung,
Just as Taehyung now reminds me of him. "I have
"I need to ask you a favor." What was the favor? The motorcycle?
Did it really slide on the wet leaves? Were they
The dogs that kept barking? What happened to my
Parents? I shook my head. I stood up to scatter.
those thoughts.
Just as I was about to leave the container,
Taehyung started spinning around as if he were
Having a nightmare. He woke up with a start.
When I shook her shoulders and she sat there distractedly
For a long time. He just let his tears flow.
wandering through his face.
He said: YoonGi died, JungKook fell from the roof,
and I got caught up in a fight. He said he'd had that
I dream about it repeatedly. It was so vivid it felt like...
Reality and reality as a dream. "Don't leave me"
The face of that boy in the rural village was superimposed on
Taehyung's face. I couldn't give him an answer. No.
I could tell that he didn't need to worry because he didn't
I wasn't going anywhere.