A rumor.
When summer comes and it seems like it's going to rain at any moment,
At one school, it is said that a boy is seen every night.
In none other than the music room, as if waiting for someone.
It is said that the student who made eye contact with that student would enter the music room as if possessed and play the piano until other students came the next day.
***
"Ugh, I'm late!"
That person, frantically rushing around the room in the morning, getting ready for work, is me. You might think I've only been here for a short time, but I've actually been working at the same company for over two years, and yet I do this every morning.
Even I think I'm a heavy sleeper. When I was in high school, I was automatically considered tardy. But at some point, that stopped happening. Here's why... Wait a minute, why was I like that?
"I'll be back!"
"You have to eat breakfast before you go!!"
"It's late! I'm going out."
I left the room, begging my legs to please not be late. But there was no way. The clock was already ticking towards 8:30. Oh dear. It's only a 30-minute drive to work. If I'm late again today, I'll be fired and have to dive into the Han River.
I left the house, repeating "I'm sorry" a hundred, a thousand times, while mulling over my mother's nagging, which I couldn't even hear. Ah, going back in because I wore the wrong shoes was my default option.
***
"No, that's why I said I changed my shoes back? I guess I'm just too used to wearing sneakers."
"Or maybe it's because of this crazy company that only demands shoes from its female employees. This damn company, I really need to get out of here."
"You've been saying that for a year and six months now. You've been here for two years, and you still don't get it? You're going to be here forever."
"You didn't come here because you wanted to, did you? Didn't you want to do music?"
What kind of conversation is this? It's just a conversation between perfectly normal, ordinary office workers, venting their frustrations that have built up over the past two years. The only thing that comes out of their mouths is the word "resignation."
To be honest, everyone will end up like me when they get a job. The iced Americano I get every morning at the cafe in front of the office is my lifeline. That's especially true when you're surrounded by a coworker who's a total idiot and has that absurdly old-man-like attitude, or a team leader who doesn't hesitate to sexually harass you.
I'm having a sweet lunch with two friends from the next department, and they seem to think I came here on my own. Seriously, who on earth would want to start their career there? I guess they did. Seriously, I'm jealous.
Anyway, the reason I applied to this company is... •••. Huh? That's right. Why did I apply here? I have no talent for music, nor am I interested in it. But why did I come here...? Seriously, I have no memory. Poor thing.
"Oh, right. Did you guys hear the news? They say there's a ghost at our school. It hasn't even been 30 years since we opened, and already rumors are spreading."
"That's right. Doesn't it seem like our school has become a bit famous, ugh!"
"Again. Are you going to keep talking nonsense? Do you want to go back to high school?"
"No. It really wasn't like that back then. I thought I was going to die trying to figure out what he was thinking."
Why are these guys gossiping so openly in front of the person involved? No, maybe they're gossiping. But they're just watching my reaction...? Did something happen to me?
"Me? Why are you watching me?"
"...You really don't remember? We were at that time, Park-."
"Are you going to keep doing that? Don't mention that kid's name in front of Yuna."
"By the way, don't you really remember? When we were in high school."
Honestly, I don't remember much about high school. Maybe my freshman year, at best? I don't remember anything from my second year onward. What was I like in high school? Was I a thug, perhaps? But my freshman year was pretty normal, except for being a bit late.
"Yeah, really. Did something happen?"
"..."
The two of them fell silent simultaneously, as if they'd just written a script for a drama. What did I do wrong? Was I really a thug? Did I just smoke cigarettes and go clubbing?
"Yoona. Do you still have the stuff you used in high school?"
"Aside from the graduation album, there's something like the diary you used back then."
"Uh... there's probably still some left."
"Would you like to find that today and take a look? It might help you find your memories."
"Hey, that'sThat kid"I wrote it when I was there. Are you going to hurt Yuna again?"
"Then you're going to live your whole life not knowing? Yuna, you should know now too."
I've never kept a diary before. Oh, I think I've kept one since second grade. But I'm not the type to keep one. I decided to go home and check.
***
"The diary... oh, I found it!"
As soon as I got home, I threw down my bag and took out the box containing the memories of high school that I had been curious about for half a day. In that box was'If you don't want to get hurt again, don't open it.'It was written like this. I think I wrote it, but I suddenly became afraid to take it out.
But if I give up here, I'm not Min Yoon-ah. I opened the box right away. Inside were my graduation album, the writing utensils I used back then, old notebooks and textbooks I'd used until the corners were worn away. Sticker photos I took with my friends.diaryclass Mysterious USBIt was.
It was a plain notebook, like something out of a DeO note. Judging by the absence of my friends' doodles and stickers, I must have treasured this notebook quite a bit.
There was a Post-it note stuck to the front of the diary, seemingly written by me. It looked as if I had held back tears, but perhaps I couldn't hold them back in the end. There were tear stains left behind. The message my past self had tried to convey to me, even holding back tears.
'Don't open this. You'll regret it.That kidPlease don't remember.'
It was. It was the same for me in the past, and for my friends. Who on earth was that child? And what kind of person was that child to me that I cried just thinking about him.
I cautiously opened the diary. With a thud, something that looked like a photograph fell to the floor inside the diary. I absentmindedly picked it up. Just like the object, my tears fell to the floor with a thud.
"I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry that I only remembered now."
It was something I hadn't expected. No, I guess everyone expected it except me.That kidIt was a picture of. I must never forget,That kidA. It was beautifully preserved in the photo.
I couldn't forget. I couldn't keep it locked away in a box like this, writing a warning to prevent anyone from opening it out of curiosity. I couldn't let that moment be so painful that I lost my memory. I had to remember it for the rest of my life. No matter how painful it was, I had to carry that pain with me.
But what can I do? AlreadyThat kidI longed for something that wasn't there for me. Like the phrase written on the back of this photo. More desperately than anyone else.
Do you know that my feelings back then, when I held back my tears and ran away to put your photo in my diary, smiling brightly like this, my feelings when I stuck your photo in my graduation album one by one as if denying the truth while lost in sorrow, and my current feelings that are only now belatedly coming to mind, are all because I miss you.
Perhaps you only knew the happiness of the moment this photo was taken. You were frozen in time. Time continued to flow for me, forgetting you.
The words you wrote on the back of the photo, and your handwriting, were enough to break me down. They so clearly revealed your beautiful heart. Because I'll never see that heart again. Because your wishes won't come true. Because you'll never be by my side again.
In my beautiful moments, I always want you to be by my side.
- J.M.-