No matter how hard my brain tries to deny it, I still can't change the fact that even though Sehun will be a crazy man who is willing to abandon his honor for his obsession with his own cousin, his love for Jongdae is pure. And that's what he should do with the creature inside Jongdae's stomach too: love it.
But, Sehun's words just now made my head spin, it reminded me of the incident in Jongdae's hospital room where Sehun, who initially supported whatever Jongdae decided, now turned around and incited Jongdae to abort his pregnancy. Every time I remembered the fact that it was my actions that had endangered Jongdae's life and made him disabled, my ego worked even harder to deny it all.
My hands tried to crawl, dragging my injured leg, trying to reach the wheelchair that was lying half a meter from where I was kneeling helplessly.
“Uncle, you can trust me, your nephew,” Sehun said again to reassure Uncle Kim, his voice loud as if it was competing with the increasingly heavy rain.
I quickly turned my head to look at the conversation. “Everything that came out of her mouth was a lie about her obsession with Jongdae.”
Sehun glared at me—who was already back in the wheelchair. “I. Am. The. Father. Of. That. Fucking. Fetus, Bastard!”
My lips formed a lopsided grin as I watched him growl and emphasize each sentence, it wasn't hard to tell he was cornered, especially when I saw those clenched fists. Now I knew, besides being crazy and obsessed with his own cousin, Sehun was also delusional. "Instead of Uncle being confused about which of us is telling the truth and which is lying, why doesn't Uncle Kim just ask Jongdae directly?" I smiled triumphantly as I suggested this, making Sehun desperately try not to lunge at me and kill me right now. "Isn't this better than putting on a useless show in the hospital like this? The other patients will be disturbed later."
For a while, the three of us stayed in silence with the increasingly strong rain and wind, until finally the man in his 40s whose facial features were inherited from Jongdae took his cellphone lying on the table and walked away, leaving the two of us without saying anything.
Shortly after he left, Sehun approached me with a piercing gaze. "After Jongdae dumps you, will you harbor a grudge against him and ultimately choose to leave him?" I rested my elbows on the back of my wheelchair, looking up at the insignificant Sehun who was now staring at me with a gaze that looked as if he wanted to skin me alive.
“No,” Sehun replied, “I will search for you to the ends of the earth, kill you, and do everything I can to make JongdaeHyung be mine."
I raised an eyebrow in disdain. “Including being a criminal?” This spoiled-looking high school kid who still liked to drink milk before bed wouldn’t dare take someone’s life, would he?
“Including if I have to go to hell.”
After giving me a sharp glance, Sehun immediately hurried after Uncle Kim, leaving me alone in the hospital cafeteria with a sad smile. At least if I die in a racing accident, there'll still be someone to pick up the widower, right? Too bad Sehun had to swallow Spongebob's boot, because I wasn't going to die that easily.
“Damn, do I have to roll this wheelchair all the way to my room by myself?” The rain still showed no signs of letting up as evening fell and I was the only one left in the cafeteria. I frowned in confusion when a woman suddenly approached me. “Who?” Her face was covered by a black mask, and a pair of sunglasses that looked like the latest model perched on her head.
“There is something important I need to discuss with you alone.”
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“You don’t have any serious intentions of marrying Jongdae, do you?”
I sat in my wheelchair, speechless as the woman impolitely led me to my room, even though I hadn't even given her permission. Finally, she closed the door to my room and removed her mask, revealing her face. I finally understood why she wanted to speak to me alone.
“I love Jongdae, but I want him to achieve his dreams first,” I replied confidently. “Why are you suddenly asking me this? Didn’t you and your husband never like me?”
The woman who was currently leaning against the edge of the table folded her arms, while her pair of brown eyes never once failed to notice my movements. "Tsk, you're not good at lying, if you really love Jongdae, you shouldn't have ruined it, or at least not played with fire behind his back."
I laughed softly at his statement. “How can you be so sure when you don’t even know me that well?”
The woman sighed. “Not everyone is blessed by the Creator to have children, Chanyeol,” she said, “that almost happened to me and my husband, for years we tried to have children and after almost 7 years, we finally got Jongdae into this world as our only child.” I frowned in confusion at her seemingly roundabout way of speaking.
“To the poin,what do you really want to tell me?”
Jongdae's mother, who had been lowering her gaze, suddenly lifted her face, staring at me sharply. "Persuade Jongdae to abort that jinxed fetus, I don't want to lose my only son. You probably heard everything, I know you and your friend were hiding and heard all our conversations, I also heard your conversation with my husband, I don't care about anything other than Jongdae's safety because that fetus could endanger my child's life."
Jongdae's mother, whose surname I knew was Oh, was Sehun's aunt, and she stepped out, but she paused in front of the door for a moment before turning around and saying, "I don't care who the father is, I just want my son to be safe." Before finally turning around and actually walking out of my hospital room. She closed the white hospital door a little roughly.
I sighed softly. “I want that thing dead too, you know.”
Everyone wants the creature in Jongdae's stomach to die, I did the right thing when I gave Jongdae the abortion pill, right?
“Aaarrrgghhhhhkkk!” I screamed loudly, and deliberately fell to the floor on my knees, nodding my head to the floor in the hope that the dizziness that had been hitting me for a while would lessen a little.
I have to meet Jongdae immediately and talk to him alone.
When night fell, I woke up at 10:48 PM, getting ready to sneak into Jongdae's room. My phone alarm rang, and I suddenly realized I'd been too impatient to wake up early.
In the corridors, most people had already rested, with only a few nurses and patients' families still seen wandering around the hospital. A swarm of mosquitoes could be seen swarming around the garden and hospital lights, many of their wings having fallen off and become ant food.
In the cold night air after the rain had stopped at 7 p.m., I was wearing the leather jacket I'd been wearing since the accident. I felt like I was turning the wheels to go faster, even though it somehow felt incredibly slow, unlike walking on two feet. Could this really be what it felt like to be disabled?
Jongdae was in room 21, and there should have been someone guarding him inside. I should have texted him to meet, but I was too cowardly. What if Jongdae didn't want to meet and instead asked someone to stay with him all night? So I had to see for myself and create an opportunity for us to be alone.
The wheelchair I was sitting in swerved when my eyes accidentally caught sight of Jongdae, who was breathing in the night air, standing in the doorway as if waiting for someone. I quickly accelerated the large wheel until Jongdae finally noticed my presence and hurried into the room.
“Jongdae, please don’t!” I shouted, startling the security guard passing by. “Jongdae, please give me a moment to talk to you!” I ignored the pain in my still-unhealed joints and forced myself to stand by climbing onto the wall. “Jongdae, please, let’s talk!”
When I fell and had difficulty getting back up, the security guard who had passed by tried to help me up and put me back in the wheelchair.
“Sir, please take me to room 21!” I pointed to Jongdae’s door, which was already tightly closed. When I arrived at the door, through the glass, I could see Jongdae curled up on the bed with a blanket covering his entire body. “Jongdae, please let me in for a moment.” I knocked on the door. “Kim Jongdae! Jongdae!”
The security guard was still standing behind me when I smiled with relief when I saw Jongdae open the blanket, and with an annoyed face staring at me grumpily, his long, neck-length hair sticking out in all directions. With stomping steps, Jongdae walked towards the door, but he still wouldn't open it.
“Don’t do anything, my family is here,” he threatened, “if you only want to apologize after seeing my condition, you should just leave, Chanyeol.”
Jongdae spoke behind the door, his voice not very audible, but the movement of his lips and the mist that clung to the glass was enough for me to translate everything.
I unzipped my jacket and showed him the patient gown I was wearing—the same one Jongdae was wearing—, and his mouth immediately fell open with his two small hands covering his mouth.
“You didn’t steal it, did you?” I translated his words, if Jongdae was being this random, it meant he was recovering and fine. “I’m going to be disabled for a while. So let’s have a serious talk together.”
Jongdae shook his head, he hugged himself, but if you looked more closely, Jongdae was hugging his stomach tightly.
So he's afraid I'll hurt that strange creature in his stomach again?
“No—” I shook my head when suddenly someone appeared beside me, with a sharp gaze, Jongdae’s mother told her only child to open the door, Jongdae immediately rushed to close the door after his mother entered and didn’t give me the slightest chance to see him.
However, Jongdae's mother's hand stopped her son's action. "Let Chanyeol talk to you for a moment, Jongdae."
Jongdae's face looked disapproving. “But,Uncle.I don't want to see him!”
So, that woman thought that I was on her side?
“Follow the wordsMom"If you still want to stay in South Korea," she said firmly. And after saying that, the woman who always wore bright red lipstick immediately walked away, leaving the two of us in the room after closing the door.
I sat in my wheelchair while Jongdae sat on the bed with his legs crossed. We both fell into silence for a few moments.
“I read on the internet that sitting like that will make your blood flow less smooth—”
Instead of answering my words with a sentence, Jongdae immediately changed his leg position to stretch out.
“You’re still the same as yesterday,” Jongdae said suddenly.
“Me? Yesterday?” I asked, confused.
“What do you expect from humans?” Jongdae pretended to play with his phone while I was free to observe his soft features, “they won’t be able to change their bad nature overnight, right?”
“You’re right,” I agreed. “But that doesn’t mean they can’t change for the better, does it?”
Jongdae lifted his head. “Did you think I was talking about you, Chanyeol?”
“Yes,” I answered confidently. “Who else would you want to criticize when it’s just you and me here—”
“Hwang Chihyung,” Jongdae interrupted quickly, “in the dramaNow, We Are Breaking Up.”
My mouth gaped wide open, I forgot that Jongdae was a drama maniac, once when we were in 2nd grade, Jongdae talked about the hot kissing scene he watched last night on the teacher's desk in front of the class, he even almost practiced the scene with a book, but didn't because the teacher suddenly stood with a scary face in front of the door.
“Ah, okay.” I scratched the back of my neck awkwardly, never once having watched anything called a romance drama like that.
“By the way, Chanyeol,” Jongdae said. “What exactly did you want to talk to me about? Why is my mom suddenly so nice to you?” Jongdae probed with his narrow eyes. “If you’re all working together to make me a murderer, you better get out of here right now.” I could see Jongdae’s face as he tried to hold back his tears.
“Why do you still want to keep him even after knowing that he will most likely be born with a disability?” I asked curiously.
“Because he is my flesh and blood,” Jongdae answered simply.
I frowned in discontent. “Even after knowing that his presence could endanger your own life?”
“Yes.” Jongdae looked at me firmly. “Because she is my flesh and blood.”
“You could create another creature like this, one that is more perfect and healthy,” I said, “why—”
“Shut up!” Jongdae shouted angrily. “This fetus and I wouldn’t be in this predicament if you hadn’t given me those damned drugs!” Jongdae got out of bed and headed for the door.
“Jongdae, where are you going?” I asked, rocking the wheels of the chair I was sitting in with difficulty. “Don’t go—”
“So… what else do we have to talk about?” I could see tears in the eyes of the person I used to worship like a god. “This conversation only hurts my heart, no one wants to defend him like a human, all of you only treat him like an item that can be thrown away and bought at any time, even Sehun who was on my side yesterday has changed direction and attacked me. Why do you keep undermining me like this? I need a support or at least someone who will listen to my opinion, but you don’t even let me breathe in peace!”
Jongdae's breath rose and fell as he finally let out everything with overflowing emotions, his tears could no longer be held back and now they had wet his cheeks.
“I’m not asking you to accept him, I’m just asking you to let him live! What’s so hard about it…? Is it because of my life? You yourself sometimes treat me like a heartless doll? Sticking your lips here and there every time someone teases you! Gradually, I’m fed up with my life!”
“How long are you going to last?” I asked suddenly after I felt Jongdae had calmed down a little, while I myself had to suppress my ego which was currently struggling.
“W-what?”
“How long will you last?” I repeated, “you should talk to the doctor about this more seriously if you really want to keep him, as the doctor said that he will endanger your life, so if you want to keep him you have to get serious treatment.”
Jongdae twisted the hem of his shirt. “What do you mean, Chanyeol?” he asked timidly, and I could sense the hope in his question.
With great difficulty, I pulled Jongdae's wrist closer to mine. "Give me one last chance to make things right," I begged, "many people change, whether for the better or for the worse." I held Jongdae in my arms as he sat on my lap. "And I hope you'll guide me to become a better person."
Jongdae buried his face in the crook of my neck as he cried, while I kept kissing the back of his neck. Gently rubbing his fragile back to calm him down, at least crying would make Jongdae feel a little better, I don't know when the last time I treated Jongdae this sweetly—
"What is this?!"
I was shocked when suddenly Jongdae's body was dragged from my embrace by someone who had just shouted angrily.
“You're okay, right?Hyung?”
I saw Sehun gently wiping Jongdae's tears before he turned to me and glared at me angrily, his fist punching my nose until it bled and maybe even broke? Before I could process what the high school kid was doing, Sehun kicked me until I fell off the wheelchair.
“Sehun! What are you doing!” Jongdae screamed in panic, trying to hold Sehun’s arm to stop him from hitting me again. “Sehun, don’t!”
I wiped the fresh blood from my nose in annoyance, struggling to get up on my still-shaking legs. “Hey, little one, don’t get involved in adult problems—”
“Damn it!” Sehun mercilessly attacked me again, repeatedly kicking me in the heart and face. “Just die, damn it!”
Just as Sehun was about to kick me in the face again, I swiftly grabbed his right leg so tightly that he couldn't move anymore. With all my strength, I slammed Sehun's leg down, and at the same time, Sehun jumped, using his left foot to stomp on my face—
"Jongdae"Hyung!”
"Kim Jongdae!"
I glared when Sehun's left kick missed my face and instead hit Jongdae's face when he stupidly hugged my head, making him the one who got hit by the kick.
As soon as I released my grip on his leg, Sehun immediately crouched down beside Jongdae's unconscious body, fresh blood coming out of his right ear.
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