Peach Blossom Land: A paradise beyond the secular world
As soon as I saw this word, I thought of you.
Because every moment I spent with you was like a paradise in a dream, so happy without any sense of reality.
But should that have remained my only thought?
Should I have just looked at you lovingly without being greedy for you and without trying to hold you in my hand like a red camellia?
I first met you, who looked like a red camellia, under a peach blossom tree during the spring rain of Gokwoo (穀雨).
Even though I was twenty-three, past the age of marriage, I still hadn't had that common first love.
I wasn't particularly interested in marriage, so people around me even teased me by saying that I was into men. I wasn't interested in women.
But the moment I saw you standing under the peach blossom tree on that spring day, my empty world suddenly began to shine with your colors.
Not a bright color that hurts the eyes, but a hazy color that is familiar and makes you want to keep looking at it.
I continued to stare blankly at you under that tree.
As if it were just you and me in this mundane world, as if this chaotic and crowded space had suddenly become a paradise, a peach blossom garden, I couldn't come to my senses from the strange and unprecedented excitement in my heart.
Soon our eyes met, and at the unexpected encounter, my face turned red like a squat (actually a squat), and I could only lower my head.
But when I looked into your eyes during that brief eye contact, it seemed as if the night sky was contained in them.
It's completely different from the night sky we see, like the one people often say, "There are stars in your eyes," but it's a night sky I've never seen before and will never see again.
But I guess my stubborn nature couldn't be helped.
Without being able to tell you this, I had no choice but to rush out of there with my cheeks red and return home.
But even after I got home, I kept thinking about you.
Even when I close my eyes, I can see you and I can't tell if it's day or night.
Because day and night were all you
There was absolutely no space in my heart, it was all you.
And that night, I experienced lovesickness for the first time.
I used to tease my comrades about their lovesickness, so I thought it was quite funny.
But when I actually experienced it, I thought it was more serious than any other incurable disease.
That's why I went to see you again at that place where the peach blossoms were in full bloom.
I was worried that you might not be there again, but luckily you were there like a camellia flower.
On the one hand, I was relieved, but on the other hand, the feeling of yesterday washing over me like a tidal wave made my five senses dizzy and I couldn't come to my senses again.
And then our eyes met again, and I had no choice but to bow my head again like a monk.
And then, trying not to let my feelings get out again, I was about to go back home like yesterday, when suddenly, with my head down, a pair of bright red flower shoes caught my eye.
I looked up wondering what was going on and there before me was you, the one I had only seen from afar.
As I was taken aback by the unexpected turn of events, you took a step back and boldly asked me why I had been looking at you like that since yesterday.
To the unexpected question, I couldn't answer properly, my face redder than a carrot, and I couldn't help but blush even more because you were staring at me.
When I couldn't answer, you surprised me again with an unexpected question: "Are you in love with me?"
And even now, when I think about it, I still can't help but wonder what courage it took for me to nod my head.
After that, we started dating with the intention of marriage.
When I asked him why he had been under that tree for two days, he said that a matchmaker had agreed to set up a match for him, but for some reason, the promised date had not come for three days, so he had been waiting there.
And then he continued,
I think you and I were meant to meet because the matchmaker didn't come.
And when I asked him what would happen if I were a bad person, he smiled brightly like a camellia flower and said, “If bad people have such kind eyes, then there must be more than half of bad people in this world.”
I couldn't help but laugh along with you at that laugh.
After that, it was a smooth love life and a smooth married life.
Although it wasn't much, working in a factory and managing the household was fun.
Experiencing all of this for the first time, I felt so happy, like in a dream, that I thought this might be paradise.
Then, the following spring, a baby came to us too.
We haven't had a baby in over a year since we got married, so people around us were worried, and we were worried too, knowingly or unknowingly. Fortunately, we got pregnant, and everyone said that there was no better celebration than this.
But the slope didn't last long.
When I went to the hospital, the doctor said that the mother's body was weak.
When I heard that I should give up on having children, I felt like I was going downhill.
That feeling wasn't just because I was giving up my baby, but because when I looked into your eyes, they were the eyes that said I would never give up my baby.
Even if that choice
Even if I make you disappear from this world.
After that, the constant requests were fulfilled.
When I told you to think only of yourself, you just looked at me quietly.
And that winter, the baby was born
But you and the baby never existed in this world.
Grain rain came again and spring rain fell.
In that place where peach blossoms and camellias bloomed in the rain, in that place where everything was the same, in that place where my heart was the same as the tidal wave when I first met you, there was only you, only you.
So today, too, I close my eyes in that place where the moonlight shines and look for you inside me.
A fantasy that spreads through my dreams, in which you fly closer to me.
I found you while searching, and when I opened my eyes again in the paradise of that dream, I remembered you, who only seeped into me.
VIXX - The Peach Blossom Spring