5 years ago, 5 years later

Ep.17 5 Years Ago [1/3]

write.Uhwari (This episode is really really triggering)

최수빈[14]

“Hey, did you do your math homework?”

이여주[14]

“Huh? Did you have math homework today??”

최수빈[14]

“No, it’s tomorrow.”

이여주[14]

“Do you want to fall behind?”

It was so peaceful. You and I five years ago.

Other people called you picky and prickly, but I liked you for who you are.

최수빈[14]

“Hey, are you busy today?”

이여주[14]

“No, not really”

최수빈[14]

“Then come play with me!”

이여주[14]

"where"

최수빈[14]

"downtown?"

이여주[14]

“I hate it when there are a lot of people. I feel like I’m going to throw up.”

최수빈[14]

“Um... Then shall we go play in the neighborhood again?”

이여주[14]

“The neighborhood... is a bit boring.”

최수빈[14]

“Then let’s play at school.”

Yeoju nodded, saying she had nowhere to go.

Soobin grabbed Yeoju's hand and pulled her along.

최수빈[14]

“The kids at our school don’t study much, so there’s no one in the library.”

Yeo-ju chuckled at Soobin's words. "He hit the nail on the head," she said.

The heroine wandered around to read a book.

Soobin sat there, looking at Yeoju, without even looking for a book.

이여주[14]

“Don’t you read books?”

최수빈[14]

“This book is boring. Just play with me.”

In the first place, Soobin didn't come to the library to read books; he was just looking for a place with fewer people.

이여주[14]

“You should read a lot of books. They’re secretly useful.”

이여주[14]

“It’s possible to hit back with words when arguing.”

최수빈[14]

“Did you read the book to write like that? LOL”

Yeoju gave a thumbs-up. Subin simply found her cute.

최수빈[14]

“The weather is so nice today.”

In the library, when the real heroine read a book without saying a word, Soobin led her out to the playground.

Now that school was almost over, there was no one in the playground.

이여주[14]

“Oh, I haven’t finished reading the book.”

최수빈[14]

"Shh. That's not important. Life isn't something you learn from paper."

Soobin and Yeoju's conversation was quite trivial. It wasn't even about everyday life. Yeoju dislikes everyday life. It was just that the sun was too dazzling. It was a boring conversation. But the two couldn't stop laughing, as if they were enjoying something so special.

The sun was already setting

최수빈[14]

“Oh, I don’t want to go home.”

이여주[14]

"me too"

Still, Soobin stood up bravely and reached out to help Yeoju up.

The heroine took his hand and got up from her seat.

최수빈[14]

“Shall we go home now?”

이여주[14]

"okay"

최수빈[14]

“Oh, it’s so sad to break up.”

Soobin grabbed Yeoju's collar.

이여주[14]

“I don’t want to go either.”

최수빈[14]

“What time will you be coming to school tomorrow?”

이여주[14]

“I’m going to leave a little early at 8:20.”

최수빈[14]

“Okay, I should go then too. See you tomorrow, Yeoju!”

The female protagonists waved and headed to their respective homes.

Trigger Warning: This material may trigger trauma. Please watch with caution.

I also hate the moment we break up

When I'm with you, all the bad memories disappear and I can focus only on you.

이여주[14]

‘But that kid’s not here anymore, right?’

I stood in front of the house

And I felt

My expectations were completely off the mark

As she opened the door, a muscular man's hand reached out and tugged at her hair mercilessly. She was dragged inside without even taking off her shoes. Rather than simply entering, she felt like she was dragged inside by her hair. It happened so quickly that she couldn't even resist.

이여주[14]

“Whoa!”

A frail woman's screams echoed throughout the house. But in this damned neighborhood, most people come only to sleep at night, so no one would come to rescue her.

여주 아빠

"Why are you coming in now? I almost lost my neck waiting for you."

Judging by the unsteady feet and hiccuping, he must have had another round of drinks. The strength of someone who's been drinking is immense. Perhaps it's because I can't see clearly, but even as I staggered, the grip of his hand on my hair was so strong I couldn't shake it off.

I just had to accept it

What a clever father. He never hits me in the face. He only hits me below the neck. He knows I won't report him. That's why he just has to fool others.

여주 아빠

"Dad's pissed, right? You should've come home early."

여주 아빠

“Dad says this, so don’t you have anything to say?”

이여주[14]

“....I was wrong”

‘Actually, I didn’t do anything wrong.’

여주 아빠

".......really?"

이여주[14]

"yes...."

The female protagonist's father stopped hitting her and bent down to match her height, holding only her hair.

And then suddenly he started laughing silently

여주 아빠

“Um...what did I do wrong?”

All I could think was, "Why is this kid acting like this?" And then I thought, "If I talk nicely here, maybe they won't hit me?"

이여주[14]

“First of all...I didn’t come in right after school ended.”

여주 아빠

“You don’t come home often.”

The heroine's father twirled her hair with his hand. She grew even more frightened.

이여주[14]

“Then... today....”

여주 아빠

"Ding ding ding, time's up. Oh, to be honest, I was planning on skipping today."

여주 아빠

“I guess you don’t speak well just because you read a lot of books?”

I always read a lot of books to try and argue with this kid. But it seemed like it was a dud in real life.

여주 아빠

“The reason is”

여주 아빠

“It’s just, it’s just”

The female protagonist's father started laughing. This time, he made a "hahaha" sound, but the female protagonist stood frozen in front of him, not even laughing.

It was a look that said, ‘Wow, there are all kinds of guys like this.’

여주 아빠

"Was there a reason I hit you? No, I just hate you for who you are."

이여주[14]

“Why are you treating me like this...?”

It wasn't because I was sad that I cried. It was because I was so frustrated and lost in this situation that I couldn't say anything else. In the end, I was just a loser who cried.

이여주[14]

“No… If you hated me that much… You shouldn’t have given birth to me… Or you could have just abandoned me in an orphanage. Why are you ruining someone else’s life, huh?”

The female protagonist's father released his grip on her hair. He then staggered over, grabbed the lukewarm drink left on the floor, gulped it down, and then took a swig from the bottle.

여주 아빠

“Why am I ruining your life?”

여주 아빠

“My life was ruined after giving birth to you, so yours should be ruined too, right?”

이여주[14]

“Why do you feel so wronged that you gave birth to me with the woman you love?”

여주 아빠

“What... what could be so unfair... um.....”

The female protagonist's father tapped his chin with his index finger and said, "Ah."

여주 아빠

“Your mother’s death is fucking annoying. Just hold on a little longer and you’ll get over it, damn it. What’s the point of getting over it then? I went to jail because of that bitch and it’s fucking messed up.”

The heroine's breathing became increasingly labored. She wasn't short of space, nor was she asthmatic. It felt like lava was boiling in her chest.

My heart was pounding inside me, and I couldn't speak. I was so dumbfounded that I couldn't speak, and all I could do was scream.

The heroine clutched her neck and, without letting go, squeezing her neck tightly. She begged for something to be said, but all that came out was a shriek.

That sound wasn't just the cry of a woman overcome with anger. It was more like the cry of an animal, crying for help, unable to live any longer.

"You went to jail because it was your karma. And your sentence was reduced. My poor mother died because of her mental weakness. She died. You strangled her in front of me. Don't you feel even a pang of conscience? Really? It's so horrible that you're my father."

I just kept repeating the words that wouldn't come out.

여주 아빠

“What’s wrong with you, you little bitch, why don’t you shut up?”

The female protagonist's father's words were not heard. The female protagonist's cries seemed to echo throughout the room and fill the neighborhood.

여주 아빠

“Ha...it’s noisy...”

In an instant, a hand flew out. It was the hand of the female protagonist's father. It was closer to a fist than a pat.

The female protagonist was hit, but she didn't seem to remember being hit. The violence from her father continued.

I don't know how long it'll last. Didn't they say the alcohol gradually kicks in? This kid seems to be doing the same.

If I push now, I can escape, but even if I do, I'll always end up back here.

Society has abandoned us, so any child who has endured domestic violence for as long as I have is averse to it. I know this all too well. Violence is cyclical, so perhaps this kid who beat me before me also grew up being beaten.

I'd rather die than become the same damn thing. Oh, I feel like I'm losing my mind. The floor is just as damp as it was when my mother died seven years ago.

My eyes slowly close

I'm supposed to meet Subin at school tomorrow at 8:20, but I can't go, right? Subin's probably worried. What kind of expression will you make if you can't go at all?

“Hey lady!”

Mom..? Is it Mom? Have you finally come to see me?

Are you finally coming to see me...? I missed you, Mom. I missed you so much...

The heroine opened her eyes with all her might.

이여주[14]

"uh...? "

이여주[14]

“Choi... Soobin...?”

최수빈[14]

“Hey lady!”

Soobin, who was standing at the front door, ran towards Yeoju's father without even taking off his shoes. Since he was very drunk, he easily stumbled and fell to the side.

Taking advantage of the moment when Yeo-ju's father was struggling, Subin grabbed Yeo-ju's hand and pulled her out.

최수빈[14]

“Huk...Huk...Yeoju!”

The heroine slumped down in her seat, her legs shaking.

최수빈[14]

"are you okay??"

Soobin crouched down and examined Yeoju's face. He usually didn't touch her face, but this time, he seemed to be unable to contain his excitement.

최수빈[14]

"What? Who is it? Was it a robbery? Oh! I didn't report it to the police, you little girl. Can't you move? Call an ambulance..."

이여주[14]

“No, no, don’t call anyone.”

Yeoju snatched the phone that Soobin was holding.

최수빈[14]

“Huh? Do you think we don’t need an ambulance?”

이여주[14]

“Don’t call an ambulance, police, teachers, adults, or friends.”

최수빈[14]

“Uh... why?”

Soobin's eyes were filled with wonder. It was only natural.

이여주[14]

"He's not a robber, he's my dad."

What can I do, being a father? If a normal person were to experience domestic violence, they would readily declare, "Report it!"

But that's not very realistic. I don't feel like that kid is my father in the slightest.

But if I lose my dad, I won't have a home, and I won't have any living expenses, even if they're just a little. I don't want to go to an orphanage. I don't want to be adopted.

I'm afraid of change. I'm afraid of losing everything I have. I'm afraid of taking away the happiness I have now.

I realized too early that God is cruel.

EP.17 5 Years Ago [1/3]

우화리

Oh, it was really hard to write

우화리

Next time I'll never write anything like this

우화리

Oh, that's right. This iceberg is just fiction. It might not be realistic. No, it isn't.

우화리

But the fact that there's a kid like Subin isn't real.

우화리

I removed a lot of the violence because I was afraid it might violate the fanfic level. I didn't accurately depict the beating... right?

Domestic violence encompasses not only physical violence, but also psychological harm, neglect, sexual violence, and financial threats. If you experience any of these incidents, you should absolutely report them. Even if it's someone else's, always report them. Domestic violence is repetitive, so early intervention can prevent recurrence.

In case of an emergency, report domestic violence by calling 112. If sexual violence also occurs, call the women's emergency hotline 1366.