Drops of light

15_Little Star #Little Star

[Yerin's point of view]

A star appeared.

In this desolate life of mine, in my desert, where there was nothing

A star was born.

Without moon, without mountains, without clouds,

It was really just stars.

That one also only got one star.

But how could it be this bright?

Like a streetlight, the star shed light into my eyes.

That star shined so beautifully.

It's so beautiful, can it even illuminate this shabby desert?

I was wondering if I should go to a prettier place

But in the end, it was reflected in my desert

Rather than questioning my qualifications, I decided to just be grateful.

If we go out into the starry universe, there may be many stars brighter than that one.

but,

Because this is not space.

This is not an observatory where you can see a lot of stars.

Because it was just a dark, shabby desert,

So the star that appears in this place shines even brighter

It may look prettier and more precious.

A drop of oasis that appeared in my desolate life

It's a ray of light

Because it's just one flower.

That "one", that "first",

What are those two letters,

They say that he squeezed and released people like that.

Sometimes it makes me happy, grateful, and beautiful

Sometimes it makes me sad, miserable, and crazy.

My "firsts" so far have been filled with misery and despair.

If you open a photo album with the story of "the beginning"

There were only dark pictures

For the first time, a light was placed on the album.

A gap to untangle the tangled knots,

There is now someone who can apply medicine and put a bandage on my wounded heart.

He came to me and opened up to me first.

Thanks to that, I got to know about her

We became good friends

Let me open my heart and tell you about myself,

We finally became "meaning" and "will" to each other.

Because you came to me, I can now have a smile on my face whenever I talk to you.

I share the pain with you

I share tears with you

Share the joy with you

Sharing laughter with you

Because I can share almost everything with you,

I am happy even if my possessions are reduced.

Sometimes, very occasionally, it was a little scary.

I told you everything about myself and you came deep inside me

Just in case one day you suddenly turn your back on me,

I'm afraid you'll leave me without any notice,

I wonder if it's because I did something,

Sometimes I get so scared.

But every time that happens, I just decide to be grateful for the present.

Anyway, human relationships are like that.

Those who are going to leave, leave

Those who are left behind will be left behind

Those who are meant to stay will stay.

Fate is,

The wounds received and the wounds given, the times of pain,

It was all decided.

So I've always hated fate.

The wounds I have received, the times I have been in pain

Fate. It seems like it was all predetermined.

So I felt resentful

But fate is,

It's not always decided that it's a bad thing.

Even in an unchangeable fate, the light called you was determined.

Thanks to you, the person fate gave me, I am living a slightly better life than before.

I knew that fate cannot be changed, so I never hoped for variables in fate.

I thought that even if a variable of fate occurred, it would trample me even more cruelly.

But, with your appearance

For the first time, I was grateful to fate

If you are a variable,

No matter what other variables are, I think it will be okay because of you.

아이리스

_(=Internet symbol)Seliyaang♡ I love you♡

셀레나(정예린)

_Wow me too.. haha

It's been so hard lately

I'm just tired

Even though it was on the internet, it was difficult to laugh as if nothing happened.

Since the opponent was Ari, I showed a little bit of my presence.

For a long time, Ari did not answer.

아이리스

_I'll ask you something in private (= private post)

아이리스

_What's going on?

I felt a lump in my throat for a moment.

Even if I did show my gratitude, it wasn't much, I just added a little '..' and you recognized it right away.

셀레나(정예린)

_Haha....It's just...a bit difficult

It was a little difficult to open up without laughing because of the many times I'd kept my feelings hidden.

But because it was Ari, because she was someone I trusted, I tried to tell her as much as I could.

아이리스

_Why.. can you tell me..?

This is one of the reasons why I like you.

If you're having a hard time, don't be hard and cheer up, but don't say anything even though you don't know

Why is it so hard? He suddenly comes in and says

I was so grateful that you approached me so carefully.

셀레나(정예린)

_It's just... I feel like I'm not loved by anyone..ㅎ

셀레나(정예린)

_I feel useless and like no one needs me

셀레나(정예린)

_I hate to think like this and I know I shouldn't, but whenever I'm feeling weak like this, this thought comes to me. What should I do?

셀레나(정예린)

_Then I can't resist at all and am dominated by that thought..

셀레나(정예린)

_What should I do... This is really so hard...

셀레나(정예린)

_What can someone like me do? I know I shouldn't be doing this..

I spoke honestly.

Ari's answer, which came back, made me think a lot.

Among them were worries, fears, and trepidation, along with a little relief.

아이리스

_It was really hard...

아이리스

_Being ruled by a certain thought means that you are tired and struggling.

아이리스

_If you were having a hard time, you should have just told me. I'm here for you.

"I'm here"

It's just one word, just five letters, but why do so many emotions come rushing in like waves?

I was so grateful and so relieved.

I feel like you, the only one, will never leave me.

Rather than giving shallow comfort with shallow words

I was so grateful that you sympathized deeply and spoke to me, one word at a time, the words I needed.

아이리스

_You're not useless. It's not like everyone doesn't need you.

아이리스

_I don't know about other people, but I need you more than anyone else.

아이리스

_I love and like you so much

아이리스

_You are so precious and I really can't live without you

아이리스

_You don't know because I didn't say anything, but every time I wanted to die, I thought of you and that's why I've held on until now.

아이리스

_You are so precious to me, my hope, my happiness.

아이리스

_Honestly, I don't know what hope and happiness are.

아이리스

_When I think about the feelings I feel when I talk to you

아이리스

_I think that's hope and happiness

아이리스

_I hope you don't think like that because you are such a precious person

I feel this every time, but Ari is my happiness, my hope, and the value and meaning of my life.

Like Ari, I am hopeful and happy, and I don't know what it is.

But really, when I talk to Ari, my expression is brighter than ever.

The emotions I feel are also more beautiful than ever.

In this way, we feel that we are precious to each other.

Every word Ari says to me helps me endure this barren desert.

And so I became comfortable with the words you whispered

You came into my life like a pretty little star.

[15_Little Star #Little Star] the end

밤 작가

I've been on the phone a lot lately, so I've rarely been able to log in ㅠㅠ Instead, I've been filling up the volume hehe

밤 작가

Merry Christmas to all readers♥