If pain has a forecast

25

윤여주

So? So what do you want me to do after finding out?

I ended up getting angry at the author. Rather than being surprised at the news that my disability had improved, I just got angry out of nowhere. At the same time, the tears that had stopped flowing out of my eyes suddenly started to flow.

김석진

Yes···? Why, why are you crying···.

윤여주

We decided to forget each other···. I have something to say to the writer···,

김석진

I tried hard to meet the curator. I wanted to find out first. I thought you'd like me...

윤여주

I'm sorry... I need to rest.

김석진

Contact me···! Can I···?

윤여주

···Don't do that. I told the manager, didn't you hear? I told him not to look for me even if he finds me.

김석진

I heard. I heard···.

윤여주

Then please go.

김석진

I like you···. I still like you···.

When the author confessed, my feet felt stuck to the ground and I couldn't move. My head was filled with complicated thoughts.

윤여주

Author... Please stop now.

I managed to spit out the words with a trembling voice. I tried to stop the tears, but my emotions were already out of control.

윤여주

Even if you say that, my heart doesn't change...

The author looked at me quietly. His eyes were filled with sadness and longing. There was silence for a few seconds. And finally, he spoke in a low voice.

김석진

I... don't think I can send the curator away again.

I shook my head and took a step back.

윤여주

Author... Even if we start over, it'll be the same again. We'll get hurt more, hurt more... and eventually, we'll drift apart.

김석진

no.

The author spoke firmly. There was no wavering in his voice.

김석진

This time it's different. Because I've changed. I can recognize you as a curator now, and I can protect you.

I was momentarily speechless at his sincere words. He seemed different from the author I had known. I could feel how earnestly he had tried to get to know me.

But I was still scared. The old me didn't want to break up because the writer didn't recognize me, but because I had made the writer suffer so much that I wasn't sure if I could accept this relationship again.

윤여주

I'm sorry. I'm not ready to love anyone yet.

윤여주

No matter how much the author has changed... I'm still the same as I was back then. I don't want to make things difficult for the author anymore.

김석진

I'm fine. Why do you think I'm going to make things difficult for you, Curator? Why are you worrying so much? Can't you just keep looking after me so I can come back slowly?

I bowed my head and turned around without saying anything.

I felt like my heart was going to break when I heard his voice from behind, but I ran home as if I was running away. As soon as I closed the door and leaned against the wall, tears started to flow. I don’t know why I have to make such painful choices, why our love always goes wrong like this.

.

[A week later]

I still spent time thinking about that day. The author's voice, his expression, and his earnest confession never left my mind.

While I was wondering if I could accept him again, he tried to contact me in any way he could: through his manager, by email, using every means of communication.

Then one day, there was a letter from the author in my mailbox.

김석진

✉️ To curator Yoon Yeo-ju.

김석진

Since I met you again, I haven't gone a single day without thinking about you. I know you're having a hard time, and I know I'm making it harder for you, but I can't stop.

김석진

Now, let's get to know the curator first, say hello first, and if we can just live like a normal couple, or at least like when we were young, then I'm satisfied with that.

김석진

I've been working really hard on my treatment so far, thinking of meeting you, Curator. Now that I can remember and recognize your face for the rest of my life, can we forget about the hard times we had in the past and start over?

김석진

I don't know when, but when the curator is really feeling better, I'll ask him again. Can I stay by your side? I'll wait for your call.

김석진

I still··· like it.

김석진

-seokjin kim-

I was unable to move for a long time, holding the letter in my hand. Each and every word, filled with his sincerity, struck my heart.

I still didn't have the courage to face him again, but I couldn't ignore his sincerity. I didn't want to make the writer suffer again, but I decided to open my heart little by little, thinking that my current actions were definitely making him suffer.

.

..

…

윤여주

Curator Kim.

김태형 큐레이터

Yes, curator.

윤여주

Can you talk to me...?

김태형 큐레이터

Oh... Did I do something wrong?

윤여주

No lol it's personal.

김태형 큐레이터

Ahhh... I'm so scared. Let's go.

.

윤여주

I... met the author.

김태형 큐레이터

Are you a writer? What kind of writer are you?

I looked at Curator Kim without saying a word.

Curator Kim opened his eyes wide as if trying to read my expression, paused for a moment, then nodded as if he had gotten the hang of it.

김태형 큐레이터

Ah... Author Seokjin Kim.

I nodded and sighed quietly.

김태형 큐레이터

What conversation did you have with the author that made you so worried again?

윤여주

He just... said he still likes me and wants to start over. He said he was working hard on his face recognition disorder treatment while thinking of me and it got better. He said he wants to be the first to recognize me and stuff.

Curator Kim seemed to ponder for a moment with his lips pursed. Then he asked cautiously.

김태형 큐레이터

Really?! Then··· what do you want to do, curator?

I couldn't answer that question easily. All my worries and confusions from that time came back to me at once. I made up my mind, but it's true that I'm scared to actually start.

윤여주

I don't know. I just... I was wondering what I would do if I made things difficult for him again.

윤여주

I'm afraid that if I accept him again, our relationship will fail again. I don't want to do anything difficult anymore.

Curator Kim was silent for a moment. Then he carefully opened his mouth.

김태형 큐레이터

Why are you scared? If you start over, it might be different.

김태형 큐레이터

The old author didn't like the fact that the curator had a hard time because he had a disability, but things are a lot different now.

윤여주

Could that be so···?

김태형 큐레이터

Curator... you still have feelings for the author.

윤여주

······.

김태형 큐레이터

No matter what the situation is, if the curator has the heart, just do what your heart tells you to do. Don't think about it later.

윤여주

While the author was away... I'd be lying if I said I never thought of the author even once...

김태형 큐레이터

The answer is out.

윤여주

Why do you think so simply?

김태형 큐레이터

What will happen if you overthink it? Sometimes it's better to do what you feel like doing rather than thinking too much. So, think about it slowly.

Then Curator Kim left with a smile. I was lost in thought as I pondered his words. When I look back on my past, I had too many thoughts. It is true that those complicated thoughts made us grow further apart from our hearts.

The decisions we made so far because we didn't want to hurt each other ended up hurting us more. Now, he picked up his phone as if he had really made up his mind.

💬 Author, is your time okay?

I sent it. But···, 30 minutes, 1 hour, 3 hours, and 5 hours passed after sending it, and even when the day was almost over, there was still no reply.

I had no idea that I wouldn't get a reply, so I ended up thinking a lot. Was I too late, or had he given up on me... We ended up parting ways again.

MEY메이

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