Season 2_Jang Ma-eum, an orphan with a family of 13
#6_Trying to find the real name 4
장여주
"Okay, go out quickly. We'll talk later."
Seungcheol forcibly lifted Chani, who didn't want to go out.
I chuckled and said thank you.
It was only after that commotion that I was able to be alone with Shua oppa.
홍지수
“I’m glad it’s not as bad as I thought, lady.”
홍지수
“If it were more serious, I would have fallen behind the members…”
장여주
“I think you’ve already become a traitor.”
홍지수
“You seem to know your place in this house too well…”
장여주
“In this situation, not knowing is more foolish, oppa.”
장여주
"Isn't this a total little sister-fooling thing? I saw something like this in a webtoon."
홍지수
“Well… for Carats, this might be a webtoon-like life.”
장여주
“First of all, it’s not realistic at least.”
I said with a chuckle.
He was looking at me with a loving smile.
장여주
“But… do I really have a chance at an OST?”
홍지수
"What kind of answer do you want? One that soothes your emotions? Or something realistic…?"
장여주
“Asking that means they are two different things.”
홍지수
“Yeah. I did some research…”
I didn't want to be a child anymore.
I wanted to minimize my reliance on them.
I had to rely on them because I was a minor and had no choice.
Before that, I was a person who lived alone until now.
I can't say I lived well, though
According to Sunyoung's brother, it's amazing that she's lived this long...
장여주
“A realistic answer.”
홍지수
“…That text was probably sent about 5 times.”
홍지수
“It’s possible since it’s number 2 among them,”
홍지수
“There’s no reason why the number one person wouldn’t do it.”
홍지수
“And the winner is… Punch.”
장여주
“…The possibility is very low.”
He nodded silently.
홍지수
“I’m sorry, lady…”
장여주
“Why are you sorry, oppa?”
장여주
“You didn’t do anything wrong to me, and you have no reason to apologize.”
I thought as I looked at him smiling awkwardly.
Wouldn't it be okay to allow him to use that name?
He was one of the people who gave me the biggest reason to live.
I saw the pinnacle of human kindness and received that consideration.
He was the one who showed me that I was a valuable person.
장마음
“…not the heroine, but the heart…”
홍지수
"mind…?"
Is it natural for Jisoo oppa not to know?
Compared to Jeonghan, the person who knows my past the best
Most people knew little about my past.
Sorry, guys. Just wait a moment.
If I get a little better, then I'll tell you everything.
I won't hide it then.
장마음
"My… real name. Yeoju was a stage name. I made it up because I didn't want to remember the past…"
What will he think of my attitude?
Well, you wouldn't blame me for trying to forget the past.
I will just hug you and take care of you with a warm heart.
If you want, I'll be by your side until the past becomes okay.
If I don't, I might fall apart.
홍지수
“Yeah, mind. It’s okay if you don’t think about it.”
홍지수
“No matter who you are, I will always be by your side.”
장마음
“…I’m sorry. I hope things get a little better…”
I said that far.
To be exact, I couldn't continue speaking because he hugged me.
홍지수
“You don’t have to say anything. But if you want to talk, I’ll wait.”
홍지수
“We… can wait, no matter how long it takes, because we’ll keep living like this.”
장마음
“But why am I anxious…?”
홍지수
“Anxiety is something that always accompanies life.”
홍지수
“Don’t worry. No matter what happens, I’ll be by your side.”
A week after I told Jisoo oppa the name of my heart.
I was able to get up from my seat thanks to the members' devoted care.
I thought I was really feeling better, but then I suddenly got a fever
Me and the Seventeen guys were also embarrassed.
I practiced almost non-stop, with great mental anguish.
Besides, there were so many things that made me stressed out about studying for the CSAT.
Perhaps it was an inevitable result.
But they really cared for me like my parents, like my older brother, like my friend.
Even though I was in so much pain, I got better so quickly that it was as if I had never been sick.
홍지수
“…Are you awake, mind? How are you feeling?”
The word ‘heart’ rolling from his mouth sounded so pretty to my ears.
장마음
“Okay. I’m completely fine now.”
The reason Jisoo oppa was in my room was because he somehow insisted on sleeping next to me.
You never know what might happen while you're sleeping...
장마음
“Because of me, you slept uncomfortably…”
장마음
"I told you I could go to your room and sleep. It's right next door..."
홍지수
"I feel… uneasy. I'm the one who caused you pain."
장마음
“No…”
홍지수
"then?"
장마음
“You’ve been so busy lately that you’ve been practicing without resting, right?”
장마음
“So, in a way, it was a body ache that was bound to come.”
홍지수
“But if I had just closed the window, it wouldn’t have been this bad.”
I also ended up sticking out my tongue at his stubborn self-reproach.
It feels like an excuse made because he wanted to take care of me, for some reason.
The excuse was so sincere that I felt embarrassed to refute it.
윤정한
“Let’s eat! You can eat if you want!”
Jeonghan froze for a moment at his brother's words.
Until now, he had been calling me Yeoju in front of other members without fail.
I was taken aback when he suddenly called me his heart.
홍지수
“You careless X…”
장마음
“…What should I do? What should I say when the members ask if Maeum-i is my real name?”
장마음
“I’m not ready yet…”
홍지수
"Don't ask the kids. They never will. I guarantee that."
홍지수
“If you don’t answer here, I’ll guess that you don’t want that name.”
홍지수
“The members who can’t guess won’t know who Maeng-i is.”
He smiled affectionately and reassured me.
His pretty smile had a wonderful power to attract people.
홍지수
“I’ll have to scold Yoon Jeong-han later. Right?”
And that playfulness in him was enough to make me fall in love with him.
I answered with a fishy smile.
장마음
"I'll mess with you"
He also laughed, as if he knew my answer was a joke.
장마음
“But… regardless of the past, it’s okay for my brothers to call me Ma-eum.”
장마음
“In fact, not calling it a heart was meant to be revenge against the object of resentment…”
장마음
“But at some point, the name ‘heart’ became too precious to me.”
홍지수
“I guess it’s a process of finding yourself.”
He said it easily.
Maybe it wasn't easy for him to say that either.
The tone was too light for that to be true.
But to me, those words meant a lot.
It was because it explained at once why I came to like the name Ma-eum.
I no longer had to hide my love under the name of heart.
Because liking that name meant loving the real me.
장마음
“Yeah… I guess so.”
He smiled awkwardly.
He seemed puzzled by my behavior, but as always, he smiled and patted my head.
홍지수
“Are you hungry?”
장마음
“Of course! I’ve been eating nothing but porridge all week…”
장마음
“No, wait. What does respiratory disease have to do with death?”
장마음
“It’s not like I can’t digest it… I’m confident I can eat more than Jihoon oppa!”
홍지수
“Huh, that’s true.”
홍지수
"My kids are so overprotective. Please understand."
장마음
“Why are you leaving yourself out of those kids? You were the worst!”
홍지수
“That seems right. Are you going to eat?”
장마음
"Okay. I'll just change my clothes and go out."
홍지수
"okay"
Jisoo Oppa left the room at my words and even closed the door.
I got out of bed and locked the door.