Hoseok
May 10, Year 22
My narcolepsy can happen at any time, in
Anywhere. Collapse without warning.
While I'm working and even on the street. I try not to be
worried about it in front of those who
They worry about me. I haven't told anyone no either.
I can stand counting to ten.
I always end up having the same dreams about
Mom, when I faint. Dreams like I'm going to...
Somewhere with Mom on a bus. He was excited.
And happy. I read the signs passing by, seeing his profile somewhat.
Restless. In my dreams I'm about 7 years old.
Then it suddenly crosses my mind. Mom...
She left; I was 20 when I realized that. Mom kept going.
She was sitting in the seat in front of me on the bus. She looked
exactly the same way from behind. When
I whispered "Mom," and she turned her head when she heard me.
its blurred silhouette through the bright sunlight and its
Hair waving in the wind, just as it looked that day
at the amusement park. The saddest part was that he
knew.
I knew I would wake up from this dream if she turned around.
He looked at me and turned his head; I tried to tell him not to give up.
I turned around, but my voice never came out “Mom, don’t turn around, no”
"Turn around," but she always turned her head to
Looking at me, just as our eyes were about to meet, everything turned white, and the fluorescent light
It appeared from the hospital ceiling.
Today is the same day. When I opened my eyes, the
The first thing I saw was that fluorescent lamp in the
I was given a new gown and put on the ceiling. The doctor
He said he appeared to have a concussion and that
I needed a more thorough check-up. I was transferred to
A room for six patients. I felt exhausted.
I always felt exhausted when I recovered.
awareness.
JiMin
May 11, Year 22
I was transferred to the operating room.
about two weeks ago. At first, I
It seemed strange to see people coming and going freely.
I soon discovered it was just another part of the hospital.
There were patients, nurses, and doctors. They gave me
Drugs and injections. In general, it was almost the same as
the psychiatric ward. The only difference was that the ward
It had a longer hallway with a lounge halfway along it.
Of course, there was a more important difference. I
They allowed people to wander freely around the room. Because of the
That night, I snuck out of my room and wandered around.
I jumped and danced in the hall and ran down the first-floor hallway.
floor at full speed, they were simple joys that didn't
were allowed in the psychiatric ward.
One day, I discovered something strange about myself.
while running down the hallway. Sometime later
From the kitchen and the emergency staircase, my body
It stopped completely for no reason. It still had
About five more steps to reach the end, but I stopped.
And I couldn't take another step. At the end of the corridor there was a
The door, open to the outside world. Outside the hospital.
The gate had no "boundary" sign, and nobody came running.
I tried to stop. But I simply couldn't go any further.
I soon discovered why that was the stretch of the corridor to
Just like the psychiatric ward. As if a drawing were being made.
line on the ground, I stopped exactly at that point,where the corridor of the psychiatric ward would have
finished.
They called me a good boy in the psychiatric ward.
I sometimes had seizures, but mostly I was
Obedient. He smiled and continued lying without anyone noticing.
I noticed. And I knew my limit. The hallway of the living room
Psychiatry could have been covered in just 24 strides.
I was 8 years old when I was first hospitalized.
I cried and demanded to go home to Mom, clinging to her.
Iron door at the end of that corridor. I tried to leave
frantically until the nurses arrived
I was running and they gave me an injection. For a while, the
The nurses tensed up every time she entered the corridor.
Now, nobody paid any attention to me, even if I was running through the
I walked down the hallway and reached the door. I already knew that the door...
It was closed anyway. I just kept running.
towards the door and back again. I no longer begged them.
She didn't even cry when they opened the door.
But the world is full of people more idiotic than me.
They held and shook the door endlessly. They were
suppressed by the staff, they were given injections, and the
They were tied to their beds. If they had behaved
Better yet, their lives could have been much more comfortable.
Those idiots didn't know any better. I wasn't like that back then.
In the beginning, he also did senseless things because of the
I was given sedatives forcibly injected by the nurses.
trapped trying to escape from the hospital in the early hours
days. I called my mom several times, crying with her.
enough violence to make me hoarse.
I'm not sick. I'm fine now. “Please come and
"Take me home." I stayed up all night
for several days, but Mom didn't come when I...
They took me to the hospital after they found me.
unconscious in the Grass Flower Arboretum, my parents
They didn't ask any questions. They ignored him.
The fact that I had fainted there. It's the same thing.
When I developed seizures, I was hospitalized, I
They discharged me after a while and transferred me to
another school. Family reputation was important to
They. A child with a mental illness was unacceptable.
I didn't become a good boy overnight.
There was no dramatic event or memorable incident.
I simply continued to give up little by little, just like
that grows like a fingernail.
I stopped crying and wishing I could go outside.
At one point, I stopped running towards the door because
the hallway. I attended school between stays at the
hospital, but he knew he would be sent back with the
Time. It felt refreshing to look up at the sky and
to enjoy the fragrance of each season. But I tried
I didn't want to commit it to memory. They would soon be snatched away.
From me in any way, Friends too. A story
Having a mental illness wasn't helpful for making friends.
There was one exception. I met a group that felt
as true friends. It was almost two years ago. I tried
I didn't remember them, but I couldn't help but recall those days.
I had to separate from them after I had a
Attack at the school bus stop. The latest
The scene I remembered was the window of the bus arriving at the Grass Flower Arboretum. It was then that
I fainted.
When I opened my eyes, I was in a hospital. Mom
She was on the corner talking on her phone. My mind
He spun around for a moment. He didn't know where he was or
How did I get there? I looked around and discovered windows.
with metal bars. Then, everything came back to me. The sky
blue that I saw on my way home, the silly games that
We used to play at the bus stop, the bus that went there...
Arboleda approaching, and the gazes through the
bus window.
I closed my eyes, but it was too late. The door
The main tree of the Grove appeared before my eyes. It was a
School picnic day in first grade. I was
running through heavy rain with my backpack
Above my head. A warehouse came into view.
The door was open, I went in. The smell was sticky and musty.
the sound of my heavy breathing, and the metallic squeal.
I sat up in bed and screamed, "No! I don't remember!"
"I forgot!" Mom came running, calling for someone.
I shook my head violently. I spun my arms around.
every way to get rid of that smell, that feel,
Sound and sight. But memories flooded me. The
dam that held the memories of the last ten
Years later it collapsed and all the details of that day emerged
through my mind, eyes, cells, and nails as if
I was having another attack. I had a seizure and they gave me...
An injection. The drug flowed through my blood vessels.
blood vessels, and I quickly fell asleep. I closed my eyes and wished it was all a dream, when I woke up again,
I couldn't remember anything.
That desire was just a desire. In contrast, a cycle of
injections, and injection-induced sleep that felt
like falling off a continuous cliff. After I
I woke up from that dream, my whole body felt as if
He was covered in mud. Mud that looked like blood. No
No matter how hard I tried to wash it, the smell of the
The warehouse persisted. I rubbed myself until I bled, but it still...
I felt dirty when the doctor asked me in a [unclear/informal] tone.
worried.
I trembled and apologized at first. Repeatedly
I said I was sorry. It was all my fault. Please
Let me forget all that. So, I tried to pretend
that nothing had happened. I didn't know what was going on.
I was talking. I didn't remember anything. So I looked at the doctor and
I smiled. "I don't remember anything." Did the doctor really...
Did he believe? I wasn't sure, but the important thing was that I...
I became a good boy. My life in the hospital was
peaceful. It was an ideal place to rest, my time
Far away. I didn't yearn for anything and I wasn't dismayed.
scared or lonely. That's how it was, until last night. Before
to see HoSeok again.
I was transferred to the operating room because I struggled with
The idiot who kept trying to reach the door at the end
from the hallway despite the nurses' restriction, The
Two of us were injured and were placed in two [units/positions].
different rooms on the fifth floor of the living room
surgery. They put me in a room for six people.
My bed was in the middle, and the patients were on both sides.
sides changed frequently.
I woke up in the middle of the night, the patient to my
He seemed to be having a nightmare and continued
moaning. The moan came from the bed to my left. I
I put the blanket over my head. I was sick and tired.
From the nightmares, I didn't need to hear this. I tried to
She endured it for a while, but her nightmare continued and
He continued. Finally, I got up and went over to his bed.
I patted his shoulder and tried to help. "It's okay. It's just..."
a dream."
I learned that morning that the patient was HoSeok.
I drew the curtains for my breakfast, and HoSeok was...
He was sitting on the bed next to mine. He seemed happy to be
Seeing me again. Was I happy too? Probably.
in a corner of my mind. He spent time with me and I
He looked after a transferred employee who was a complete stranger.
at school. He also took the long way home.
with me after school, I still remember those days
where I used to walk home with ice cream popsicles
our hands. But he also saw my attack in the
bus stop before I came here. He was
who brought me to this hospital. He must have run into...
Mom. I didn't want to explain my situation to her.
I left the room with the food untouched. HoSeok
He seemed to be following me, but he knew every corner of this place.
hospital. He couldn't catch me. I wandered around the hospital.
All day. From the stairs I saw the others, even
Jungkook, when they came to see Hoseok. They hadn'tThings have changed a lot. I spent the whole afternoon going up and down the stairs.
and I was hanging around on the other floors. I
I leaned against the window at the end of the hallway and counted the
passing cars.
I got really angry. He had skipped all my...
meals, and there was nowhere to sit and relax.
comfortably. It was annoying for me to hear the
I heard laughter coming from my room. I got even angrier.
because I couldn't understand why he was so angry. I went
back to my bed late at night. "Where have you been?"
"State?" he asked casually, then he gave me a
piece of bread, it must have been because I was
dying of hunger.
The bread was warm and delicious, I couldn't resist.
confess to him. He had been secluded for a long time.
in the psychiatric ward. That I had been transmitted
briefly to the operating room, but would be sent from
Come back soon. That they wouldn't discharge me in the future.
close, that is, as he witnessed, I was a person
who had attacks in the street. That I was a patient who
It could be dangerous. I didn't want to add the last part.
But I thought it would stop him from criticizing me.
He paused for a minute. Then he took my bread.
"Jimin, don't exaggerate. Don't you know I have narcolepsy?"
I could faint at any moment or in any situation.
place. I'm dangerous, too?" He took a bite of my
Bread. I stood motionless, not knowing what to say. Then he
He said, "What? You want this back?" He bit
He gave me the bread again and handed it back. I took it back.Immediately. He asked me again, "The
Are seizures infectious? Narcolepsy is not.
Don't worry." He hadn't changed one bit.
Hoseok
May 12, Year 22
I opened the emergency exit and ran downstairs.
My heart was hammering in my chest.
I definitely saw Mom in the hallway. As soon as
As I looked back, the elevator door opened and
A crowd of people came out, Mom disappeared from my sight.
I desperately pushed through the crowd and saw her.
I followed her past the emergency exit.
I ran to the emergency stairs and up the stairs.
Two by two. I went down without stopping.
"Mom!" Mom stopped. I took a quicker step.
She had turned around. Another step downstairs, her face...
Mom gradually became visible. Then, my foot
I slipped and my body lurched forward. I flailed my arms.
arms to maintain my balance, but it was already
Too late. I closed my eyes tightly, afraid of
falling down the stairs. At that moment, someone grabbed
My arm from behind, I narrowly avoided falling headfirst.
The stairs. When I turned my head, Jimin was standing there.
There, looking startled, I quickly glanced towards
Go ahead again, too rushed to thank him.
I saw a woman; she seemed perplexed. There was a boy.
Beside her, the woman continued blinking her large eyes.
Eyes, she wasn't a mother. She stepped back with the child.
Hidden behind his back, he was alone on the stairs
Without saying a word, looking at her face.
I couldn't remember what I said then to get out of it.
In that situation, I should have murmured that I was sorry or that
I thought she was someone else, now that I think about it, not even
I didn't even ask Jimin why he was there. My head
It was a disaster and I couldn't process any of it.
Details, she wasn't a mother, maybe I knew it before.
start pursuing her. More than ten years have passed.
from the day they left me alone in the park
attractions, she must have aged and would look
different from what I remembered, even if I were to go back to it.
Finding her wouldn't be easy; her face was almost...
completely erased from my memory.
I looked behind me, Jimin was right behind me.
Without saying a word, he said that he had stayed in this place.
hospital since high school, since the last time
I saw her in the emergency room. When I asked her if
He wanted to leave, but he just stayed behind, confused. Maybe
Jimin was also lost within a network of
Memories like mine, I took a step towards him. "Jimin, let's go
from here."
JiMin
May 15, Year 22
Three days passed after HoSeok was released.
Upon my discharge from the hospital, I didn't want to say goodbye, so
Secretly, while I was hiding, I followed HoSeok.
I walked down the long hallway towards the door, he passed by
casually the line near the exit of
emergency, where they always come to arrest us, it
I looked behind me. Without realizing it, I stopped there.
I could take at least five more steps, but I
I stood there. HoSeok stretched slowly and pushed
gently opening the door, the dazzling light of
Sunlight streamed in through the open door, along with the fresh air.
Outside. It smelled a little spicy, but felt refreshing.
At the same time. The landscape on the other side enveloped me.
When HoSeok stepped through the door, it began to close.
I could slip through it if I ran now, I looked
Towards the ground, the boundary line, which was not visible to
No one but me was still there.
I turned around, or rather, I was about to turn around.
When someone walked by, pushing my shoulder hard,
I fell forward onto the ground, lifted my head, still
Lying on the ground, I had crossed the line, the idiot.
He was running beside me, heading for the door; he was
The one who had pushed me continued pushing others.
On his way, he paid no attention to them, when
He pushed the door as hard as he could, the sunlight
He went back inside. He ran outside and a nurse caught him.
But he was faster; the door began to close.New. I stood up, took a step beyond the line,
There are only three steps left to reach the door, but I went back
I turn around, aware of my limit.
A stranger was already occupying HoSeok's bed. I'm closing this.
My eyes, but I couldn't sleep. I couldn't help but stop.
to think about what he said before being discharged. "Jimin,
Let's get out of here.” He had a complicated expression that
I had never seen it before. I had never seen it before or
Heard that way, he was standing there looking
hesitant, unsure how to respond. There was one or more
reasons why I couldn't stop thinking about them
words. There was an incident just before it happened.
that.
I was waiting for the elevator on the second floor.
where I had physiotherapy, because I tripped while
I was fighting with the idiot, and my wrist was injured and I couldn't...
It was healing well, I was getting impatient as it
HoSeok's discharge was approaching, but the elevator was
Stuck on the ninth floor. I thought I heard someone say
He called me just when I was thinking of taking the
stairs. That someone was standing in front of the exit of
Emergency at the end of the hall. I couldn't make out who.
It was with the sunlight that came in through the window. When
I took a step forward, and the person suddenly ran down the street.
emergency exit, his profile came into view
momentarily, but I still couldn't recognize
Who was it? Who could it be? I walked towards the staircase of
emergency, feeling strange.
When I opened the emergency exit door and put
The head, someone passed quickly, instinctively,
I threw my head back, we almost collided. "Mom!"
Hearing the desperate cry, I put my head back in; it was
HoSeok, jumping frantically up and down the stairs, and
There was a woman standing at the foot of the stairs. What's going on?
This? I stopped dead in my tracks; HoSeok lost his balance.
At that precise moment, I lunged forward and extended
My hands moved without thinking and I caught him. HoSeok hesitated while
He braked abruptly; I barely managed to maintain control.
balance, he didn't say anything until we went back up by
He went up the stairs and into the fifth-floor hallway.
She remained silent as we headed towards the
hospital room. Then, suddenly, he stopped and...
He looked at me, "Jimin, let's get out of here," I couldn't answer, I...
He said it firmly. "I'll come back for you." I replied: "I'm going to
return to the psychiatric ward in a few days.
Three days passed. I had to go back to the psychiatric ward.
The next day, I tidied up my belongings and went to bed.
I stretched and turned for a while, but soon I lay down.
While asleep, I woke up with the sensation of something falling.
The hospital was a strange place, and it was difficult to sleep.
Deeply, I could feel everything around me with
With my eyes closed, even the smallest sounds...
They kept him awake; the hospital room was
It was completely dark. A breeze came in through the window.
With the curtains open, they fluttered in the airflow.
Suffocating: the ceiling, the floor, the darkness, and the silence.
They were all family members.
I was about to turn on the bedside lamp.
When a hand stopped me, it was HoSeok, I sat down
He was surprised and put his index finger to my lips.
"We all came together," he said, adding that they were...
Waiting outside. He held out his hand.
I was still buried under so many fears, I went
invisible to my parents, to be seen as nothing more than
a fugitive from a psychiatric ward in the world
Outside, it was safer to simply stay inside.
hospital as an obedient patient. I wasn't sure.
I thought I'd adapt well there; I could think of a
A million reasons not to leave.
HoSeok didn't hesitate, he grabbed my hand, helped me to my feet, and
He handed me a t-shirt; I was out of bed before.
When I realized it, the hallway was calm and quiet.
Some nurses were at their desks, all of them
They were so busy with their own jobs that they didn't even
They looked at us, but HoSeok and I walked as far as we could.
as quietly as possible, he tensed up, the elevator was
Waiting on the fifth floor, when the door opened, and
Seokjin was standing inside, we went down to the first floor and
We went out into the hallway when HoSeok pushed me.
abruptly towards a door on the left; it was a living room.
It was usually full of patients and caregivers.
During the day it was quiet, but at night it was calm and dark.
with only the murky lights of the streetlamps flowing towards
Inside, a candle lit up and Jungkook and
Taehyung emerged from the darkness. Yoongi's face
It was also visible behind that moment, on the table.
There were snacks and cans of soft drinks.
A nurse entered through the back door just
When I took a sip of the soda, before I finished...
After greeting them, the nurse asked what we were doing.
doing here, and YoonGi said it was a party
birthday, she entered the room, are they all ours?
Patients? I don't think so, I was the only one who had one.
Without realizing it, I put on my patient's gown and squeezed my hand.
Around the soda can, the aluminum can was
wrinkled with a mysterious sound. HoSeok grabbed me
from the shoulder. "Okay." It was Namjoon. "When I give the
"Signal, just start running." It must have been Jungkook.
Seokjin, who was already at the main door, told us
He glanced around and went outside, HoSeok looked at
We looked around and spat under our breath. "Run, Jimin,"
We all started running, I was trapped by the
I was so excited and ran with them. Taehyung lost his balance.
and it almost fell, and the snacks and plastic bottles
The refreshments flew into the air, we nimbly launched ourselves into
through the tables in the first-floor hallway, the
Loud voices and the nurses' footsteps followed.
pursuing us, the corridor stretched out before us like
as he did yesterday.
My heart was pounding as I passed the kitchen.
and I reached the emergency stairs without realizing it.
My pace slowed down and my head was bombarded with
Questions arise: Would I really do it? Is it okay? Am I...
Are you sure? It could be even harder to be out there, maybe.
It would be safer for me not to have someone on my side, and
It's more comfortable in here; it's not too late, it will be
I'd better stop here, I'd better admit my limitations, I'd better be a good boy, my limit is only...
a few steps away.
The janitors had banded together and were chasing after him.
To the others, my hand that was holding the shirt was trembling.
They seemed to be violently behind me. Perhaps
I didn't have a chance. "Okay, Park Jimin, run!" That
A voice pushed me forward, I took another step and crossed
On the line, she had only taken one step closer to the
door, but a dramatic change occurred, something inside
It rolled over and launched itself as if it had just jumped from a
cliff to another, while throwing off my patient gown and
I put on my shirt, took another step towards the door, the
The next step was faster, and the one after that even faster.
Quickly, the walls on both sides passed by rapidly.
and the door strode closer, only a few remained
Five steps to get from the line to the door.
Anyone else would have been just a short distance away, but
I hadn't dared to go this far before; this was the first time.
Each time I crossed the line on my own, the door was open.
my reach.
Once I passed through this door, the surroundings were
completely different from the one I had surrounded myself with.
I refused to think about what would happen next. I will focus on
Take one step at a time. I pushed the door with all my might.
With every force, every cell in my body collided with the air.
Outside, there was neither an oppressive sun nor a fierce wind.
Like the one I had always imagined, I felt like
As I cried, the sound of my heart pounded in all directions.
JiMin
May 16, Year 22
HoSeok's house was on the hillside; it was a
rooftop room of a multi-family building in
Poor condition at the end of a dead-end alley. The alley
It was across a narrow, winding pass far from the
Main street and up a long, steep hill, there it was
where he lived, when we entered the room, HoSeok
He boasted that he was on the highest floor in the city,
With the rest of the world at his feet, he was in the
That's right, that rooftop room had a view of
When I looked straight ahead, I could see the train station.
and the containers standing in a row along the
railway. Namjoon was living on one of those
containers, just a little further on was the school
where we had attended together.
As I looked at our school, my line of sight
It reached a point on the other side of the river, a large complex
The apartment complex stretched down to the foot of the mountain. That's where it was.
Where my house was, no, it's where the house of
My parents, I escaped from the hospital without any plan, the
The hospital must have contacted my parents, and they
They must be looking for me by now. I haven't had the courage.
I couldn't go to meet them face to face yet.
Home, I had nowhere to go and no money. HoSeok me
He told me to follow him and he brought me here, that's how I ended up here.
at home.
I looked at the apartment complex again; I would have
I'd have to go back there someday. I'd have to meet up with him.I inhaled
deeply, and HoSeok came closer and stood beside me.
Hoseok
May 16, Year 22
I could be my most honest self at home; sometimes I would shout.
She would sing at the top of her lungs and out the window, sometimes she would put on
I would dance to the music like crazy. And sometimes I would wake up because…
I would cry at night, and when I did, I would lie down.
staring at the ceiling, but I never broke down because of it.
narcolepsy at home.
Jimin did not return home after leaving the
hospital. He came to my house and was now looking towards
down to the city, leaning on the railing of the
rooftop, he must be looking for our school, the
Two Star Burger restaurant, and the change of lights to
along the railway. Like me, he must also be
Looking for their home, that was something in our instinct.
Humans, everyone looks for their home when they climb something.
high or extended place on a large map.
I thought about asking him why he didn't go home, but
I gave up; her head must be a mess, and I didn't want to.
make it worse. Furthermore, I could guess why, based on
How Jimin's mom reacted in the living room
emergencies that day, in fact, I rarely asked questions
My friends, I felt like I knew the answers to most of them.
them and didn't want them to feel uncomfortable, or they might
find my questions too probing and
annoying.
To be honest, I was always curious to know
where the others were, where they were going when they walked through the store, but I never ran out to
Ask them. Where was Jungkook going with his injuries?
Was YoonGi's office in that room?
Address? Why did Namjoon drop out of school? Where?
Did Taehyung learn to do graffiti for the first time?
Now that I think about it, I didn't know much about the others.
"Did you find it?" I moved closer to Jimin and asked him,
"Find what?" Jimin sounded confused. "Your house."
Jimin nodded, "I grew up in the orphanage right there," I pointed out.
a place beyond the railway. "Do you see the supermarket?"
towards the river from the gas station where
Did Namjoon work? Do you see the neon sign shaped like...
Clover behind him? The orphanage is to the left of that.
"Neon sign, I lived there for over ten years."
Jimin's eyes seemed to wonder why he was...
Knowing all this, my friends already knew that I grew up in
I considered it my home, an orphanage; I didn't force myself.
I even thought that for peace of mind, I really believed
which was my house, a home without a mother.
"I have something to confess," something I had been...
lying. "My narcolepsy is fake," that could have
It was because I couldn't ask anyone anything, it wasn't
Because I was afraid of hurting them, it was because I lied.
because I didn't have the courage to be honest, because once
If he admitted it, he would also have to admit that he didn't.
I have no one to call "Mom", not only in the
not only in orphanages but all over the world, that's why I didn't ask them
none of them about their problems.
Jimin wasn't good at hiding his feelings, his
Her surprised look was self-explanatory; she didn't know how.
I apologized to him. Jimin had been agonizing over me.
Countless times, he must have burst into tears when
I saw it for the first time. “I didn’t do it on purpose, I must have…”
Ignoring that there was a path to being okay, I know this
It doesn't make sense, I can't describe it.
"Hey, are you okay now?" Jimin, who had been
After listening quietly for some time, he turned his
I turn my head towards myself and wonder, am I okay now?
I asked myself. Jimin was still looking at me,
He neither criticized nor sympathized with me; I lowered my gaze towards
The illuminated city below. "Well, I don't know, we'll be able to..."
You'll figure it out as time goes on. You're looking forward to it.
"Let it happen, right?" Jimin laughed, and I laughed too.
JiMin
May 19, Year 22
I had to go back to the Grass Flower Arboretum; I had
to stop lying about not remembering what had happened
Having seen it there, it was time to stop hiding in the hospital.
and to put an end to my seizures, to do that, I had to
I went back there, but for days I went to the bus stop and didn't get on.
to the bus.
After seeing that the third bus of the day was leaving
There, YoonGi suddenly appeared and collapsed next to me.
He said he went out because there was nothing to do and he was
Bored. Then he asked me what I was doing there.
I kept my head tilted and kicked the ground with the tip of my toe.
from my shoe. I was sitting there because I didn't have the courage.
She wanted to pretend that she was okay now, that she knew and that she could
I could have overcome this easily. But I was afraid. I was afraid.
I didn't know what I was facing, or if I would be able to endure it.
and if I would be a confident person again.
Yoongi seemed relaxed. Relaxed, he murmured something.
which sounded like "the weather is very nice" in a way
worry-free. The weather was truly
pleasant. But I was so tense that I couldn't allow myself
look around, let alone enjoy the weather, the
The sky was blue, a gentle breeze blew occasionally.
The shuttle bus was approaching from a distance.
He stopped and the door opened; the driver looked at me and...
I asked YoonGi, "Would you come with me?"
HoSeok
May 20, Year 22
I left the police station with Taehyung.
“Thank you.” I bowed and shouted with more energy,
But I really wasn't in the mood. Taehyung's house
It wasn't that far from the police station. If he lived...
If he went any further, would he still keep going? Why would his parents
Did they settle so close to the police station?
The world was so unfair and abusive to this foolish child and
sensitive. I put my arm around her shoulders.
Taehyung, and I casually asked him if he was hungry. He
He shook his head. "Did the police officer greet you and invite you to..."
"To eat?" I asked him again, but he didn't answer.
We both walked in the sunlight, but a wind
The ice cream seemed to cut my heart. I couldn't imagine...
How must he have been feeling when he felt this cold?
inside. Her heart must have felt broken and
Torn apart, or did he have a heart left? How much anguish?
Had she endured it? She couldn't look him in the eyes, so
I looked up. An airplane was flying towards the
The sky was somewhat cloudy. The first time I saw the scar on the
Taehyung's back in Namjoon's container. No
I was able to ask him, when he was smiling so broadly with
your new gift t-shirt.
I had no parents. I had no memory of my father, and
Any memory of Mom stopped when she was 7 years old.
He probably had more open wounds and scars with
regarding family and childhood that nobody.
People always said so easily that
We need to overcome our wounds, embrace them, and
Accept them as part of our lives. That we need
reconciling with others and forgiving them in order to move forward
living. It wasn't that I wasn't aware of it. No
It was that I didn't want to try. But trying wasn't enough.
It guaranteed success. Nobody had taught me how.
The world gave us new wounds even before the
Old women could heal. Surely, no one in the world
You can avoid getting hurt. I was aware of that.
But do we really need to get hurt so badly?
Deeply? For what purpose? Why are these...
Things happen to us?
"I'm fine. I can go alone," Taehyung said in the
intersection. "I know." I know the way. "I'm fine."
Look. I'm fine." Taehyung smiled. I didn't reply, no
It could be okay. But once he admitted that he wasn't
It was fine, I couldn't stand it. So I simply
He was ignoring the truth. That became his habit.
Taehyung followed me, lifting his hood.
"Are you really not hungry?" I asked him when
We had walked to the outside corridor that led
to her house. That silly smile appeared and she nodded. I stayed
I waited a while and saw him walk towards the door and finally...