[BL] I don't need a female lead

57. Past - Only you forever

*This episode also unfolds from Seong-un's perspective.

김재환

[What if I say no?]

김재환

[Will I become a slave like this child?]

The child still glared at us, wrapping Woong tightly around him as if protecting him. Everyone looked at me and Jaehwan with embarrassed expressions.

A heavy silence fell for a moment, and Jaehwan broke it.

김재환

[Well, it seems like I have no choice]

김재환

[Please guide me]

김재환

[Isn't that your mission?]

하성운

[Right]

I got up, took off the cloak that was covering me, and covered Jaehwan.

김재환

[What are you doing?]

하성운

[If you stay like that now, you'll catch a cold]

하성운

[You must not catch a cold]

김재환

[.......cheap]

하성운

[under?]

하성운

[I did you a favor, but you're being rude?]

김재환

[I'm glad you're not my escort]

하성운

[Why do you think so?]

김재환

[Well, I came as a delegation]

In a fit of anger, I uttered words that would change my life forever. I had been screaming so loudly that I hated it, but then I lost my temper and uttered words I couldn't control.

하성운

[I'll do the escort too]

김재환

[under?]

Jaehwan's mouth twitched for a moment, as if he had something to say. But he soon seemed to give up and simply followed my words.

김재환

[Okay, guide me]

I looked out the window and said to Jaehwan who was staring at me.

하성운

[......why?]

김재환

[How old are you?]

하성운

[There's a 2 year age difference between us]

김재환

[Huh? Do you know my age?]

하성운

[You should know that much]

김재환

[How much do you know about me?]

하성운

[Name, Age]

김재환

[Then I want to know your name too]

하성운

[Have you forgotten that I am two years older than you?]

김재환

[huh]

하성운

[under........]

김재환

[Then please call me hyung?]

하성운

[Did you plan on calling me 'yarang'?]

김재환

[huh]

I couldn't help but chuckle at his confidence. Jaehwan, seeing that, smiled broadly and spoke to me.

김재환

[You look pretty when you smile]

하성운

[Do I look like I'm laughing?]

김재환

[no]

하성운

[under.......]

하성운

[Ha Sung-woon]

김재환

[huh?]

하성운

[My name is]

김재환

[Hassiya?]

하성운

[If it's Ha Sung-woon, it's Ha, you idiot]

김재환

[So that's why you sigh so much?]

하성운

[You... want to pick a fight?]

김재환

[Stop sighing]

김재환

[I'll just stay in my room, so you don't have to... escort me]

Jaehwan stroked the head of Woong, who was fast asleep on his lap with a deadpan expression.

하성운

[........I won't rest, sigh]

김재환

[Huh? Really?]

At my words, Jaehwan smiled brightly and took my hand.

김재환

[If you sigh, you age quickly!]

하성운

[who?]

김재환

[I]

하성운

[.........]

김재환

[Is this true?]

하성운

[okay......]

I thought she was still young, and that she came in place of her younger sibling, but I wondered if she was being pushed around by her parents. But even so... should she send her eldest child away?

하성운

[Here... come]

하성운

[Do you know why I came?]

김재환

[You didn't come here as a hostage, did you?]

하성운

[I know, I know]

하성운

[So you know that originally it wasn't you, but the Third Prince?]

김재환

[huh]

김재환

[know]

하성운

[But why did you come?]

김재환

[Well....]

김재환

[To protect my precious things]

Jaehwan smiled bitterly at me. I knew the meaning of that smile all too well. It was the last smile my mother ever gave me, to protect me. And I decided to make the person who gave me that smile my master.

I handed the sword to Jaehwan and bowed my head slightly as I spoke.

하성운

[I will make you my lord]

하성운

[I will dedicate my body and soul solely to my lord]

김재환

[why....?]

김재환

[You know... I might die...]

하성운

[That's why I swear an oath as a knight to protect]

Jaehwan thought for a moment, then said as he received the sword.

김재환

[If I die, become this child's master]

하성운

[I don't like it]

김재환

[This Ain will definitely become the lord you desire]

하성운

[There must be other younger siblings, so why this one...]

김재환

[Those kids have a side]

김재환

[This kid doesn't have it]

하성운

[Are you a contractor?]

김재환

[huh]

김재환

[I signed a contract with Irene]

하성운

[Irene.....]

When I heard that name, I froze in place.

Well, Irene was the one called the mother of the gods.

Jaehwan pointed to the sea and said to me, who was frozen in surprise.

김재환

[Look over there!]

김재환

[Isn't it pretty?]

The sea beyond the window next to Jaehwan was truly beautiful. Unforgettable. But what I still can't forget is not the sea, but the image of you back then.

The breeze streaming through the slightly open window made you even more mysterious, and the sunlight made you shine even brighter. Seeing your dazzling beauty, I found myself completely captivated by you.

Was it from then on? No one else but you entered my siege, and my gaze moved busily, searching for you wherever I went. And now that you were gone, I began to cry and cry, searching for memories of you.

하성운

[Pretty... very]

김재환

[Right? Let's definitely go together later!]

하성운

[Yeah. I'll definitely go with you. Then you introduce me to this place.]

김재환

[huh!]

After that day, I had a foolish, unrequited love for ten years. Of course, it's only now that I think about it. But somehow, it felt like I'd been in a relationship for ten years, not just in unrequited love for ten years.

하성운

[after.....]

김재환

[What's with the sigh?]

Jaehwan hugged me and said while rubbing his face in my arms.

김재환

[Do you have any concerns?]

하성운

[I have something to say... Jaehwan]

김재환

[Hmm? Suddenly while drinking wine?]

Seriously, I couldn't have survived that situation without the help of alcohol. To be honest, Jaehwan and I drank that wine to commemorate Woong's return to his hometown. That was a contrived lie I made up. I drank the full glass of wine and said,

하성운

[Let's get married. No, what am I saying! Jaehwan, will you date me? No, do you like me? No, that's not it, do you love me?]

When Jaehwan saw me in a daze, his face turned red and he started laughing while holding his stomach.

김재환

[Sigh... Why are you telling me this now, you idiot?]

하성운

[Well... you might hate me... no, that's not it! Did you know I liked you?]

김재환

[Yeah! Not since the first day I saw you?]

하성운

[Ugh....]

Jaehwan smiled at me and gently placed his lips on mine.

김재환

[Let's date. Oh, of course, right now, it seems like we're no different from lovers.... I'll show a little more affection....]

I bit my lip, just like Jaehwan had done earlier. No, even more so. I swallowed his words. Only when Jaehwan whimpered, as if out of breath, and pounded my chest did I come to my senses and slowly part our lips.

하성운

[S..you didn't like it?]

김재환

[It's not that I hate it... No, I liked it... Why are you so good at it?? Huh???]

하성운

[Well? Maybe we'll find out if we try it again?]

김재환

[Oh really!!]

But then I chuckled at Jaehwan, who hadn't said anything against it. Then Jaehwan pushed me onto the bed and said,

김재환

[I'm taller than you, so wasn't it uncomfortable when we kissed?]

하성운

[Hey! Kim Jaehwan!! You're serious!]

김재환

[Why? It'll be easier if we do it this way.]

김재환

[How is it? What does my face look like when I look at it from the bed?]

I wrapped my arms around Jaehwan's waist and spun him around so that I was looking down at him and he was looking up at me.

하성운

[Should I do it this way so I can be more comfortable?]

김재환

[Ah... Really!]

I kissed Jaehwan's cheek and furrowed the corners of my eyes in a playful manner. The corners of my mouth were a bonus, as if I was teasing him.

하성운

[So what did your man's face look like when you saw him on the bed?]

김재환

[I'm so excited]

We slowly approached each other, as if we'd planned it, and held each other's gaze until our lips were almost touching. Only when we felt a tingling sensation in our mouths did we close our eyes and have some alone time.

We spent a month like that, staying in our room together, just the two of us. Being with someone I loved made time fly by like crazy.

하성운

[Jaehwan]

김재환

[huh?]

I kissed Jaehwan's forehead while he was held tightly in my arms and said

하성운

[Shall we go to the beach?]

김재환

[ocean?]

하성운

[You asked me out on a date 10 years ago. We should go on a date.]

Jaehwan asked me while holding my hand and fidgeting.

김재환

[So this is our first date?]

하성운

[Yeah! It's our first date. How about going to the beach?]

김재환

[very good]

Just as I was making plans to go out and play, the door suddenly broke open and the knights came in.

하성운

[What are you guys doing now?]

As one of the knights nodded, the other knights came over to us and quickly took Jaehwan away.

하성운

[What the heck is going on now?]

Jaehwan was dragged away with a puzzled expression. The knights rushed to rescue him, but it was impossible to defeat the ten or so knights.

하성운

[Kim Jae-hwan!! Kim Jae-hwan!!!]

Jaehwan smiled and said it was okay, and that smile was his last smile.

It's called treason. Bringing Woong back to Woong's hometown.

It's a reverse plan. Jaehwan and I are planning to go on a date to the beach.

The image I remember of Jaehwan was of him with his eyes wide open, cold and with no visible signs of illness. I closed his eyes and gently kissed him.

It was cold as expected.

If I had known that would be the last time, I would have told you that I loved you... I should have told you that I loved you every single day from the moment I first saw you until now... No, a little sooner

하성운

.....

Seong-un hesitated and turned around to go to the sea, but was about to turn back when he met Dong-hyeon and Woong.

하성운

ah....

김동현

Let's go to the beach, brother