When I was still 7…
“Chanwooya…Chanwooya!”
“Ahh waaeee”
“Get up. You’ll be late for school.”
…Yunhyeong harabeoji would nag me every morning.
*harabeoji = grandfather
“I’m not going to school today.”
“What? Why?”
“Our teacher is sick.”
“How do you know that? You just woke up.”
“She told me. In my dream.”
Harabeoji would hit my arm.
“Get up already. Hurry!”
I liked playing games so much that I would sometimes make excuses not to go to school.
“Hurry. But don’t eat so fast.”
He would always have food prepared.
“That’s so confusing, harabeoji.”
He cooked really well.
“Please take care of my Chanwoo,” Yunhyeong harabeoji would always tell my teacher whenever he took me to school.
“Don’t worry, harabeoji. No one can hurt me. I have superpowers. I’m a superhero,” I would reassure him.
“Really? Then why don’t you use your powers to teleport here since you always wake up late?”
“I didn’t say my power is teleportation.”
We were polar opposites. We argued about every little thing.
I remember during my high school days, I once argued with him about which channel to watch. Well…we only had one tv so…
“Harabeoji, can I switch the channel to JCW? They’re airing LG’s match today.”
“I’m still watching JinStone Age, Chanwooya.”
“But I can’t miss it. They’re airing it live from the main venue. I don’t like watching replays of recent games when I can watch it live.”
“I also can’t miss this, Chanwooya. Look. He’s showing his secret in cooking lobsters. Ohhh so that’s how you do it.”
“Harabeoji, please. Just this once. I’ll look for that video of JinStone Age in Youtube and show it to you later.”
“This show doesn’t get uploaded on Youtube. Only his other show.”
“But I really have to LG’s match now. That show isn’t even fun.”
“What? JinStone Age isn’t fun? Well I guess it’s time you cook for yourself. Let’s see which channel is more educational and practical.”
“I just wanted to watch LG’s match. Why did it come to this?”
“As long as you’re in my house, as long as you eat what I cook, you’re not allowed to change the channel—“
“Woah the match is really intense this time. You can do it LG.”
“I’m never cooking for you again.”
But he still cooked my breakfast the next day. And my lunch, dinner. He still cooked for me everyday.
We quarreled a lot but my harabeoji loved me and I loved him too.
When I was still 4, me and my parents went to eat out.
“Happy birthday to you~ Happy birthday to you~ Our dear Chanwoo~ Happy birthday to you~,” my parents sang happily.
I made a wish and blew the candle. I still remember vividly the last smiles we shared.
“What did you wish for, Chanwooya?” my mother asked.
“I wished that you would buy me a game console soon.”
“Oh really? Wish granted!” my father gave me the gift I wanted.
That night, I should’ve wished for something different.
On our way home, our car paused before an intersection because of the red light. When the light turned green, our car started to cross the intersection but it never made it to the other side.
My memory of that moment is hazy. I only remember being dizzy and calling out to my parents.
“Eomma…Appa…” I called with the loudest voice I can at that moment even when my whole body was in pain.
“Eomma…Appa…It hurts so much…What happened?”
They weren’t responding.
“Mom… Dad…”
I called again and again but they didn’t even move an inch. They were completely motionless. They never responded.
When I woke up, I was in the hospital. My Yunhyeong harabeoji was there. He called the doctor to check me. After the doctor finished, I asked where my parents was.
“Doctor, my grandon’s awake!”
The doctor followed with some nurses came to check me.
“His vital signs are good. I think he’ll just have to stay here for a few days to recover and then he can go home.”
“Thank you so much! I was so worried,” harabeoji thanked them.
“My mom and dad. Where are they?”
They were silent. They looked at each other.
“Harabeoji, where’s mom and dad?”
“Chanwooya, you’ll see them after you get out of here. So you have to recover fast, okay?”
“Where are they?! I want to see them!”
Tears fell from his eyes. The doctor and the nurses looked away.
I rushed out of the room to find my parents. I saw my mother’s brother and my father’s sister in the waiting area, sitting with an urn each resting in their lap. I ran to them to ask.
“Where’s mom and dad? They wouldn’t tell me.”
“Jungseobah. Seyeonah,” harabeoji called. He already caught up with me.
“Please take me to mom and dad. Please!” I put my hands together and pleaded.
They also cried. I didn’t understand then.
“Chanwooya, I’m sorry,” Jungseob samchun said.
“What’s the matter? Why is everyone just crying? Why isn’t anyone answering me?”
Samchun wiped his tears.
“Chanwooya…you see…your mom and dad went to another place.”
“Where?”
“Somewhere really far.”
“Why didn’t they take me with them?”
“They couldn’t.”
“Why?”
“It’s for the best.”
“I don’t get what you’re saying, samchun.”
“I’m sorry.”
“When are they returning?”
“They’re not coming back.”
It took me time before I understood what death meant.
Harabeoji took me in. He has been there for me since then. Always. He woke me up every morning. He cooked for me. He took me to school. He attended family days for me. He apologized for being lacking at times. He cheered me up when I was down. He went with me to my parents’ grave during my birthdays, their birthdays, their death anniversaries, and whenever I just felt like going.
“Our Chanwoo grew up a lot. How I wish you were here to see. He’s grown to be really handsome like his father and really stubborn like his mother. He hasn’t learned how to cook yet tho. But don’t worry. I’ve been teaching him. Tho he doesn’t really pay attention.”
“Don’t worry, mom and dad. I’ll be really rich, I won’t have to cook at all.”
“You should learn how to cook then. You can’t survive anywhere if you can’t cook for yourself.”
“I can cook ramen tho. I’ll just eat that.”
“Aigoo look at your son. I should live long enough until he becomes rich enough.”
“Then I won’t become rich. You can’t die, harabeoji. You can’t leave me alone.”
I can only go through these memories as I wait outside the emergency room.
Earlier this afternoon, I got a call from one of our neighbors. She went to our house to share the food she cooked. She called by the gate many times but no one responded so she got worried. She entered by jumping through the wall (which is trespassing but okay I’m letting it go). That’s when she saw harabeoji lying unconscious inside our house. She called the ambulance and went with them since I was still in school that time. She contacted me to come to the hospital. She immediately left when I came because of some urgent business.
I don’t know what happened. I don’t know what to expect. He’s in the emergency room so it must be bad. I’ve only been there once and I don’t even remember. I can’t stop my hands from shaking. This could be what I have been so afraid of.
The doctor finally came out of the ER.
“Doctor, what happened to my harabeoji?”
“He’s okay now. He just sustained an injury in pelvic bone but he will recover so don’t worry about it.”
Phew. I wonder how he got hurt tho.
“Thank you so much, Doctor!”
I went to see harabeoji.
“Oh Chanwooya!”
“Harabeoji, what happened?”
“Ahh this? I was eating rice cakes when I choked on it so I went to get water from the fridge but I slipped on the junkfood wrappers in the kitchen. It was a loud thud, really. I wonder who left those wrappers scattered on the floor,” he looked at me suspiciously. He’s right. It was me.
“I’m sorry, harabeoji,” I apologized.
“Well, it’s okay. I’m okay now. You just have to be more careful next time with your trash. And will you please eat healthier foods? You should also exercise. You stay in your room a lot playing games. You might get sick.”
“What sickness?”
“You know…radiation…obesity…laziness…”
“Harabeoji, playing games helps you be alert, improves reaction time, and it’s a good way of spending your time without being in danger outside. At least you always know where to find me.”
“Aigoo it’s pointless to argue with you. Okay go on and play games. If that’s what you want.”
“I love you, harabeoji.”
“Aigoo now you’re talking cringy. I love you too.”
After a week, he finally got discharged. He then took me fishing.
“Chanwooya, you know what, fresh seafood is really tasty. Catching seafood from the sea and cooking it is the best.”
He’s really enjoying this. I wonder what level my friends are in the game we were playing recently.
I started whistling
Then I started singing.
Uriye sigani meomchun geo gata (Feels like our time has stopped)
Sesange yeongweonhan geon eopseotna (Doesn’t anything last in this world?)
Seweori jinado naui geudaega nareul gieokhalkka (Even after time, will you remember me?)
Aryeonhan heunjeok soge (With these faraway traces?)
Don’t forget about me
This is my harabeoji’s favorite song. He sang it to me a lot that I even got sick of it.
Harabeoji sang the next part.
Neowa nae punggyeongeun saegi baraejigo (Our landscape’s color has faded)
Jidokhage areumdaweossdeon kkumeseo kkaeeona (I’m waking up from a cruelly beautiful dream)
But now I understood what this song meant.
We sang the chorus together.
Neoui jeonburo chueokhal su eoptamyeon (If I can’t reminisce you as my everything)
Geujeo itji mothal jogageuro namgyeogwo (Just remain as a piece that can’t be forgotten)
Soksagideon yaksok jisaedeon bamdo da (Whispered promises all night)
Geu nal kkok gieokhaejugil (I hope you remember that day)
Itji mayo itji mayo geudae nal itji marayo (Don’t forget, don’t forget, my dear, don’t forget me)
Don’t forget us don’t forget me Everything about me
Harabeoji, you lived a long and tiring life, especially after you took me in. I will remember you for the rest of my life.
In our next life, let’s meet again as good friends. That way, I can take care of you and love you like you did.
NEXT LIFE:
“Same for this, crush them into pieces while thinking of Chanwoo. Jung Chanwoo Jung Chanwoo.”