unfinished short story

[1980] 2

"Grandma, I want to do a demonstration."

"Suddenly..? Where did you get the courage to do something like that that you said you couldn't do because you didn't have the guts to do it?"

".. My brother and Yeonbin are dead. They were killed by those damned bastards.. "

"Oh my, what should I do with this..."

"So, I'm going to give them the freedom and democracy they wanted so badly. What's that, what's that..."

"Children like that kind of freedom, that's why, well... we old people don't have much time left to live and just quietly leave, but children have a lot of time left to live. That's why they long for it even more. Sigh, Subin,
Don't get hurt either, take care of yourself and keep your tongue sharp."

"You too, Grandma, be careful. Don't get hurt. I only have you now... Anyway, I'll go. I have to get ready."

"Yeah, you know this grandma is strong. Go home quickly."


Choi Soo-bin stepped through the door of the small, old woman's supermarket. She couldn't even cry anymore. She dragged her limp, exhausted body home.
Choi Yeonjun and Choi Yeonbin were cremated. And I made two small pendants from their ashes. Because I felt like they would be trampled if they were buried here in Gwangju. And because if I were to die, I wanted to die with them.

Choi Soo-bin tidied up her clothes and prepared to go out for the demonstration tomorrow. It was the first reckless act she'd ever committed. It was dangerous, and it would cost her her life. So she wrote a letter. Filling each and every word with her heart, she penned a short letter to Choi Yeon-jun and Choi Yeon-bin, from whom she would never return.



To Choi Yeonjun and Choi Yeonbin.


Hey guys, long time no see. How's it going there? Are you feeling well? Have you met your mom and dad? I'm sure you have.
You know, I fought with you all the time, and now that I'm dead, I'm acting all affectionate towards you. Isn't that funny? It's creepy, isn't it? But I'll say what I have to say. I have a lot of regrets. Instead of sending you guys away because you're afraid of guns and swords, I should've gone to the demonstration too.
I should've been a little more affectionate towards you guys. Oh, by the way, did you see me cry? Honestly, you guys laughed at me. I didn't think I'd ever cry that much because of you, and I never thought I'd ever cry that much in my life.
Why did I have to cry in front of you all? I've become a laughingstock for the rest of my life. And, I'm going to protest too. I'll definitely make everything you've been wanting come true. Do you have to bow to me when you see me later? Because I'm going to pull out every last bit of courage I have and leave because of you.
Anyway, take care there. Don't get sick. Maybe I can go see you tomorrow... I really shouldn't say this, I hate to say it.

Yeonjun hyung and Yeonbin. I love you so much.

Oh, you're ogling. I'll cut it short here. Take care.

1980. 5. 21