You always hid behind Aunt Sunhye, and finally, the day you showed your face and waved to me was the day we met. I'll never forget that day."I'm Kim Taehyung. I'm a year older than you, I'm 11 years old."
"I'm 10 years old, Kim Yeoju!"
Aunt Sunhye was my mom's best friend since high school, and they've stayed in touch ever since. She used to live in another city, but she happened to get a job in Seoul, and the apartment she found was right next to ours. That's why, ever since I was in third grade, I ended up getting so entangled with Kim Taehyung every day.
"Here, eat this."
"Wow, how chivalrous Taehyung is!"
Kim Taehyung was very chivalrous and mature for his age. At 11 years old, instead of just thinking about what he wanted to do or eat, he always put me first. When we ate together, he would put the meat on my plate before serving himself, and when we went to play, he would always hold my hand and never let go. The adults constantly praised him for that. I liked that side of Kim Taehyung too. From then on, I secretly loved him. A love that lasted a long time.
"I like Taehyung-oppa."
But Kim Taehyung wasn't just chivalrous to me. There were many girls in our class who were also in love with him. If he was already so popular with the girls a year younger, I couldn't even imagine how many girls his own age liked him.
"Hey! Who do you think you are, going home with Taehyung every day?"
When we got to fourth grade, a year after I became friends with Taehyung, girls started showing up who were envious and jealous of me. Girls his age would come and bother me because I spent time with him. But deep down, it made me feel good. It was like being important to Taehyung made me special.
"Is it true that Unnie Harin confessed to you?"
"That super cute and popular unnie?"
"Yes, that's what they say."
"Pfft, what do girls like about you? I don't understand."
"Huh? Haha, Yeoju, I like you too, right?"
It was a feeling I never wanted Taehyung to discover. I was already special to him, but if he knew I liked him, would I be just like all the others? I didn't want to be another one on his list of admirers, so I pretended.
"Eh...?"
"Isn't it true that you like me?"
Perhaps it was impossible for him not to know. I always smiled like an idiot when I was with him. It was ridiculous to expect him not to notice. From the very beginning, Kim Taehyung knew everything. To him, I was no different from any other girl.
That reality was too much for my 11-year-old self. I wanted to be someone truly special to him.
"What are you saying? I don't like you!"
"You always act like you're so mature. You're a hypocrite."
After that, Taehyung stopped coming to my house, and I stopped going to his. When I told him that, his expression showed how hurt he was. But that bothered me too. Did he really think every girl in the world would be likeable? At least I didn't want to be predictable to him. That's how our relationship became distant.
"Congratulations on graduating."
"Thank you."
Time flew by, and I finally graduated from elementary school. When I saw Kim Taehyung in his junior high uniform at the graduation ceremony, he looked amazing. I was going to a junior high school quite far away, and my family had decided to move. After the ceremony, we had lunch together for the last time. We both knew we probably wouldn't see each other again.
"Live well there. Don't forget me."
"You too…"
"You didn't even call me oppa at the end. I haven't heard that from you since that day."
"Yes, it sounds cheesy."
"..."
There was an awkward silence. Perhaps it was the last time we would see each other, but I couldn't say anything.
"You never really hated me, did you?"
As I turned to leave, Taehyung asked me that. My heart sank. Did he still remember what I'd told him years ago?
I turned my head and answered him.
"No. I never hated you for a single moment."
Taehyung smiled bitterly. I still don't know what that smile meant to this day.
That's how we said goodbye.
We only heard news about each other through our parents,
But we never contacted each other or saw each other again.
Five years passed like this.
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.
"Damn! I'm super late!"
"They told me to arrive at 8 for the Teacher's Day party."
"That's why I told you not to fall asleep. Run!"
May 15th. The class representative had told us to arrive at 8:00 for a special event. The night before, I had set five alarms, but incredibly, I didn't hear any of them and overslept. I threw on the first thing I found—some sweatpants—and ran out the door.
"… ¿????"
I saw the face of a man that seemed familiar, but at the same time unknown.
Where had I seen him before? He looked so familiar…
"Hello, Yeoju. It's been a long time."
The moment I remembered, Kim Taehyung approached and greeted me with a smile.
Was it really him? Had he always been so tall?
I was still trying to confirm that it really was him when he spoke again.
"I missed you."
Only after hearing his voice again was I sure.
It was really Kim Taehyung.
That first and last love I thought I would never see again,
I found it completely unexpectedly,
in front of my house,
after five years.