That night, the light that swallowed me
In that short time, the room was empty.
‘If that’s what you want… Then I’ll see you later. I’ll be back.’
Noah's last words kept ringing in my ears.
“See you later?”
“See you later—?”
I muttered to myself.
Why does that bother me so much?
I pressed the bookshelf with my fingertips.
“…Well, either go or don’t go.”
Even when I closed my eyes, the images of their backs kept appearing in my mind.
The hem of Seo-ryeon's silk clothes, Noah's lowered profile.
It was like an old lover.
That smile, that look. That's what I hated the most.
Standing by the window in the libraryOne sideI looked at it.
It was Noah's room.
“…….”
I turned my head.
“You said you weren’t interested, so why are you looking at me?”
"……under."
My breath escaped me.
I jumped up from my seat.
He threw his fist into the air.
“What the heck, what are those eyes!”
The air trembled slightly.
Still, the feeling of frustration didn't go away.
"Are you a lover? Are you old friends? Or are you just—"
I couldn't continue speaking.
My mouth trembled even though I knew there would be no answer.
A hollow laugh came out.
“What the heck is this, really…”
My fingertips felt hot.
The more my emotions rose, the colder my body became.
Seo-ryeon's words lingered in my ears.
Noah.
That one affectionate call lingered terribly long.
“What the hell is that woman? Yoon Seo-ryeon, Yoon-Seo-ryeon.”
The more I spit out the name, the more I felt like something was being scratched.
“……Much prettier than me, much more confident,
“It suits people’s eyes better too.”
The corners of his mouth twisted.
“…I’m the fiancé.”
A sound escaped me without me knowing.
After saying that, I was surprised at myself.
‘Why am I like this…?’
Even as I said that, my heart was in a complicated state.
And then he clenched his fist again, this time towards the empty space.
This time it didn't hit.
I just held it there for a long time.
My heart was pounding so loudly.
The wind blew outside the window.
So I was shaken for no reason.
I thought that was all.
———
An invitation arrived from the Left State Councillor's home.
It was the morning of the fifth day since Seo-ryeon left.
The refined writing was neatly arranged on top of the red seal.
‘A gathering to celebrate the return of Han Gongja and to gather together for a new relationship.’
It was only one line, but there was a hidden meaning between the sentences.
There was no word ‘fiance’
Everyone guessed.
That ‘fate to be together’ refers to Han Gongja’s fiancée.
And the world already knew.
That name would be ‘Yoon Seo-ryeon’.
On the day of the banquet,
Sohwa came into the room carrying clothes.
“Baby, you must wear this silk today.
He said that the clothes were given directly from the Left State Councillor’s house.”
The dark blue vest that touched my fingertips felt smooth and cool.
The flower pattern embroidered with silver thread was bathed in light,
The skirt underneath was a pale pink like the dawn glow.
Every time the sunlight touched it, the silver lining spread like ripples.
Sohwa neatly put her hair up and put a hairpin in it.
At that moment, footsteps were heard outside the door.
It was Noah.
He was much neater today than usual.
A light black silk was layered over the white robe.
A thin knotted string neatly wrapped around her waist.
A subtle fragrance, like the wind, wafted from the hem of his clothes.
“It took a long time to prepare.”
His voice was calm, but there was a hint of laughter at the end.
“Your Majesty, you are dressed very carefully today.”
Noah smiled as I answered while looking in the mirror.
“–What I put effort into today isn’t the clothes, but the people I’m going to be sitting with today.”
That gaze reflected me in the mirror.
For a moment, his gaze brushed over my shoulder, smoother than silk.
He stood there strangely still, as if the light of the clothes I was wearing was reflected in him.
“Confucius.”
"huh."
“That look is rude.”
Noah smiled slowly.
“If you say that being beautiful is rude, then all men in this world must be sinners.”
“…That means Confucius often becomes a sinner.”
He swallowed his laughter and lowered his head.
“Your words always make me cautious.”
“Isn’t that a good thing?”
“That’s true – and it’s also quite dangerous.”
He took a step back from me.
“Let’s go,madam.“Because tonight is going to be an especially long night.”
Instead of answering, I nodded gently.
⸻
The way to the banquet hall
The air that night was unusually clear and cold.
The garden of the Left State Councillor's house was brighter than moonlight.
Hundreds of lanterns were lined up as if they were touching the sky,
Below that, red silk was spread all the way to the floor.
The scent of plum blossoms spread gently, and music sounded faintly from afar.
People whispered.
“I heard your fiancée is coming tonight?”
“I heard it’s Yoon.”
I walked quietly, listening to that whisper.
“There are… so many people.”
“Everyone will be excited to hear that you’re coming.”
“It’s probably because of Confucius rather than to see the temple.”
“What’s the difference?”
He said that and laughed lightly.
He was calm, but I knew.
Where will today's arrow point?countryThat is.
“I will guide you this way.”
Following the servant's guidance, I headed with Noah to the main hall in the center of the garden.As soon as I enteredA commotion arose.
Everyone's eyes followed my toes.
“Who is that person?”
“Sitting next to Confucius….”
Noah sat me down in the seat next to the main guest.
A seat one step lower.
It was a place he could call his side without anyone's permission.
The seats for others were already assigned.
In the south, the nobles and civil servants sit in a row.
To the north, ladies and gentlemen sat quietly on silk cushions.
In the center there are three tall lanternsA large folding screen embroidered with gold thread was erected.
Behind the screen, the musicians in charge of the music were sitting in a row.
“Welcome, the precious child of the Left State Councillor.”
The banquet began in a chaotic atmosphere.
The gayageum began to play.
The first note was quiet, but soon it filled the hall like a beautiful ripple.
Every time the customer's fingertips flicked the thin string, the moonlight reflected in the glass shattered.
There was a relaxed expression on Noah's lips.
That leisure soon took over the place.
The alcohol was passed around.
The sound of glasses being passed around, laughter and whispers, and the scent of silk sleeves brushing against each other.
I sat calmly and looked around.
Every time everyone's eyes are focused on one place
Noah was always at the center of it all.
Just then, the wind pushed the door open slightly.
The door to the main hall opens gently
A ray of red light seeped through.
Everyone's gaze turned towards the door at the same time.
I turned my head.
The moment the red skirt crosses the thresholdThe lantern light flickered.
A red light spread along the tips of his feet.
Red.
A color that was only permitted to be worn by families that offered silk to the imperial family.
Like flames, or like the color of pomegranates falling on ivory.
Every time I moved, the hem of my clothes seemed to burn the air.
“This is Miss Yoon Seo-ryeon.”
The servant's voice rang out.
Everyone's conversation stopped.
Someone took a deep breath.
Seo-ryeon slowly raised her head.
White exposed necklineA faint hairpin decoration swayed upward.
The hem of the skirt swayed with every step I took.
The red and gold were mixed together, like blood and sunlight.
She smiled.
“I’m sorry I’m late.”
Noah slowly got up.
His eyes were fixed on her at that moment.
and
That moment of gaze—
It cut right through my heart.
“It is an honor to meet Her Majesty the Left State Councillor again.”
“See you again.”
The two people locked eyes.
A moment of silence and
All the lights gathered around them.
An attitude that is completely unwavering even in front of strangers.
That one syllableIt seemed to speak of a long relationship between them.
People whispered.
“As expected… they say it’s a long-standing relationship.”
“I guess the fiancée is from the Yun family.”
I sat there without saying anything or making any expression.
As if that lightIt felt like it was swallowing me up in an instant.
Seo-ryeon's eyes narrowed.
“It was a red lantern like this back then too. But it was my birthday, so I lit the lantern myself.”
A scene of two people who look good together no matter who looks at them.
I raised my glass.
Her lips trembled and the glass shook slightly.
Would it have been better if I had just screamed?
I muttered to myself.
The cold alcohol went down my throat.
I didn't use it.
It just had no taste.
Meanwhile, Seo-ryeon took a step closer to him.
At that moment, the scene seemed strangely slow.
The world seemed to tilt slightly.
Her voice flowed through the soft music.
“It’s only been a short time since I came back, but they say the court is already in an uproar.”
Noah raised his head and put down his glass.
"It's been a few days since I last caught my breath. I've been so busy catching up on things I've been putting off."
Seo-ryeon tilted her glass and smiled.
"You've gotten stronger since then. I guess you didn't just study in Qing."
“What does that mean?”
Noah chuckled.
“When I saw you last week, you didn’t say anything.”
“I missed you so much.”
Noah answered with a smile.
It was a short, restrained laugh.
but That one short laughIn Seo-ryeon's eyes, it sparkled like a light that lingered for a long time.
The people around them naturally sat with the two of them at the center.
The conversation began to revolve around them.
‘What did Confucius study in the Qing Dynasty?’
‘I hear Miss Seo-ryeon still recites poetry.’
‘It would be a picturesque scene if the two of you sat together in the study and discussed writing.’
I don't know who started saying that.
People just laughed softly at those words.
Not a single bit of that laughter reached me.
I put down my glass.
Then Noah turned his head. Their eyes met.
For a moment, he narrowed his eyes as if trying to read my expression.
And then for a very short momentHe smiled.
But strangely enough, even that gazeIt didn't comfort me at the moment.
Seo-ryeon raised her glass and spoke softly.
"Today is dedicated to you, Han Gongja. It's a celebration of your return and a celebration of new connections."
She raised her glass.
“All together, for the return of Confucius—!”
People cheered.
The glasses clinked together, making a clear sound.
The theme of the banquet has completely changed.
It was not an ‘engagement’, but a ‘return’.
Everyone laughed for him.
Seo-Ryeon was also at the center of it.
I looked at the sight and then quietly lowered my gaze.
I sat there today like a person without a single line of dialogue.
He was by Noah's side, but he wasn't by Noah's side.
The light from the lamp flickered over the glass.
The light seemed to flicker over my face.
At that moment, a corner of my heart realized something clearly.
Seo-ryeon was more splendid and taller than me.
And I was the only one who didn't shine in this splendor.
_____
It was a moment when the atmosphere changed.
Noah stood up, lifted his glass and spoke slowly.
“It's been a long journey to reach this night. I'll share my first drink with the person who will be by my side tonight.”
The servant stepped forward holding a golden cup.
His gaze turned to me.
When the servant placed a glass in front of me, the room became quiet and murmured.
In particular, Seo-ryeon's face hardened.
Noah looked only at me until the end.
The look in his eyes was quiet but firm.
‘I am by your side.’
It seemed to say that.
The others' eyes were a mixture of congratulations, curiosity, and the faintest hint of contempt.
He lifted his glass and touched it with mine.
"Light always illuminates what's right next to it. Without you, it illuminates nothing."
The two glasses shone like a blanket under the lamplight.
In that brief moment, all whispers at the banquet ceased.
Only then did everyone know.
The main character of this night is not ‘him’
That she was ‘the one next to him’.
I raised my glass in the face of it all.
“Thank you.”
Her lips were smiling, but her fingertips were trembling slightly.
As the cheers from the audience slowly returnedMasterHe added:
“May this bond grow stronger. Add your blessings tonight.”
The servants passed the drinks around again.
The guest recited the first verse of the Spring Leisure Song.
Women's seatThe ladies of the village gave us kind words of encouragement.
“My fiancé, I hope you remember today for a long time.”
“You are blessed.”
“The young lady will establish a new standard for the Left State Councillor’s household.”
“They are a well-matched pair.”
Words and laughter flowed again, but to my ears they were dull as water.
⸻
The banquet slowly came to a close.
People had left, but their words and gazes still lingered on the main hall.
The scent of the remaining alcohol hung thinly in the air from each glass.
The hem of her silk skirt still had the lingering scent of fire.
I couldn't move from that spot for a long time.
I didn't say a single word today
The world has called my name too many times.
‘The fiancée of the Left State Councillor’s family.’
Those words didn't sound sweet.
You are blessed
It was a burden, not a blessing.
A cool breeze blew, and only then did I feel a little less out of breath.
“Let’s go in now.”
Noah's voice was heard.
He still had a calm face.
But that face bothered me more.
I looked back at him.
“People will call me that now. The fiancée of the Left State Councillor’s family.”
He waited quietly for me to speak.
“Those words… are really heavy.”
“Why is it heavy?”
“Because I don’t fit in there.”
NoahI took a step closer.
“There is no place where you do not fit in.”
“That’s from Confucius’s perspective.”
“It’s not my position, it’s the truth.”
His firm words made me laugh.
“Confucius, by any chance—”
His lips trembled for a moment.
“Do you love me?”
He stopped.
The wind blew and the lanterns shook the last remaining light.
Noah's eyes reflected on me amidst the shaking.
But he didn't answer.
A brief silence. He took a step back.
Just then, firecrackers went off outside.
pop-
Red flames shot up into the night sky and then scattered into thin streamers.
People cheered.
“Yeah.”
Noah's voice came from behind, very low but clear.
Noah slowly opened his mouth.
“Tonight.”
He turned his gaze away towards the pond.
“I have a confession to make.”
“Confession?”
“Yes. All the reasons you couldn’t trust me will disappear.
“That kind of confession.”
At the end of his words, the lights on the pond quietly went out.
Only the moonlight remained.
I couldn't say anything
I looked at him through the light.
The banquet ended in fireworks
My night began waiting for that one word.
Episode 5: That Night, the Flames That Swallowed Me - End