[Collection of short stories]

No matter how cold you were, I loved you

김여주

...Ji...Jimin...

박지민

.....

김여주

Ji...Jimin?

박지민

30 minutes are up, I'm going.

김여주

Huh...already..?

박지민

Yeah. It looks like you have nothing to say anyway, so I'm going.

김여주

Ji..Jimin!!

That was the moment

I was about to trip over a cafe chair, but opened my eyes feeling stable.

Jimin was supporting me

박지민

Be careful. I'm going out.

Because of this, I can't break up with Jimin.

His cold gaze drives a nail into my heart, but I can't break up with him because of the affectionate behavior from earlier.

Because that's what makes it so great.

So I returned home less than 30 minutes after meeting Jimin.

After returning home, I left the house once again for Jimin.

After I went to the market

Jimin headed home.

It was the moment when I arrived in front of Jimin's house and tried to open the door.

The door lock opened even though I didn't open it.

A woman came out of it.

The woman had cat-like eyes and red lipstick.

I looked at the door in confusion. It was Jimin's house, room 1013.

I asked her slowly

김여주

Who...who are you?

여자

What does it matter? But who are you and what's going on at Jimin's house?

I was a firm believer. But the moment I saw her coming out of Jimin's house

The 'trust' and 'confidence' that I had built up deep in my heart collapsed.

I asked the woman, my hands trembling behind my back.

김여주

Who are you?

여자

Jimin is my brother's girlfriend, even though she's only second.

I was just dumbfounded. Jimin's second woman looked at me dumbfounded and pathetic and just walked away.

I just left the apartment and went back home.

When I got home, I took out my diary.

I slowly wrote down all my negative feelings in my diary.

It's so miserable,

I'm so sad,

It's so hard,

Last time, the pain was so painful that it was insignificant,

It hurt more and more.

What have I been doing until now

I tried so hard

He was so dedicated

I stopped looking

I stopped loving you

Did I pour out my affection?

I had been living for four years only looking at Jimin, so I didn't realize reality, but now I'm finally realizing it.

No matter how much I

Even if I try

ever so

Even if I stop looking

ever so

Even if I stop loving you

ever so

Even if you are dedicated

No matter how much

Even if I pour out my affection

He doesn't love me anymore.

but

Because I love him madly

Because I don't have the confidence to live without him

Because without him, there's no one by my side anymore

I choose to part ways with this world rather than with him.

I went to the convenience store, put the diary in a box, and sent it by courier.

I walked down this rainy street.

Today, I walked down a street that seemed more deserted than usual.

I walked the last street I walked.

It's 4:27 AM now

This time, neither dark nor bright

I'm good

I stood in front of the Han River Bridge.

The dizzying height and

The river water looks cold

It was scary and frightening

I jumped down without hesitation

Maybe it was because it was early winter, but I was in pain because of the cold river water and the feeling of my breathing becoming increasingly difficult.

but

It was less painful than going back to the scenes I had seen and the moments I had felt.

Leaving behind those painful sensations

I slowly closed my eyes.

The next morning

-Breaking news. It has been revealed that Kim committed suicide by jumping into the Han River early last night.

-Currently recovering the body..

Boom!

박지민

What's so ominous about this morning?

Ding dong

박지민

who are you

택배원

It's a delivery

박지민

yes.

Jimin slowly opened the package.

Inside was a diary with the name Kim Yeo-ju written on it.

박지민

What, is this another event?

Jimin began to read the diary slowly.

January 1, 2017

It's already the new year. I'm already 24?

Jimin has become a lot colder these days.

I have so much to say, but I don't want to worry Jimin.

-The first page of the heroine's diary

박지민

What...what is this...

March 26, 2018

Jimin, when will you ever see me?

Jimin, if you don't like me, tell me.

And if you don't like me, tell me to break up.

Jimin, please

Don't say you love me with those dry eyes.

You are not a machine that only says you love unconditionally.

but

I can't tell you to break up

Because I love you so much.

Your cold gaze stabs a knife into my heart

I feel so miserable because I am excited by your insincere consideration.

And Jimin

Is it my birthday today?

You may not remember, though.

I feel so miserable because I only say what I want to say in my diary instead of to you.

-The heroine's diary, chapter 2

박지민

.....

Jimin started to have a lot of thoughts and decided that he should sort things out with his second.

Jimin slowly turned to the next page.

August 13, 2018

You're cold to me again today

I have no one else to rely on but you

I have no family or friends

When you came into the cafe today and sat next to me

I smelled like a strange woman's perfume.

I feel like you've been cheating lately, but I shouldn't suspect you...?

I should go clean your house.

-The Heroine's Diary, Chapter 3

박지민

Heroine...sob...I'm sorry...sob...

November 30, 2018

Jimin, I don't think I can stand this anymore.

I'm so tired right now

I'm lonely

I feel lonely

It's miserable

but

love you

but

I regret everything I've poured into you so far.

I visit your company every day and give you a lunch box to ask you to take good care of yourself.

What did you do?

When I clean your house every day

What did you do?

Even when I devote myself to you

Even when I help you

Come to think of it, you didn't do anything.

I saw your second today.

At first I thought it wasn't your house.

But seeing that it's your house

My heart is broken

It was really so miserable

and

Today is our 4th anniversary.

You may not remember, though.

Jimin, even if you can't give me your heart, you shouldn't have hurt me.

Even if you can't contact me, you shouldn't have ignored me.

How can you say you love someone when you don't even know how to give love?

I don't know anymore

I don't know where or how to start washing these wounds.

Why on earth is it that you leave the scars and I have to erase them?

Jimin, I keep the lights on in my house day and night

I feel like if I turn on the light, you'll go away, so this loneliness is desolate.

After you read this diary

I'm probably already trapped in cold water

Jimin-ah

love you

I love you passionately

No matter how cold you were, I loved you and I still love you

Then take care Jimin

-The last page of the heroine's diary

Jimin couldn't believe what he was seeing, so he turned the page, but there was nothing there.

Jimin is

He ran straight to Yeoju's house.

It was when I tried to press the door lock of the female protagonist's house.

???

Excuse me, are you Kim Yeo-ju's lover?

박지민

Yes? Yes, that's right?

경찰

Oh, I'm a police officer. Last night at dawn, Ms. Kim Yeo-ju committed suicide by jumping into the Han River.

박지민

N..huh?

박지민

What...what does that mean..?

박지민

Ah... no... Ah... no!!!! Aaaah!!!

경찰

Calm down...!! This is... Ms. Kim Yeo-ju's luggage and I have to finish the investigation so I'll go.

Jimin cried like that for a long time and then returned home.

Jimin slowly unpacked Yeoju's luggage.

5 sets of tops

5 sets of bottoms

4 sets of outerwear and underwear

Old music box and camera

A photo taken with yourself

A blanket, a pillow, and a teddy bear that I gave him on his 100th day.

That was it.

Jimin is holding Yeoju's teddy bear

Feeling the scent of the female protagonist

I cried out loud.

No matter how much I regret it, the heroine is dead.

Regret doesn't bring back the dead heroine.

Picking up broken glass shards will only return you with scars.

Sadly, Jimin doesn't know

Let's not lose sight of what's precious, deceived by familiarity.