Even if I cheat, you don't cheat when you sleep.
#23 The object of my envy and my idol
Dreuk-
bang-
김여주
Ah, safe~!
A female student came in through the back door with a loud noise.
최수빈
...!
최연준
..oh, really;
최연준
Let's go together;;
김여주
What can I do if you're slow?
최연준
..Huh? Haha
From the first day of the new semester, when those two entered the classroom, there was no time for silence.
최수빈
...
I've always been drawn to those two.
It seemed like the artificial brightness that was different from mine kept pulling me in.
Time passed like that and it was April
It was a time when groups were forming among the children.
I'm not deeply affiliated with any group.
As a class president, I became a student who got along well with all the students in the class.
I had won the children's favor to some extent, and I was still surrounded by children who wanted to become friends with me.
however
I still felt empty.
From the beginning, I was a superficial person who was often told that I had a wall in my relationship with children because of my personality of not getting close to people.
That actually made me feel better.
Because I was always supposed to be my father's doll who had to look good.
so
There were many times when I felt bad for myself for not showing my true feelings and only putting on an artificial smile, but this was all I could do.
But, you weren't.
...
최연준
Oh really;;
최연준
Is this you? Kim Yeo-ju;;
Yeonjun's face was darkened around his eyes with a Mercury marker.
김여주
Haha..sigh, haha..(*laughing)
최연준
Oh seriously, what is this..!;;
등장인물
Student 1 | Haha ...
등장인물
Student 2 | Who drew that? It's a masterpiece? Hahahahaha
등장인물
Student 3 | This is so funny, seriously lol
김여주
Look, my drawing skills
김여주
Haha, it seems like art school is possible.
김여주
Am I going to become a famous painter like Van Gogh? Seriously, that should be exhibited at the Louvre.*
등장인물
Student 1 | Ah, Kim Yeo-ju. Haha, your dreams are so intense.
최연준
Sigh..;; (*hair tie)
등장인물
lol
최수빈
...
Yeoju and Yeonjun were always the center of attention in class.
They were both cheerful kids with a gentle personality, and unlike me, they were easy to get along with.
I was envious of that aspect of them.
That's why
These were two friends who I first thought of becoming close with.
It probably won't be easy, though...
The day we change seats,
This is how I got my chance.
Kim Yeo-ju was sitting right behind me.
I first found courage that day.
Normally, I'd be the type to let someone else talk to me first, but that day, I was the one who said hello first.
최수빈
...hi?
최수빈
Are you Kim Yeo-ju? (smiles)
I wanted to look good, so I smiled at the female lead for the first time.
김여주
..Uh, yeah..!
김여주
hi?
김여주
Wow, I think this is my first time talking to you..?
최수빈
Ah haha
김여주
...
Yeoju)) You're pretty when you smile..
김여주
You... are Choi Soo-bin?
최수빈
huh
김여주
Since the new semester started
김여주
I wanted to become close with you haha
최수빈
...Why? (*meaning)
최수빈
..ah
I didn't know and asked why.
I've heard countless times about people wanting to be friends, so I always laugh it off.
I wondered why the person I wanted to be friends with said that. I wondered if I wanted to hear, "Why did you want to be friends with me?"
김여주
Oh, you're so popular! You're always smiling!
김여주
And when you smile, you're pretty too... (getting smaller and smaller)
김여주
...//
최수빈
Ahh
All of that
...Does this kid know that it's all an act?
I hope you won't be disappointed
...
I had that thought, but soon I forgot about it.
After that incident
...
rooftop
I used to go up to the school rooftop sometimes.
Here, there was no one to worry about, so it was a place where I could just be myself.
...
Phha..-
Thick clouds of smoke rise into the sky.
With a musty smell...
최수빈
...
My little digression, shall we say..
Sometimes I go up to the rooftop and light a cigarette, and I feel a sense of security as I watch the smoky smoke rise.
It was like a small comfort to me who had been suppressing and suppressing things for so long.
최수빈
...under-
While I was enjoying my own time...
Clank.-
Crazy and crazy..-!!
With a loud noise, the rooftop door suddenly opened.
최수빈
ah,
최수빈
Ah, ah..hot..;;
I was so startled by the rooftop door suddenly opening that I dropped the cigarette I was holding.
최수빈
...under,
최수빈
...Ha, shit... (mumbles)
...
최연준
...0ㅅ0
최수빈
...
최수빈
...ah,
It was Yeonjun who opened the rooftop door and came out.
And then I got caught.
My escapades that no one knew about...
...
최수빈
...
최수빈
...did you see it?
I didn't want to be caught like this...
To begin with, for you and the female protagonist...
최연준
Oh..oh, uh..;;
최연준
...sorry
최연준
Uh... That's not what I was looking for
최수빈
..no, it's okay
최수빈
I thought no one would come to the rooftop...
최연준
...Aha;;ㅎㅎ..
The Fed smiles awkwardly.
최수빈
...
Shit, I'm screwed.
Now I can't be friends with Choi Yeonjun..
Besides... if this story gets to my parents...
under...
About being caught in my escapades
My head was full of worries.
최연준
...
최연준
...Hey, are you Choi Soo-bin?
최수빈
...huh
Oh, you even know my name..
This is really fucked up
최연준
Is this the first time I've talked to you?
최수빈
..huh
최연준
...Oh, can I stay here?
최수빈
what?
I was taken aback by your sudden question of whether I could stay here.
If I were you, I would probably avoid this place because it would be awkward.
최수빈
Yeah, do whatever you want.
최연준
Oh, that's a relief...
최연준
Thank you haha
최연준
I ran away from Kim Yeo-ju lol
At my answer, the Fed immediately smiled brightly and continued speaking.
최수빈
...did you fight?
최연준
no?
최연준
Did I tease you and jump out? (*confident)
최수빈
?What is that..lol
I couldn't help but laugh at the Fed's confidence.
최연준
But do you come here often?
최수빈
...
Wouldn't it be okay to respond a little shamelessly?
최수빈
Yeah, to go on a break.
최연준
...and,
최수빈
Why, it's a bit weird that it looks like it won't happen...? Haha
최연준
No, it's really cool.
최수빈
..huh?;
최연준
Oh, that doesn't mean cigarettes are cool;;
최연준
The way you speak...
최연준
No? Were you always this cool?
최수빈
...??;
최연준
At school, I always see you smiling brightly...
최연준
A little... humane, perhaps?
최수빈
...what is that lol
I felt like my heart was set at ease by the Fed's words.
How long has it been since I've had a conversation with myself, as myself, rather than as an artificial version of myself?
No, has that ever happened?
최연준
Anyway,
최연준
Smoking is bad for your health, so quit slowly.
최연준
I'll pretend not to know today (smile)
최수빈
...huh
최수빈
thank you
최연준
lol
최연준
Hey, I think we're getting a little closer?
최수빈
..okay?
최연준
Can I keep coming here?
최수빈
..?
최연준
This place has a great view, and it's also a great place to hide and avoid Kim Yeo-ju.. haha
최수빈
You'll get hit like that someday.. haha
최연준
Oh, don't be ridiculous
최연준
Because I'm already getting hit as much as I can...ㅜ
최수빈
lol
...
That's how we became friends because of my deviation.
Yeonjun would occasionally stop by the rooftop to chat with me, and we quickly became close. Soon, I, who never formed a group, started hanging out with Yeoju and Yeonjun.
So I cut down on going to the rooftop, and I decided not to smoke at all, despite the Fed's nagging to quit.
Finally my escapades came to an end
At the end of that deviation, I got you.
...
After that, a few things happened here and there.
When Yeonjun found out about Yeoju's feelings for me
To be honest, of course, I also had a rational feeling for the female lead.
More than that, my friendship with Yeonjun came first.
Yeonjun was a friend to whom I could freely reveal my true self, and who fully accepted it. That kind of personality always made him the object of my envy and my idol.
So at that time, I decided to give up on the feeling of love.
Besides, Yeo-ju thought it was right because Yeon-jun was the one who shined brighter in front of her.
...
I'm back-
##대표
Are you here?
최수빈
..!?
최수빈
Oh..ah, father..?
As I entered the front door, my father was waiting for me, and I was very surprised to see him at home, as he rarely came home.
최수빈
Um...what's going on?
##대표
...How is school?
최수빈
..yes?
It was a normal, ordinary question, like any ordinary father would ask his father for the first time.
But it was an unfamiliar question to me.
My father and I didn't have much contact, so at first we only exchanged greetings.
But for the first time, a question that seemed to be curious about me made a small sound in my heart.
최수빈
...school is fun
##대표
Do you have any friends?
최수빈
Yes, I have two friends who hang out together.
최수빈
Their names are Choi Yeonjun and Kim Yeoju.
최수빈
The kids are really nice.. (smile)
I got excited without realizing it because of my father's question and started muttering to myself.
Was it because it was my father's first warm words?
##대표
..okay?
##대표
Then let's be friends (smile)
##대표
When you're in high school, friends are the most important thing.
##대표
...and I get along well with that friend named Choi Yeonjun.
최수빈
Yes, Father... (brightly)
So, my father would come to my house sometimes and ask me about my school life, and I would get excited and tell him everything.
Until then
My father is my father and I am my father's son.
I thought our relationship was getting better.
however,,
...
-
-
-
Is the job worth learning?
최수빈
Yes, father
##대표
okay
##대표
Are you doing well with your friends?
최수빈
We can't meet often these days because of work
최수빈
We keep in touch sometimes
My father was always curious about what my friends were talking about.
Even now that I'm an adult...
최수빈
...but, father
##대표
?
최수빈
Father, are you always curious about my friends?
##대표
huh?
최수빈
Oh, it's nothing else
최수빈
Always...asking about friends
##대표
...
##대표
...Is it time for Subin to know now?
Father hesitated for a moment and then continued speaking.
...
That day I found out.
The fact that Yeonjun and I are half-brothers...
My father's story... was a great shock and confusion to me.
At first I couldn't believe it.
No, I didn't want to believe it.
But my father wasn't the type of person to say such absurd things...
...I want to deny it, but that's the reality.
...
I was too young to accept all that.
For a while, I couldn't focus on work or food, and every time I went to work, I saw my boss scolding me and people at work gossiping about me being a parachute.
In that situation, I often went hungry and would collapse whenever I had the chance.
How many months did I spend like that?
A day when I just couldn't bear it alone
Just like that
I went to see Yeonjun.
I stopped in front of the alley in front of Yeonjun's house.
and
There was a female protagonist there.
김여주
...uh?
김여주
What is it, Choi Soo-bin?
The heroine came to me as soon as she saw me.
김여주
When did you come?
최수빈
just now
최수빈
Why are you outside..?
김여주
Ah, wait for Choi Yeonjun lol
김여주
I said I wanted ice cream, and he just went out to buy it.
최수빈
..ah
김여주
Why? What's going on?
김여주
Without any contact...
최수빈
...
최수빈
...the Fed came to see me
최수빈
..if not, what,
...it's better.
If I tell Yeonjun about my father for no reason...
Not only will it become awkward...
The Fed will also be in for a huge shock.
I'm also having a hard time and feeling confused...
최수빈
...
...Okay, let's just go back.
Just before I thought of that
김여주
...Subin, what's wrong?
The heroine opened her mouth cautiously.
최수빈
...
김여주
You don't look very well.
김여주
I heard you got a job recently, is it really hard?
최수빈
...
최수빈
...just because things weren't going well
김여주
Ah... work is so hard...
최수빈
...huh
I confided in my female lead that my work was difficult.
Actually, it was for other reasons, not just the company.
I couldn't tell that story to the heroine.
I didn't even want to show myself like this.
In front of the heroine...
I didn't want to do that.
김여주
It's not easy to adapt...
김여주
I am a manager, but I have a job that requires me to meet with directors, the CEO of the agency, and many other people.
김여주
It was really hard at first...
김여주
I got scolded a lot too lol
김여주
But it's a learning process, so I've held on until now.
김여주
Subin, you will do well
김여주
I believe you are always a shining person wherever you go
최수빈
...
...who would say that,, (snickers)
김여주
Oh my, I'm really upset
김여주
Are you eating well?
김여주
It's very thin and...;
최수빈
...he
김여주
Subin
김여주
If you have a hard time, come to me anytime
김여주
Have a can of beer with me
김여주
While drinking, we also badmouth our bosses together haha
김여주
Don't hold back, it's okay to cry out loud sometimes
최수빈
...
My heart aches at the heroine's words telling me not to hold back.
And then he spat it out.
...
최수빈
What should I do...
최수빈
..it's so hard
As he said that, his eyes were already on the verge of tears.
김여주
..
The female protagonist had a sad expression on her face at seeing me like that.
And the heroine carefully opened her mouth.
김여주
..Seeing you struggling like this, I can't tell you to just hold on
Wow.-
The heroine hugged me without saying anything.
And he lightly patted my back and comforted me, saying that I had suffered.
최수빈
..!
I was a little surprised, but the embrace was so warm
I also felt like I didn't want to let go.
...I felt that someone's pat on the back could be so warm without saying a word.
It was a great comfort.
After that day,
I gradually decided to accept it.
The truth my father told me, and even my confused feelings
And I thought that Yeonjun didn't know that fact.
But at some point, I started to feel like Yeonjun was avoiding me.
I had a gut feeling that the Fed had figured it out too.
and
I thought that one day I would face the truth with Yeonjun.
That day
It came sooner than I expected.
...
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Hand_ting_hae
Hand_ting_hae💖