If pain has a forecast
18
김석진
Oh... it's Yoon Yeo-ju...
He called my three-character name, a name I'd never heard before. The author was so drunk that I barely managed to get him inside the house and lay him down on the bed.
윤여주
Ha... I really hate you. I barely escaped, so why did you come here...
In the end, I barely managed to sleep on the sofa, covered only by a blanket, without any blankets. I was sure I had slept on the sofa, but when I opened my eyes, it was morning and I was lying alone in bed.
···
오전 12:04
윤여주
M, what is it? Why am I lying here? Author. Author!!
No matter how hard I searched the house, I couldn't find the author. When I went back to the bedroom, I found a note lying next to the bed.
"I'm sorry. I was really rude. I'll explain everything next time."
I saw the note and immediately called the author. Naturally, he didn't answer, and I left a message, but he didn't see it.
I ran straight to the author's house without even gathering my thoughts. Right now, all I could think about was the absolute necessity of meeting him. I just kept running, staring straight ahead.
Bang bang bang
윤여주
Author!!!
Bang bang bang
윤여주
Open the door. I know what's inside, so open the door!!
No matter how much I shouted, the door wouldn't open. Then I remembered the time I'd known the author's house password. Surely, he'd changed it, I thought, and I punched in the password. But with a "ring," it opened. Apparently, the author hadn't changed the password since then.
윤여주
Author.
I entered the house, but the author was nowhere to be seen. Neither the living room nor the studio were in sight. I headed to the bedroom, which was firmly shut. As expected, the door wouldn't open, so I assumed the author had locked it.
윤여주
Author, come out and talk to me.
김석진
······.
윤여주
I won't say anything about you coming to my house drunk, so explain what happened.
윤여주
If you don't want to come out, talk about it there.
Then the author opened the door and came out. I couldn't read his expression.
김석진
I left you a note. Why did you come here?
The author was more confident and decisive than I expected. Just like when we broke up. Nothing has changed then or now.
윤여주
Then the author should have changed his password. When did he come back to Korea?
김석진
You don't need to know.
윤여주
No, even if we stop seeing each other, isn't this something you can tell me? Why are you still so firm with me?
김석진
Let's go. I don't want to talk.
윤여주
Why the hell are you doing this to me? Then why don't you just never show up in front of me again! What do you care if I sleep cold on the sofa? Why did you even let me sleep in bed?
윤여주
Honestly, I was fine even after the author left. But why did the author appear in front of me first and then tell me to go? I just can't understand.
김석진
I'm sorry, I drank too much yesterday.
윤여주
So, why did you drink so much? Something must have happened, right? You said it would take at least six months, but it's only been three. What's going on? Something isn't working out with you, writer?
김석진
Okay... Let's talk again next time...
윤여주
...There will be no next time. I gave you a chance. Don't show up in front of me again.
And then I left the writer's house. That wasn't my true intention. I wanted to hold on to him, cling to him, and talk to him until the very end, but I guess I was also frustrated.
As soon as I finished speaking so eloquently, tears welled up in my eyes again. Still, it was irritating to see the author still treating me the same way, even though it had been so long since we last spoke.
Where did we go wrong? Nothing really worked out with the writer. As I was about to head home, I saw Curator Kim coming my way.
윤여주
Curator Kim···?
김태형 큐레이터
Oh, huh...? Why is the curator here?
윤여주
Then why are you here?
김태형 큐레이터
I... came to meet the curator!
윤여주
But why here...
김태형 큐레이터
The curator is here too. And what's wrong with you? You're crying.
윤여주
You... did you know that writer Kim Seok-jin came to Korea?
김태형 큐레이터
Oh, the author is here? You didn't say anything.
윤여주
Why aren't you surprised?
김태형 큐레이터
yes?
윤여주
Why aren't you surprised? You speak as if you've been seeing the author all along.
김태형 큐레이터
What are you talking about? LOL I just found out too, how was yesterday? I came to meet the curator to ask that. Please tell me.
윤여주
It was good...
김태형 큐레이터
Really? I heard that Yoongi hyung liked it too.
윤여주
But... I don't know.
김태형 큐레이터
What does that mean?
윤여주
Looking at the author, I don't know again.
김태형 큐레이터
But how did you know the author was coming?
윤여주
Yesterday, I was planning to go out for a drink with Yoongi, but I ran into the writer. And he was really drunk. I went home, and he was sleeping in front of my house. I really don't know...
김태형 큐레이터
Are you the author?!
윤여주
No matter how drunk you are, who would go to the wrong house... Ha... This is driving me crazy.
김태형 큐레이터
What does the author say?
윤여주
What can I say? Just like that time, you're pushing me away. You came first and now... It's so annoying.
김태형 큐레이터
But the author is still good, right?
윤여주
what···?
김태형 큐레이터
Honestly, it's true. Even though it's annoying, you can't forget the author.
윤여주
No. I'm not hanging on anymore either.
김태형 큐레이터
...Okay. Shall we go eat?
윤여주
huh.
It seemed okay, but inside, I wasn't feeling it at all. I was still struggling because of the author's firm, pushy attitude, but I tried to pretend I was okay. I felt like if I didn't pretend, I'd be trapped in the struggle again.
It wasn't until the weekend that I finally came to my senses. There was something I'd forgotten. I had to email the writer, but things are a lot different now than they were back then, when I was brimming with energy.
I don't even know the exact relationship between the former writer and Kim Seok-jin, so I'm hesitant to contact him, and my confidence that he'll approve has plummeted. My mind is turning white.
MEY메이
It's been a while since I've been here ㅠㅠㅠ I've been so busy and out of my mind lately that I couldn't come ㅠㅠ I'm sorry for making you wait so long. 🙏🏻 Thank you for coming to see me today! 💙