What the wounds on my body and the wounds on my heart have in common

[Episode 8]

박지민

"Are you really not going to apologize?"

박지민

"Are you not truly willing to apologize?"

Lee Ji-ho had absolutely no desire to apologize, but he knew it would only make matters worse if things got worse, so he forced himself to apologize. Of course, it was no secret that his apology was devoid of any sincerity.

이지호

"I'm sorry. I didn't know you would hate it."

박지민

"what?"

Is it even possible to include such a phrase in the word "apology"? Why not at least make an excuse? It'll just make me feel bitter...

박지민

"You didn't know I'd hate it?"

이지호

"Yeah, I didn't know. I apologized. Is that okay now?"

박지민

"That crazy guy..."

박지민

"I can just hit you on the head and say I didn't know it would hurt. Then it's all over?"

이지호

"......"

Lee Ji-ho paused. Jimin's weighty facts seemed to have left him speechless.

박지민

"Do you think I'm doing this to get revenge on you?"

박지민

"No. Unlike you, I intend to make you reflect in a proper way."

박지민

"I ran this far just for that one thing. No matter how tired and difficult it was, I gritted my teeth and held on."

이지호

"...poisonous bird#"

박지민

"It's the tough ones who survive. That's true in survival games, and it's true now, in this place."

박지민

"Guys like you who rely solely on connections will never be able to beat me."

이지호

"What? Are you done talking?"

박지민

"No? There's still a lot left to say~"

박지민

"Why? Just hit me like you used to? Haven't you kicked that habit yet? Hit me, hit me."

이지호

"You think I can't hit you? This bird..."

Yoongi slammed the table and spoke. His tone was enough to convey his anger.

민윤기 [판사]

"Victim, defendant. What are you doing now?"

박지민

"sorry..."

전정국

"Your Honor, the defendant currently does not acknowledge his wrongdoing and shows no signs of remorse..."

이지호

"Hey, Jeon Jungkook. I apologized earlier. I said I reflected on it."

전정국

"If you had reflected properly, you wouldn't have apologized like that, right?"

이지호

"Ha... Am I being funny? You think you can do anything just because you're being tested. That's just your delusion. Nothing's changed since before."

전정국

"There's a reason why people say, 'Listen with one ear and let it out the other.'"

전정국

"What you're saying right now is 'Ignore it, it's bullshit', is that all I can hear?"

이지호

"This crazy bird#. Is it coming back..."

전정국

"Yeah, I'm a dora. I'm a dora among dora, what?"

전정국

"You're so smart, so stop whining and just go to jail and reflect on your actions while I'm talking to you."

이지호

"......"

이지호

"jimin park..."

이지호

"I'm so fucking sorry."

이지호

"It's still like that now, but I guess I really didn't think about it back then. I bitterly regret that."

박지민

"......"

이지호

"I'm really sorry... I was wrong."

Jimin's tears, which seemed to have subsided somewhat, began to flow again. It was just a few words, but not enough to forgive everything he'd experienced. But he cried.

No matter how hard he tried to hide it with his hands and stop it, it wouldn't stop. Wasn't this the apology Jimin had been longing for? Words he'd waited for years but never heard. He couldn't control his emotions.

박지민

"N, I didn't know you would apologize..."

박지민

"It was just words, but I felt it. You were reflecting on your mistakes. So, we agreed..."

It was then. Before Jimin could even finish speaking, Lee Ji-ho burst into a smile he couldn't hide. A smile bloomed in the shadows cast across his downturned face.

At that moment, Jimin's whole body froze. That smile he always wore when Lee Ji-ho bullied him. It was years ago, but he could never forget it. That unique, vicious, and mean smile.

박지민

"......"

When Jimin stiffened and stopped talking, Jungkook worried about what had happened to him. He observed Jimin's expression closely.

Jungkook could tell right away that Jimin was scared.

전정국

"...jimin park!"

박지민

"uh..?"

전정국

"are you okay?"

박지민

"uh..."

He said that, but Jimin already seemed to have lost his mind. His hands trembled. His eyes darted back and forth. A fear dormant somewhere deep within his heart awakened. He had long since lost his senses.

민윤기 [판사]

"Park Jimin? Would you like to agree?"

박지민

"The agreement is..."

박지민

"I'll pretend it never happened."

Even his voice trembled, but he continued speaking calmly. And at those words, Lee Ji-ho's expression hardened.

이지호

"Jimin, why are you suddenly like this...? Weren't we supposed to agree..?"

박지민

"I'm sorry, but I can't do it."

Jimin spoke quite firmly, and it was clearly written on Lee Ji-ho's face that anyone could see, 'I'm angry.'

이지호

"You son of a bitch, why aren't you doing it all of a sudden? Shouldn't you be doing it for this much?"

박지민

"I didn't mean it."

박지민

"I knew what you said was false."

It was my fault for expecting an apology from Lee Ji-ho. I was a fool for trusting Lee Ji-ho, the scum of the earth. Oh, shit#. What the heck.

The trial continued. Weary from the drawn-out proceedings, I left behind and fought Lee Ji-ho. No matter what I did, I couldn't lose. Some cried at my words, some screamed in anger, and others simply looked on with interest.

I truly did my best. I vented my frustrations, and all the evidence I'd been collecting was revealed. I wanted Lee Ji-ho to admit his wrongdoing, and I wanted to receive an apology and reflection.

The moment has finally arrived when the judge's one word will decide your fate.

So the trial was slowly coming to a close.

민윤기 [판사]

"To the defendant..."

민윤기 [판사]

"I sentence you to three years in prison."

It was a relief. I was relieved to find out he wasn't innocent. In contrast, Jeongguk looked at me with discontent, saying the sentence was too small. While it felt like it was too small, I should be grateful for the guilty verdict. I decided to put my complaints aside for the moment.

이지호

"......"

There's one person who's the complete opposite of Jimin, one who's dissatisfied with the results. The veins on his forehead stand out, and his face loses its color.

이지호

"No...this is a dream..."

I denied reality. I brainwashed myself into believing it was a dream. But what difference would that make?

His face, once so confident that he'd never go to jail, was devoid of any confidence. Lee Ji-ho thought.

이지호

'I've been abandoned.'

Lee Ji-ho's family, though it's hard to say out loud, was remarkable. It was absurd that such a family couldn't prevent this one trial. Furthermore, for them to simply watch their own son go to prison was nothing short of abandonment.

Lee Ji-ho's face grew haggard as time passed. And so, the life of the vain prince ended.

°°°

전정국

"I even became a prosecutor just to punish you. It was so hard I could have died, but when I think about what you did to me, I can never give up."

전정국

"Go to jail quietly and reflect on your actions."

이지호

"No!!! That can't be... There's something wrong, I won't go there. I didn't... do anything wrong... I just had fun with you and Park Jimin..."

박지민

"Si##a, are you still not in your right mind? You still don't know that you were the only one having fun?"

박지민

"Do you find it so amusing to see others suffer? This piece of trash..."

이지호

"M, I'm sorry... Please save me. I can't go to jail. No... Please..."

Lee Ji-ho cried and knelt before Jimin. He then held onto Jimin's left leg and begged.

박지민

"It's already too late."

It was a sharp word. Jimin's legs drifted away from Lee Ji-ho's grasp. I wanted him to feel even half of what Jungkook and I had felt, what we had experienced.

박지민

"......"

If you do something wrong, you deserve to be punished. Even if you repent and reflect on your mistakes, it doesn't mean they never happened. Moreover, how can you forgive someone who refuses to reflect? I wanted them to pay the price for their sins.

박지민

"It's really over..."

A mixture of relief and emptiness, knowing it was all over. My legs gave out, and I collapsed. It felt like a hole had been ripped through my once-squeezed chest.

I'd lived only for this day, but now I wondered how I was going to live. Worry overtook me. But a smile spread across my face. I couldn't help but laugh, a feeling I couldn't quite put into words. I couldn't hear Lee Ji-ho's frustration.

The trial ended with someone's frustration.

*Even if you reflect on your mistakes and apologize, it doesn't mean they never happened. Whatever pain you've endured, you have no right to inflict pain on others.

We're human, so we make mistakes and do things we'll regret, but let's apologize. If you're not going to apologize, why not just not do something you'll regret in the first place? It's all about suffering and no one benefits.

*It's good to live your one and only life happily, but I hope you don't harm others. It'll be over soon... I'll be back with a side story. Thank you!